"The Doom Statues" - chapter 14

Lois receives the phone call from Lenny before they were even expecting him to arrive. On this point, she’s kind of impressed by his punctuality for a change. Of course, he happens to be prone on some front lawn up the road at that moment, waiting on an ambulance, and he’s relating the horrific news of the crash. She and Ben hop in their car and race up there as well, compelled by who knows what kind of motivation leading humans to act in this manner. They arrive just seconds ahead of the EMS squad, roaring up the block, and it’s only at this moment that the nearby homeowners even notice what’s happening in their yard. The missus somewhat hysterical and the man of the house looking bored, as they tumble out of the front door to inspect this scene.

Lenny’s timing is abysmal, it goes without saying — though typical of him, Lois concedes. After they follow the ambulance down to the county hospital, and stick around a couple hours awaiting a prognosis, however, this is where the serious questions begin. Or maybe there would be a question, for most normal folks. If Lenny didn’t make a habit of this sort of thing, constant chaos, and if she and Ben didn’t need this income source so badly right now.

As expected, both of his legs are busted, and he’s suffered a mild concussion. The doctor says he’s lucky not to have thoroughly messed up his spine, or cracked his head wide open in the absence of a helmet. These he wryly attributes to Lenny’s having endured countless prior injuries and possibly therefore possessing some instinct for the best way to roll. Plus, he admits, a fairly athletic physique, due to working outdoors all the time.

Still, Lenny’s not going to be working on his feet again anytime soon. As his older sister, part of her wants to hang out here now, too, but that’s just not possible. Half of her feels a genuine tough love aspect at play, telling herself — and him, when he asks — that this is what he deserves, and might do him some good. The other half of her is just going through the motions and forcing herself to say this. So it is that, running hours behind schedule already, with the car already packed, she and Ben say their goodbyes, bound for the artist’s residency straight from the hospital.

They run into Jeremy in the parking lot on their way out, however. He’s received a call from them and Lenny both, plus a few other random friends who already heard the news. He tells them that Lenny was cracking up on the phone, quoting that the doctor had said, “you bonked your head pretty good, there,” and seemed in great spirits.

“He told me the doctors said it was one of these fluke occasions that wearing a helmet would’ve killed him,” Jeremy says, “something about the angle of impact or whatever…”

“Oh Lenny’s full of shit!” Lois seethes, shaking her head yet again, at a different aspect of this debacle, “what kind of doctor would tell his patient that? And how would they prove such a thing, anyway?”

As they drive off, Jeremy heads up to visit his uncle. In this tiny, fourth story room, Jeremy doesn’t mention the helmet angle hypothesis, and doesn’t have to, as Lenny chortles and repeats it himself anyway, like a boast. Even while feeling he shouldn’t, and has heard this already, Jeremy can’t resist laughing along regardless. Maybe some of Lenny’s choices were questionable, but you had to kind of admire the guy’s relentless, unflappable cheer.

Even when said cheer flies in the face of everything rational. Lenny’s insisting that he’ll be on his feet in no time, if Harry can hold the fort for a couple of weeks. As it so happens, the doctor is breezing through and overhears part of this, shakes his head and says there’s no way in hell this is happening. That Lenny’s looking at more like a month and a half if he’s lucky, maybe two. And Jeremy’s no expert on this matter, but he’s pretty certain which point of view he believes.

Over the course of this morning, the sky has turned grey, and now drizzly. Though aware that his parents will be arriving in moments if they haven’t already, and will surely break the news to Kidwell right off the bat, somehow Jeremy feels a responsibility in this arrangement, and believes he should call up there to explain. That’s not the only thing occupying his mind, however.

As he returns home and stomps around this gloomy old house alone, one where he is both brought down by and yet finding comfort in the dreariness, therefore abstaining from turning on any lights, he’s thinking about his job stocking shelves at that department store. Yes he has a great gig there, an excellent track record, and is pulling down good money. But that one hadn’t been particularly hard to come by, and he could surely find a similar job just about anywhere. Or he could even go back to the same one, if leaving on good terms. Truth is, though, he is somewhat burned out on that place — plus, let’s get real, this potential for joining everyone at the artist’s residency has been gnawing at him all along. So it is he’s calling up Kidwell, who, as expected, has already heard the news anyway. Though sounds positively elated when Jeremy suggests he could possibly take over that caretaker’s role, if Kidwell can wait out a two weeks’ notice at his current job.

“Absolutely! Absolutely. Welcome aboard!” Kidwell tells him.

No sooner is he off the phone, then, that he dials Emily’s number next, and explains the latest to her. This time around she does sound a little more excited than when he’d broke the news about his parents and Lenny coming. She tells him with a smug little laugh that she always knew he would wind up joining her at Otherwise.

“Yeah…I guess there’s no escaping your fate,” he deadpans.

“Yeee-ep,” she tells him, “you hit the nail on the head, there, buddy.”

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