Doughnuts Make Me Happy (But Not Joyful)

Doughnuts Make Me Happy (But Not Joyful)

Joy, Joy, Joy.

There is a doughnut shop not too far from my house. While I wish I never found it, every time I enter it, I smile. The doughnuts they make are the classic yeast rising doughnuts that are light as air and crusted in a light glaze. Biting into them brings back memories of the doughnut shop I visited when I was a boy on the way home from school.

I feel happy.

What I don’t feel is joy. This is not a criticism of doughnuts. Instead, eating doughnuts is a reminder that happiness is ephemeral. It comes, and it goes. Happiness is good. Enjoy it, but do not embrace it. (My waistline is a testament to the fact that I should never fully embrace doughnuts.)

What we seek in life is not happiness per se but joy. Joy is the feeling of goodness (okay, happiness) we feel when we are at our best. Joy emerges from the pleasure we take in doing what we like to do and are good at. For example, we can excel at a sport and take joy from it. But taking a longer view, joy comes from the enrichment we feel at pursuing a task, a job, a career that gives us pride.?

Affirmation

Deep joy comes from the pursuit of doing something that affirms our capacity to do better. The greatest joy comes from helping others, giving of ourselves to make the life of another better. If only for a short time. How we do this becomes the measure of we relate to others.

The joy that sustains us is the joy that comes from giving. It may come from giving ourselves to our work by committing our energies to something greater than ourselves. And it is in the giving that joy reaches its deepest richness. Joy comes from the love we express and the love in return we receive.

As we celebrate the notion of joy, it is important to frame it properly. The poet William Butler Yeats wrote,?“Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.”?A truism perhaps of Gaelic folks whose tradition is shaped by dark forces beyond their control. Joy sustains us in hard times, even when we have little to be happy about.

Life is not all joy, nor should it be, but if we focus on the enrichment part of joy will find a source that nurtures our spirit, the way a natural spring waters the ground around it.?

Not taken for granted

Joy is never a given. We must work at it, and in the working, we find that we encounter our true selves. The Buddhist philosopher Thich Nhat Hanh wrote,?“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”?Inherent joy indicates that you have found a level of enrichment. At the same time, recognizing that joy will give you happiness.

Joy is not a destination.

It is more a journey.

It is not one of pure happiness.

More of struggle.

Yet, in the pushing-and-pulling, we find our true selves.

Open. Ready. Able.

To help others.

And in doing so.

Ourselves.

First posted on Forbes.com 10.08.2021

+++

Looking for leadership and management fundamentals? Visit the?John Baldoni Library. Share with colleagues and clients.

Catch my LinkedIn Live show,?GRACE under pressure, Tuesdays and Thursdays 2 p.m. ET. Streaming on YouTube, Periscope and LinkedIn.

Catch my interview with my 100 Coaches colleagues Peter Bregman and Howie Jacobson.


No alt text provided for this image


Dorothy Dalton

Talent Management Strategist (CIPD) | Founder 3Plus | Inclusive Recruitment | HR Project Management | Anti-Bullying, DEI Champion | Career & Trauma Informed Coach | Trainer | Psychosocial Safety ISO 45003 |

3 年

John Baldoni “Joy is never a given” so true. Your post resonated in so many ways. Thank you.

Maya Hu-Chan

Best Selling Author, Keynote Speaker, Top Executive Coach, Award-winning Global Leadership Thinker.

3 年

John Baldoni I really appreciate this insightful article. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with a sense of humor and grace!

要查看或添加评论,请登录

John Baldoni的更多文章

  • Hit 'em Straight!

    Hit 'em Straight!

    My newest collection of poetry, Golf Lessons: Chips, Chunks and Cheers debuted this past week. In lieu a Sunday column…

    3 条评论
  • How Do You Define Success?

    How Do You Define Success?

    Catch this clip of Davin Salvagno explaining how to re-discover your purpose. Here's my full interview with Davin…

    2 条评论
  • How Kindness Can Transform Horror into Poetry

    How Kindness Can Transform Horror into Poetry

    Chief among the insights we gain from reading history is that what we read is often relevant to what we are…

  • Today Is Poetry Day!

    Today Is Poetry Day!

    “John Baldoni is not afraid to the illuminate the flaws of his own game for insights and laughs. After all golf is a…

    5 条评论
  • Five Ways to Empower Yourself

    Five Ways to Empower Yourself

    The other day, I was asked how I empower myself. It was a question I had not been asked before, but after a moment's…

  • The Mind Trap

    The Mind Trap

    Catch this clip of Hortense le Gentil talking about how we can become stuck within our own mind traps. Here is my full…

    1 条评论
  • Go Looking for Bad News

    Go Looking for Bad News

    One of the hardest things for senior leaders to solicit is bad news from the ranks. Mike Ullman, one-time CEO of…

    1 条评论
  • If The Pope Can Look for Laughs So Can We

    If The Pope Can Look for Laughs So Can We

    Of all the things you think the Pope should be doing – supervising the running of a global organization, greeting…

  • What We Learn When Women Lead

    What We Learn When Women Lead

    What struck journalist Julia Boorstin as interesting when researching her book, When Women Lead, was not how…

    1 条评论
  • Partnership: The 50-50 Split

    Partnership: The 50-50 Split

    Catch this clip of Chester Elton speaking about the secret to his long and fruitful business partnership with co-author…

    1 条评论

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了