DOUBTS

?It was a warm summer day, and the sun lit up New York sky. The city was chaotic as usual, and the car exhaust gas did nothing but worsen that stifling air, making it unbreathable. Even birds might think so, for they were wandering far and wide, searching for water, or for a tree in which to shelter. They flew in huge flocks, letting themselves be carried by polluted air and hot wind. Finally, a small flock spied safety: a huge garden, luxuriant with plants. They flew faster, then landed on soft grass. They heard a strange sound, like pouring liquid, and they followed it en masse, finding a little fountain from where really fresh water was gushing. They started pressing, shoving, pecking one another, each one wanting to drink more water than the other. One of them separated from the group, perching in a tree under which an Asian featured elderly lady was sitting, watching a lovely scene before her: her husband was doing strange exercises with their grandson, a child who looked a lot like her, but with some western traits. His eyes were almond-shaped, but dark green. His hair, even though black and short, was wavy. The child ran towards his grandmother.

??"Granny, granny! Grandpa is teaching me martial arts! Watch what I can do!"

He lifted his left leg and kicked three times at an invisible opponent, in perfect balance. Then, he sprawled on the ground and did a back flip, tucking himself into a little ball, after which he got up and bent at his hips, in a low position, with his right hand extended before him.

The lady goggled at him.

??"Really good! You will certainly become a great fighter!" she said, ruffling her grandson's hair, which remained a little messy.

??"Really? How long do you think it will take me to become a real martial arts expert?" he asked, eyes so wide they were almost perfectly western shaped.

The lady scratched her white-haired head, thoughtful.

??"It's depends on how much effort you put in your training, and above all, your heart".

??"My heart?" the child asked, not understanding.

??"Yes. If you want to become a perfect warrior, training isn't enough. Every fighter knows it, especially one in particular, the greatest of them all. Do you want me to tell you his story?" the woman asked, looking at her grandson.

The little boy clapped with enthusiasm. "Yes! I want to hear it!"

??"Then, come and sit on my lap!"

The grandson obeyed. Meanwhile, the grandfather had moved closer, sitting on the grass near his wife. It was obvious part of the child's western features must have come from him, because the man had nothing Oriental in his traits. He gave his wife a knowing look. The woman understood, smiled, and nodded. Then, she bent near her grandson, and whispered in a hoarse voice:

??"Now hold on, Akira. You are about to listen to the most amazing story ever told, a story about courage and determination".

It wasn't difficult for the little boy's fervid imagination, to reproduce the scene as though it were real. The images began to flow in his mind, clear, pristine, real, while the boy began living the story.

Time and scene were quite different from those of the little happy family we just left. The weather, above all, didn't seem springtime: the soft March sun barely warmed the city, a less chaotic one than New York, but that didn't mean it didn't match its beauty or lacked its history. Boston districts were almost desert, except when they were full of youngsters goofing off the sidewalks, in order to take a break from studying or going window-shopping. Come to think of it, at around five o'clock in the afternoon a large part of the population was still working, some of them in shops, trying to sell sometimes useless over-advertised products, some of them closed in an office, puffing over paperwork with a deadline and fiddling over ideas for a project to propose. However, some people found the time to do sport, either as a hobby, or sometimes only to relieve the stress cumulated during the day. "Sport & Fitness" gym was the most renowned in the city, always packed with people. It was very big, and it offered dozens of different sports, from aerobics to kick-boxing, from judo to personal training to lose weight. A little boy was running along the perimeter of the training hall in order to warm up. Lost in his thoughts, he bumped against someone. Just a second after, he heard a thud, which resonated everywhere in the room: the sound of something falling.

??"Hey!!!"

??"Sorry..." muttered the boy, looking up blushing.

It was a girl - a strange girl with amber eyes, whose slightly pointed face and dark-brown hair tied back in a ponytail, gave him a ferocious look.

??"Don't worry", she grumbled, continuing with a piercing look. The boy blushed even more, scared by that feline gaze. Then he started running again, this time watching where he was going.

The girl shook her head, turning it immediately to the door when she saw a completely bald middle-aged man passing, dressed in a kimono held at the waist by a black belt, and followed by young boys wearing his same uniform, only with different coloured belts. For a fleeting moment, the girl considered dropping the weights and joining the group, but then she decided it was a stupid thing to do, so she ended up staring with melancholic desire at those belts, until the last boy had not vanished into the other room, closing the door behind him. Only after that did the girl duck to pick up the weight she had dropped before. The strangest thing about her was her short, skinny body, which nonetheless didn't stop her from lifting up a ten kilo weight with extreme ease. Two power-lifters were looking at her in awe. She ignored them, concentrating on the exercise even more.

One...no effort at all, she continued. Two... three... four... five... she began feeling the effort. When she reached thirty, she felt her muscles stiffen slightly, but she was satisfied. Of course, for someone who wasn't used to it, lifting a ten kilo weight wasn't so easy, even for a girl with above-average strength, but she wanted to continue increasing those weights as much as she could, gradually more and learning her limits – slightly weary muscles wouldn't stop her. She continued her workout, striving more than she should. No, she wouldn't stop - she had a task to complete, and she would increase the training more and more everyday. After all, wouldn't that problem she had help her reach above-average strength? She went to the locker rooms, dressed up, and retrieved her bag. She exited, avoiding the usual giggling girls, contemptuous. She hated them, knowing they spent hours in a gym to lose "those extra pounds", thereafter overeating as much as they pleased, or to attract the handsome trainer, even at the cost of practicing a sport they weren't remotely interested in. She considered this a waste of time, money and an offense to those people for whom sport meant everything. As she walked by the hall taking big steps, she came across John, her coach.

??"See you on Thursday or Friday" she told him, waving at him "I have to cope with school and so much homework to do".

As she went out, a gust of wind caressed her sweaty face. She headed home feeling great, seeing as she could move her body better. She felt decidedly stronger! In fact, after three months of power-lifting, her muscle mass had increased, making her arms, legs and abs more resilient.

Just a little problem troubled her. After asking John about it, he had assured her not to worry. Maybe she would need to ask for advice from her parents, without telling them that she was concentrating on power-lifting more than postural training. Actually, she was sick and tired of doing it practically since she was born! She wanted to forget about all those little aches and pains, even though she knew she would always have to live with them. She had the right to feel alive, even if disabled. She hadn't chosen to be born this way, after all. Yes, there were people who went to the gym out of necessity more than choice.

As soon as she came back home, she had a shower, ate something and tried to study some philosophy, given that the next day there would be an oral test: the last one had been a disaster, and she certainly didn't want to repeat the experience. She went to sleep early at nine, something she hadn't done in years. Not even her brothers went to sleep that early! However, sleep didn't come. Being hyperactive, she had always suffered from insomnia, and what was worse, that little problem was troubling her. It was strange not worrying about an oral test, but something she thought was a thousand times more important. After having taken a nervous stroll in the dark, she went back to bed and thought about something great?"Come what may, tomorrow I'm sure I'll pass, and I will see this bloody problem through"?she thought, before falling asleep.

The next day she woke up before the alarm clock rang. She was used to waking up early now, and oddly enough, she felt as fresh as a rose. She showered, dressed up, had breakfast and studied before catching the bus. Her closest friends were there, but she didn't talk much, and during the trip to school she did nothing but study. Meanwhile, she began to feel tense. She didn't revise the last three pages well, and gave up. When she was called to sit for the oral test, she got up to face it. To her surprise, the teacher asked her very simple questions and she got a really good mark. Happily, she waited for her friends to finish, then they headed towards the canteen entrance together.

??"Congratulations, Elin! An A! You did great!"

??"Well, it was a piece of cake, Mary, didn't you notice? It wasn't this simple last time, and I didn't study that well".

??"And she didn't even ask you anything from the other book, like she did with the others!"

??"Yes, did you notice, Ami?" asked Elin, with a satisfied smile.

??"How lucky! Anyway, well done!"

??"Thank you, Jill! But on Tuesday there's another oral test. Did you study?"

Ami widened her pitch-black almond eyes, which Elin loved. How beautiful Oriental features were! "Don't tell me about Tuesday's oral test, please. I shudder at the mere thought! I will badger my ancestors with so many prayers that they won't even sleep in their graves!"

??"Ha! Ha! Ha! They are going to hate you for all eternity!"

??"Yeah! Hey, girls, what about studying together on Monday afternoon? You're all invited to my place, OK?"

??"Fantastic, Ami! I've never been over!" said Elin. She had moved from Philadelphia to Boston, changing school, too. She had known those girls for only two months now, but she hadn't had any problems being integrated; they had quickly become friends.

??"It's the right occasion to see it, then! By the way, where's Kelly? I haven't seen her since maths class".

??"She said we had to meet her in the library to help her with those damn expressions - she doesn't get them at all. Besides, she wanted to escape the oral test".

??"Very well, Ami, then let's get going!"

??"What enthusiasm, Elin, that A really boosted your spirits!"

??"People don't get A everyday, Mary, unless they are geeks like you!"

Before she could reply, Elin sprinted, feeling as light as a bird. Her parents would be delighted at the news! Speaking of news, how would they react when she gave them the bad one? Even worse, what would?her mother's?answer be? In these cases, her reactions always got her down, and sometimes she wouldn't comment at all...

??"Hey, Elin, what's wrong? Why did you stop?"

Mary's voice brought her back to reality. Yes, what was wrong? It wasn't like her to get upset for such a silly problem. Or, what if it wasn't silly?

??"Are you OK? Something wrong?"

??"No, nothing, Ami, sorry... let's go, shall we?"

They began walking again, however, judging by her friends' expressions, they weren't too convinced by her answer.