The Dos and Don'ts When You’re Feeling BLUE-ish…!

I just stabbed myself, by accident, with my tweezers while taking care of some much needed manscaping. I haven’t started bleeding yet, but I’m anticipating a nasty little scar. Ouch. I’ll explain the relevance later…but it really hurt and really irritated me.

Speaking of anticipation and irritation…I don’t know about you, but right now, I’m going through it. I’m slowly transitioning from HR Advisor/Consultant to building a new “Intuitive Coaching” practice. Sometimes I think I’m crazy… and other times, I’m so proud of myself. For more information on Intuitive Business Coaching, click HERE.

Basically, as an Intuitive Business Coach, I offer unlimited coaching and partner with persons of influence (aka Entrepreneurs, CEOs, Influencers, and Celebs) to recognize their behavioral responses and re-frame their present, so they can sleep soundly at night, AND build a better legacy and future for not only themselves, but everyone around them.

I digress…slightly.

Right now, though, I am scared and I am anxious. I’m scared I won’t find clients. I’m anxious because if I don’t find more clients, then my standard of living could be affected. Also, why am I so exhausted? Have you ever noticed that while “going through it” you always seem to be more exhausted than when you are “living for it!” That’s because it takes far more energy to “control” the emotions and overcome adversity than being “in the flow” with them.

Building a practice is not easy. I wanted to make the transition smooth and efficient over the next 18-24 months. Thanks to the Universe/God/Infinite Intelligence hearing my requests, however, they have definitely conspired to make that happen sooner rather than later…and that stresses me out a bit…or a lot.

I know I’m not the only feeling this way...right?

Have you ever noticed though, if you look on social media, everyone is living their best life. I mean, what is up with that??? That definitely does not help me.

This came up in a recent discussion with my family last week. I mean, no one wants to read sad information over and over again, but if someone’s going through a challenge or a loss of some kind and they post about it, have you ever noticed the lovely and overwhelming outpour of support and encouragement? People live for other people’s adversity and challenges. Interesting, right?

Why is that? I believe this is because 1) we are all voyeurs; 2) we all love watching someone else experience challenges (thank you reality tv); and 3) it’s a reminder that we are all human and we all face loss and adversity at some point or another. It’s how we get through it that makes all the difference, right? It’s our graceful approach that shows the world and reminds us of who we really are. 

I’m not only calling out everyone (even myself) for only posting their best lives, selfies, and smiles, I want to challenge people to post in good times and in bad, for better or for worse…we will still love you. ( I promise!)

So yeah, while you are in a place of turmoil, it definitely doesn’t help when you see your cousins in Paris, friends in Maui, and so on and so forth. Don’t mistake me, I’m super happy for my friends and I’ll be traveling soon, too, but when you are feeling like this…it’s like, come on!

So, if money is tight, if you are stressed, going through a little rough patch, or if you are not in your optimal spot…listen up!

Do #1: Ask for Help (Easier said than done!)

I’ve noticed that if you’re anything like me, asking for help or support during a challenging time is not that easy. I usually pin point a few of my bestest friends. These include those who won’t judge, who won’t rush to providing advice, and who will listen with your best interest at heart. No matter who it is, it’s still tough to admit you are going through something. Now, don’t mistake me at all. I am not saying asking for help is weakness. In fact, I believe it’s the opposite. It shows a determination and a sense of self-worth to “handle” the situation and do something about it.

Do #2: Recognize that everything will seem a bit harder, a bit tougher, and a bit heavier.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re sick, the world just seems that much more challenging and ugh, thinking about all that work piling up, all those to-do’s, all the stuff that kids are doing after-school, and everything feels like such a pain? It’s the very same when you are in a place of adversity or turmoil. Awareness, as I’m always telling everyone I know, is the majority of the battle. If you are aware and acknowledge, perhaps it will make this easier…and/or more manageable.

(That’s why my stabbing myself with the tweezers seemed even more irritating to me. I’m like, really, anything else???)

Do #3: Create or re-work your Routine!

Routines are important! When you are down and out…or when you are searching for a new job, or just a little sad, I find that with my clients (including myself), it is necessary to remind them the importance of creating a routine. Either continuing with your previous routine, re-working your current routine, or creating a new one, all options work. Go to the gym. Work on your resume. Network with a few Linked-In connections. Dinner at 6pm, etc… And, don’t spend too much time on any one thing. Let your ADHD be your guiding light!

Do #4: This a time for action and productivity – even though it doesn’t feel like it!

This is a tough one. This week, since I’m down, I have had moments of extreme productivity and then moments of extreme laziness. Both are necessary to push through all that is going on right now. I can tell you the moments of “action” feel so much more fulfilling than ever while the moments of laziness sometimes spark inspiration and/or motivation. The two opposing concepts are necessary to push through and getting to the other side.

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Don’t #1: Don’t be so hard on yourself! Stop beat yourself up!

Remember, this is a time for action and not necessarily a time for reflection. If you are choosing now to reflect upon why you continue do to X, Y, and Z…you will be harder than usual on yourself. If you’re anything like me, you are generally pretty hard on yourself, so now might not be the best time. Or, if you must reflect on the reasons perhaps you left the job or lost the job, then focus on what you will do differently the next time around. Stop beating yourself up! That will not help anything! Trust me!

Don’t #2: Don’t deny yourself “self-care” or “me-time.”

You are in a pickle right now. Despite what I’ve just told you in the aforementioned #1, you are definitely being hard on yourself and definitely beating yourself up. Even though you might not feel like spending money on yourself right now, you can find cost efficient and/or FREE ways to take better care of yourself. Walking meditations or just walks are lovely and do not cost you anything. Massages can also be cost efficient. Take some time for you. Go to an arcade! Relax a bit! And, if shopping is therapy for you (and money isn’t tight), then do a little bit of that, too!

Don’t #3: Don’t feel guilty about watching Netflix, Amazon, etc…!

Getting your mind off of the very thing you are anxious about is just what the doctor ordered. I’m serious about this. Take the time to distract your thoughts and re-purpose your anxiety into that new psychological thriller. Find something that puts your mind and heart at ease for a couple hours. You are going through something and distraction is sometimes necessary for the process. Don’t worry, your concerns will still be there afterward. You might just find inspiration or productivity comes from the most mundane scenes or images you never would have otherwise discovered.

Don’t #4: Don’t make any major life decisions!

It’s exactly what I tell people after an intuitive or mediumship reading. Do not make any major life decisions while feeling numb or this way. Do not operate heavy machinery. You know, things like that. When you are not optimal, it might seem like you are sooo clear on something, but in actuality, you are most likely coming from a place of fear (or lack) and not love and strength. Heed my advice and take a beat prior to resolving any ginormous life or death decisions. You will be glad you did!

There are lots of great resources out there online or elsewhere, too!

My book, “How I Learned To Smile From The Inside” is a great resource, too. It’s for anyone who has lost their smile, for any reason (whether temporarily or long-term). It reminds us that you can heal from anything. Within the book, I share with you 5 harrowing stories and the similar process in which I found himself for each situation. I also share tips and tricks and the reality of each stage of “grief” or as I refer to it, “healing.” I developed the S.M.I.L.E. METHOD of Healing.

You may have heard of the 5 stages of loss by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross, but have you heard of the 5 stages of healing? Remembering and acknowledging the five stages below when healing from loss (any loss) might just save you some, just a little, grief and time. Click HERE for more information on my book. Be ready for an incredible journey filled of love, laughter and the mysterious gifts and learnings enveloped in the healing process.

So, there you have it. We all feel down sometimes. Hopefully, this article has helped you just a wee bit. I hope so.

Final Thoughts:

1 - Always remember to keep breathing. Sometimes just taking a few deep breaths is very helpful. 

2 - My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims of Hurricane Dorian.

3 - If you are interested in Intuitive Business Coaching or Intuitive & Spiritual Coaching, let me know. This link will take you to the Page to sign up!

4 - If you would like to schedule a time with me to discuss, click HERE!

5 - Or, if you would like to refer someone you know to me, I’m happy to provide a little referral fee because we can always use a new Amazon package.

The End.