Down the Rabbit Hole with Caron: Do one thing every day that scares you.

This morning, as I was sipping my early morning tea and trying to wake up, I scrolled through my Facebook memories. Fourteen years ago, I wrote two sentences: “Nothing worth having comes easily. Things you have to fight for have more intrinsic value.” I'm can't remember what exactly caused me to write those two sentences, but I was going through a time of absolute devastation.

Seeing that memory made me think about how I've lived my life since then. How I managed to change. And, simply, my answer is by doing things even though I'm shaking with fear.

Eleanor Roosevelt's once said: “Do one thing every day that scares you.”

Eleanor wasn't talking about watching the latest scary movie, or hunting down Hannibal Lecter. She was talking about stepping outside of your comfort zone.

Why can't we just stay in our comfort zone? After all, it's safe in here. I can keep my stress levels down by sticking to a routine, and by doing those things I'm comfortable with. It's safe, secure, warm and fuzzy. I don't have to risk failing, because I already know what I'm doing.

A study by Duke University showed that human beings show a marked reluctance to try new things. Up to 47% of our actions are habitual. Habits we've created because of how we grew up, what we were taught, what we were exposed to, and what we found comfortable and safe.

Habits which include our thought patterns.

Habits which are our comfort zone.

But if we want to grow, we have to experience new things.

We all have things that we are afraid of. For some, it is meeting new people. For others, it could be public speaking. Or ending a bad relationship. Or starting a new job. The greatest fear is of the unknown. The greatest fear, is fear itself.

Why are we so afraid to try that new thing? We are afraid of being bad at something, because we somehow think that we have to be perfect at everything we try, even though it's the first time we've tried it. We are afraid of failing. We are afraid of being embarrassed because we have failed. We are afraid that others will laugh at us, because we've failed. (And, by the way, if they do that, that says more about their own damaged psyche than it does about you). We are afraid of rejection.

So, instead of trying and possibly failing and looking ridiculous, we stay in our safe little bubble. And by staying in our safe bubble, we stop ourselves from experiencing potentially wonderful new things. We stifle our own growth and joy. We block off our own magic. By staying in our comfort zone, we close the door to our growth zone.

Let me tell you a bit about my personal experience with this as my mindset.

I'm actually quite a chicken. I'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm socially anxious, very introverted, and have a ridiculously poor self-image. When I was growing up, I had to deal with parents who often ridiculed my appearance, my intelligence, and my worth (but in fairness to them, they didn't know better).

Luckily for me, I always had a rebellious core, a revolutionary spark buried deep inside me. I have a stubborn streak a mile wide. So, when I'm told not to do something (and it isn't based in logic), then I'll go out of my way to do it. This has spilled over and has become me: if I'm scared of something, I know it's something I should do.

I'm afraid of conflict and confrontation. But, by making myself calmly sit on the outskirts of a mob, eating my lunch and recording with my phone, and making myself seem harmless and approachable, I managed to break up a wildcat strike at one of my workplaces. I can tell you something though, even though I looked calm, I was terrified inside. My heart was thumping, my adrenaline was racing, and I had goosebumps. But, because I took the (calculated) risk, the strike stopped. The striking workers went back to their jobs. I did something that scared me, and it paid off.

I'm also scared of public speaking. I'll get shaky, and I can even feel my blood rushing through the veins in my body because my heart pumps so fast. My stomach will be in knots. And you know what? Even though I am afraid of it and get butterflies of anxiety in my tummy, I'll make myself do it anyway. I've been a guest speaker at medical conferences, I've been interviewed on radio and even on live tv. I've taught classes. I am brilliant at CCMA. People actually seem to value what I say.

I'm very insecure about my physical appearance, especially since I have a huge scar down my abdomen and a colostomy bag hanging off the front of my tummy. But that didn't stop me from putting on a bikini, and going out to swim for the first time around my boyfriend and his friends. I was afraid of judgement and ridicule, but that fear was only in MY head. I refused to give that fear any strength. My boyfriend (now my husband) told me how proud he was of me for doing what I did. And it showed me that all that fear was doing, was limiting me.

When I started writing content, I was afraid (I still am!) of people not being interested in what I had to say. Of my voice not being worthy of attention. Or of just being boring. And you know what? Maybe some of what I write is a bit boring. But it doesn't matter. Because I enjoy the process! I love writing, and creating content, and possibly helping others in the process.

I make a point of doing things that scare me (within reason, of course. I don't advocate for risky, dangerous behaviour). I've turned courage into my comfort zone. Facing fear head-on is what helps me grow as a person.

Although humans are creatures of habit, we have the power to create new habits. Create that new habit. Make it a habit to step outside of your comfort zone. Make growth your new habit. Don't let your fear of the unknown rule you and keep you caged in a mental prison. Push those self-imposed boundaries. Take chances. Become more.

Today marks the last part of the waning crescent lunar phase. Tomorrow we have a new moon. Use this time to shed your self-doubt, and get yourself ready to reach for new things, and grow, just like the moon.

So go ahead and do it. Do it today. Do that one thing that scares you. You won't regret it.

Thank you for reading.