Double exposure: how SEN support delays have a huge impact on parents, too.

From EHCP wait times that exceed the legal 20-week window to four-year delays on child ADHD assessments, the percentage of UK students receiving timely interventions is at one of the lowest points since government records began.

It’s no surprise that these support delays have a huge effect on student emotional well-being, as well as their academic attainment. It’s so easy for feelings of frustration, anxiety and low self-esteem to take hold when you feel like you’ve been forgotten—

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…Those emotions sound familiar? You’re not alone.

Being a SEN parent is amazing, rewarding, and super-stressful when support is delayed. You navigate long waiting lists and delays and try to ensure access to learning, all while reassuring your child that things will improve soon... but who’s reassuring you?

Some parents describe it as getting up in the morning knowing they’ll get an email that knocks them down by lunchtime. Others struggle to advocate when they’re made to feel ‘difficult’ by some of the professionals in the system, and most describe an intense feeling of anxiety and emotional burnout.

And the real kicker is often the expectation we put on ourselves: even when faced with administrative delays that we can do nothing about, it’s so easy to feel like it’s you that’s failing, somehow.

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Work, balance, and difficult decisions

As families wait for support and assessment, their lives often need to adjust. This might look like…

·?????? Switching careers for flexible hours or less intensive workloads

·?????? Struggling to juggle work (or returning to work) with advocacy and support needs

·?????? Moving house to access more appropriate schools or care

·?????? Financial challenges—raising a child with additional needs may be more expensive than a raising neurotypical child

·?????? Taking on tutoring responsibilities, researching support to implement at home, or seeking out professionals who can provide interim support

·?????? Reduced time for self-care and social contact, leading to challenges maintaining relationships and friendships

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Why are we talking about this today?

The answer’s twofold. One, because we’re about to see a ‘complete recalibration’ in SEND policy in the UK. Advocating policymakers address parental challenges as part of this will build a more comprehensive support system that ensures families don’t end up paying the price for a system that can’t handle the load and struggles to intervene early.

And secondly, so many SEN parents have expert knowledge of where to look for support for the learners in their lives, but don’t know where to turn for support for themselves. But looking after your own mental health is just as valid and important. Here’s where you can find support, guidance and resources that understand what you need:

• Your local SEND Information, Advice and Support Service (SENDIAS). Every local council in the UK provides an independent service to offer information and support to families with SEN. They may also be able to link you up with some local parent support groups.
• IPSEA is the leading charity in the field of SEND law in England, and they can offer advice on securing the education your child is legally entitled to.
• The Council for Disabled Children have an online library of resources, practice guidance, a case law directory and toolkits for parents and professionals.
• SCOPE curates an online community of parents, as well as offers advice on where to find emotional support for parents of learners with disabilities and special educational needs. Sometimes you just need to talk to somebody else who gets it.
• Your personal healthcare providers can also play an important role in helping you manage low mood and anxiety, so reach out to your GP to get the ball rolling.

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SEN parents are superheroes—but you don’t have to go it alone all the time.

Here’s to a brighter future, where families get all the support they need. ??