The Double-Edged Sword of "No"

If you look through enough of my writing, I contradict myself. Sometimes, my opinion changes over time. Other cases, it's more that there's a reason why the advice is good and a time when the advice is bad. The word "no" as a power tool is one such situation of issues.

Know When to Say No - But Also, When to Say Yes

My ex-wife just told me a great customer service story. She lives in a very small town, and she has an issue working with certain types of people (loud, abrupt, aggressive). When she needs car work done, she's built a relationship with a very specific and very nice/caring/thorough/thoughtful service shop. They treat her extra special. But, they also don't do inspection stickers for cars.

She called and asked and they said no, because they don't do that. And then my ex wife called me in a bit of a panic and I recommended the only other shop in town I can vouch for, and she said they were mean to her one time. So much for that. I said to her that I had no other answers and maybe ask her friend who also lives in that town.

Meanwhile, the company who doesn't do that type of work called back. If she were willing to throw an extra $20 their way for their time, her techs would drive her car over to a place and get the sticker FOR her.

This Was (And Should Have Been) a No - But They Turned It Around

It's fair not to do certain services. It's equally fair to send the person elsewhere to find what they want. But this company likes my ex-wife as a customer. They like how she treats them. They appreciate their business relationship, and they want to earn even more of her business.

$20 isn't enough to cover labor, but it *IS* really inexpensive marketing. Because my ex-wife told me this story, I'll definitely use this company to service my car next time I need something. I'll tell anyone who asks me. I'll probably even call over and see if they need anything I know how to do. Because they took care of someone who needed some extra help.

Dr. No - The Flipside

I work with someone who says "no" first, almost out of reflex at this point. Whenever I've asked anything for several months and counting, her first answer is no. Usually, she uses about 300 or more words to say no. I think the only thing I dislike more than hearing "no" is reading a massive tome to get the gist that it's still no.

Unlike the story of the service business going out of their way to please my ex-wife, and earn a lot of delight, I've taken to saying, "Well, if we can avoid asking Dr. No, it would probably be a better deal." That's no way to operate a company, is it? Avoiding people. (Chief of Staff says: "no.") (Get it?)

My Best Guess

I think it's easier to see the value in satisfying an external customer than an internal customer. That's part one. Part two is that quite often, "No" is the right answer to questions inside businesses, especially if a "yes" means more drag, more time spent, work that falls outside of processes, etc.

But zero humans like to hear "no." Especially to an "exception" request. If it's urgent enough to bother someone with it, then maybe it's worth contemplating saying yes just for that exception. Naturally, this requires some thinking and consideration. A 20-minute "yes" is way easier than a "three week" yes, and that's important to weigh.

So maybe, we should think twice before we say no. Yes?

-- Chris...