Down, Down, Deeper and Down

This number was a classic by Status Quo released in 1974 and it neatly sums up how our newly elected Prime Minister and his Chancellor see the medium term future for UK PLC.? It is therefore no real surprise that their Election Manifesto was brief and lacking any conviction.? Their defenders will say that the announcement of the election date caught them all off guard but that is a very lame excuse and you have to be naive in the extreme to believe that they had prepared a detailed plan designed to restore UK economic growth.? They are, however, now ‘In Full Control of the Purse Strings’ and with a fairly strong mandate from the Electorate to Govern.? We must all therefore hold our breath, take SKS’s ‘doom and gloom’ on the chin and wait for this alleged nightmare of a Budget to unfold as Halloween approaches.

I am indeed fascinated that the presentation of the Budget will take place the day before Halloween.? We have already been warned by The Labour Chancellor of the Exchequer Rachel Reeves, that there will be lots of ‘Tricks’ and very few ‘Treats’, primarily because the alleged ‘Black Hole’ in the UK’s Public Finances is so much higher than the figures that were readily available for scrutiny in the Treasury’s Books prior to the General Election.? Unfortunately for Rachel Reeves and the Labour Party we cannot really take this statement seriously without irrefutable evidence, as such a damning indictment of this magnitude, undermines the status and purpose of both The Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR) and The Institute for Fiscal Studies.

Of course it is not unusual for any new Government to blame the previous Administration for the current state of the Nation’s Finances but, in this instance, someone or somebody is not telling the whole truth and the Electorate really does deserve a full explanation before the presentation of next month’s Budget.? From my angle I haven’t heard anything to suggest that there was a ￡20billion Bermuda Triangle Style Black Hole in ‘The Government’s Financial Books.? The Case for the Prosecution has also been somewhat diluted by Rachel Reeves eagerness to spend ￡10billion of tax payers money, at a stroke, in order to settle some protracted Public Sector pay demands.

Perhaps the state of finances in Western World Governance is, by definition, yet another modern day example of a Bermuda Triangle, especially since the beginning of the COVID Pandemic, where huge amounts of taxpayer money have disappeared down that proverbial Black Hole starting with the Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) scandal followed by Furlough and the issuance in billions of open-ended Bounce Back Loans.? These disasters were followed by Migration – illegal and legal – or should I wash my mouth out and say economic migrants and genuine refugees fleeing persecution.? All of this borrowing has of coarse created what can only be described a Mirage of Illusionary Economic Growth that has been driven by lies, damn lies and statistics, a strategy that is common place in the Elite Corridors of Power.? No wonder therefore that we are now beginning to witness unrest both domestically and globally, and not just from The Proletariat.? I have not even yet factored in to my observations the cost of fighting the wars in Ukraine and in the Middle East, where conflict appears to be heavily promoted by despots with a heavy religious bias who crave power with little or no regard or indeed desire for an early and peaceful solution.

Staying on script, we can therefore look forward with some horror to Rachel Reeves ‘Sleight of Hand Budget’ where I can guarantee there will be no White Rabbits or Turtle Doves.? It is only the pound in your pocket, to coin a well worn phrase by Harold Wilson, which is going to fly into the Public Coffers along perhaps with the occasional Rolex Watch, as the Artful Dodger picks a pocket or two, and covertly play mind games with anyone who has had the audacity to actually save some funds for their retirement.? Watch my lips. ?I will say this only once. There will be no increases in Taxation and National Insurance for The Working Man or should I now say The WOKING PERSON - because we are not allowed to reference single genders anymore - and there will be no increase in VAT.? To the untrained eye that doesn’t leave much scope for raiding our pockets but don’t be fooled.? The more devious amongst us will note that there remains huge scope to con the General Public, whilst staying within the agreed parameters of their words in the Manifesto.

We have already been told by the Prime Minister that our Public Finances are worse than worst, so much so, that Labour probably needs to re-record their ‘Things Can Only Get Better’ Tony Blair’s Pre-Election Theme Tune and release ‘Things Can Only Get Worse Before They Get Even Worse’.? One just needs to blame it all on those dreadful TORIES, a statement that does of course hold some credence, and mustn’t forget the CONDEM Coalition Government that took office after the defeat of Brown Finger at the height of The Global Financial Crisis.? Gordon Brown not only decimated our Gold Reserves but he also left the Public Finances in DIRE STRAITS so welcome therefore to the brave new world of The STARMAGGEDDON Budget which will, refreshingly, be the first Budget to be delivered by a female but it will also emphasise Sir Keir STALIN’S left leaning tendency towards Communism.? This trend to Communism will probably be endorsed whole heartedly by some in the Media like the BBC which comedian Jim Davidson has frequently referred as an appropriate acronym for ‘Bring Back Communism’.? So what do we really think could be in RACHEL ‘DECEIVE’S’ Reeves inaugural Budget, where the percentage rates currently applied to Income Tax, National Insurance and VAT will definitely not change? ??

I would not therefore rule out any of the following announcements, and in no particular order, that could be announced to help improve the UK’s Public Finances. Some of these are of course a given.

Raise the limit on increases in Council Tax from 5% to 10% on the lower bands and, perhaps, an even more draconian rise for the highest bands. This will help to plug the gaps in the Social Care Funding.

Restrict Tax Relief on Pension Contributions to the basic rate of Income Tax

Freeze indexation on all income tax allowances where higher rate tax applies

Raise excise duty by 10p a litre on all fossil fuels – and perhaps more on Diesel. These measures, along with the heavily brokered Windfall tax on those nasty integrated Oil Companies to fund Ed Stone’s Green Agenda

Raise the sin taxes on Smoking, Wines and Spirits and perhaps the re-introduction of tax on Betting because you can just about bet on anything these days.

Re-appraise the annual rate of tax applied to second homes, driven by valuation and/or capital gain

Introduce a tourist tax for visitors to the UK Cities in line with a rate that we have to pay when we visit European Cities. Pro European SKS will like this alignment with the European Union

Increase tax relating to all forms of Airline Travel and especially Business Travel.

On a positive note, the Government could hi-jack a REFORM proposal abolishing income tax payments up to ￡20,000 for low earners because if they have any real desire to reduce unemployment, such a move would encourage those couch potatoes who think they are better off not working back into employment

I am now therefore at ease with my conscience.? I voted to stay in the EU in order to fight the case for LEAVE but from within the framework of European Union and, latterly, I voted REFORM at the recent General Election.? Given the momentum behind the REFORM Party, the next opinion polls could well provide a wake-up call for this new Government.? They simply cannot ignore the siren calls of dissent as they could soon start to lose voters in the hundreds of thousands if not in the millions.? The number of Labour Party members has already collapsed since the General Election. Don’t even be surprised if some Labour MP’s in marginal constituencies seriously think about moving across to the REFORM Party.? The first by election, whenever it happens, may also provide an important litmus test for Stalin and Deceive. Financial Armageddon never ends well.

In summary, it doesn’t look like the Government is for turning on the Winter Fuel Payment to all pensioners.? They could probably have kept it and made it a taxable event and not ridden rough shod over all Pensioners especially as many MP’s last year allegedly received subsidies on average of around ￡2,500 to heat their second homes.? If they have serious designs on restoring some credibility with their voters, they could therefore consider sailing The Bibby Stockholm Barge upstream and mooring the vessel near to City Hall which is close to Tower Bridge.? The ever popular Labour Mayor of London, Sadiq Kahn, could then deploy a watching brief? over our Honourable Members as there must be enough accommodation on this boat which is also due to be shut down in January.?? It currently has 400 occupants and could therefore house most, if not all of those MP’s, who are in need of purchasing a second home.? This would save a lot of money and not just on MP’s heating allowances, would deploy a wasting asset that has cost the tax payer a lot of money and would also allow Parliament to sit and start a lot earlier as it would only be a twenty minute walk along the South Bank to The Palace of Westminster.? This move therefore has to be a Win Win for Cost Savings and for Productivity.

One could sum up this forth coming Budget with two lines form the lyrics of this Status Quo number

I have found you out you see; I know what you're doing, what you're doing to me

I will however sign off as per usual with four more highly appropriate Status Quo Numbers for SKS to mull over; ?‘What You’re Proposing?’ we will all have to ‘Roll Over and Lay Down’ and watch your Marxist Government try to take ‘What Ever You Want’ and its going to anything but 'Fun Fun Fun'.