Dose of sadness wrapped in the pack of celebration

Festivities hold an important place across all cultures and have been a part of our culture since time unknown. We start with the harvest festivals and close with New Year, hoping to have a joyful and prosperous year. Being brought up in a loud Indian household, we are taught that happiness is incomplete without celebrating with everyone else. Festivals are incomplete without family!

?This idea of shared happiness is engraved so deeply in us by our families that the bare thought of it alone, is scary. Our family is not the sole culprit. Pick up any holiday movie on any OTT platform, and we have the same script that outlines the loneliness that follows us when we are alone. These movies portray the same emotions i.e. being alone during a festival is synonymous with being ‘lonely’, ‘unhappy’, or ‘incomplete’.

?Disclaimer- Feeling alone and lonely are two distinct things. Being alone is attributed to the physical setting when there is no one around and loneliness is a psychological construct where the person feels distressed when their perception of their social needs is not met.

(If you want to know more about the difference, click on the following link https://www.dhirubhai.net/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6929375570073915392 and read on.)

Being alone during festivities can be a choice or a forced outcome. During the pandemic, a lot of us were forced to be alone and some of us felt lonely too. The pandemic is over (according to some experts) and so no social restrictions. This year all the festivities have been extra grand, putting extra pressure on people who are alone.

?Loneliness and Mental Health

?There are no Indian statistics for this, partially because it is almost taboo to be anything but positively joyous during this time. 38% of people experience stress during the holidays either due to lack of time or family gatherings, the financial pressure of gift-giving, and others according to a survey by the American Psychological Association. Similar findings were concluded by another survey on people with mental illnesses. 64% of them reported feeling worse during the holidays.

?Loneliness is a personal concept. Famously mentioning, one can be lonely in a crowd and not feel lonely when alone. I am not a festive person. I feel exhausted and burdened when I have to interact with more than 5 people in a day. Holidays are the worst for me. My family believes that until they’ve housed more than 20 people during a holiday, their holiday is incomplete. This is a nightmare for me. Forced small talk, fake smiles, dressing up, fake appreciation, more comparisons, and more judgment. I am generally labeled as a party pooper. I feel lonely here.

?Born and brought up in a big Punjabi family. Festivals are all about trips, parties, and decorations. For me, Diwali is a big deal. I meet all my cousins; we have celebrations that last for a week. We house all the guests. Our entire house lights up and I love it.

This year I am not with my family and I cannot travel. I am feeling left out. I am jealous of everyone who gets to enjoy this. My friends here celebrate it differently. They are more subtle. I feel lonely here even when I am with them. I miss my loud celebrations.

?Loneliness can stem from disliking the norm or being forced to miss out on the norm. Irrespective of the reasons, it affects us in the same way. Loneliness is as lethal as smoking 15 cigarettes in a day. Let us figure out a way to deal with it effectively.

1.?????Plan your day

Have some agenda for the day. For example, finishing up all the leftover movies or stocking up the fridge for the coming season. It can be anything. Having something planned helps in combating the dread that comes with feeling lonely. ?

2.?????Tune in to technology

A video chat, understandably, cannot replace the efficacy of face-to-face conversations but something is better than nothing. Schedule WhatsApp, skype, or zoom calls to feel more connected.

3.?????Reach out to others

This is a tough time. Reach out to people who have similar feelings. Connect with ones that are alone during festivals. There is a song “lonely together” by Avicii that elucidates loneliness perfectly.

4.?????Be gentle with yourself

It is very easy to be judgmental when one feels lonely. We are always in a rush to get over this feeling and when we struggle we become harsh with ourselves. Take special care of yourself, and be good. Take out time to do things that make you feel better.

Eg, take a relaxing bath, curl up with a good book, rekindle an old hobby or learn something new, cook your favorite meals, etc.?

5.?????Be real

Sometimes loneliness roots in not matching societal standards. Social media and Karan Johar movies also contribute to it. It is displayed that the absence of a romantic partner or a loved one during festivities opens a void in us and makes us unhappy. It is important to remember that everyone’s life is different and we should set our expectations accordingly. Let’s not judge ourselves through the happiness scale of our neighbors. We build our scale.

It is okay to feel everything good or bad. But that doesn’t mean that we have to stay stuck in the loop of dread and loneliness. Take some action that reduces the intensity of the feelings and helps us envision clearly.

Celebrate the season with a whole heart. You are not alone, and even if you think you are alone, that is not miserable. Contact our customer wellness managers on our toll-free number 1800-833-8747, visit us at www.transformhappily.com or reach us at [email protected] to be a little less lonely together.

?Let us transform you, happily!