Don't Worry Be Happy!

This song was played at the funeral of one of our guests living with dementia who had been on a MindforYou specialist holiday with his wife. As I listened to the tune and watched the photos of him, including a couple on his last MindforYou holiday in the Peak District, it took me back to the fun and relaxation all eight of us had on holiday on that first week of freedom from lock down on July 19th 2021.

Holidays are so, so important. I have lots of wonderful memories and photos of holidays as a child, with friends and with my own family. The pandemic and lock down certainly made people realise that we have taken for granted our ability to go on holiday whenever we want to wherever we want. Sadly for people living with dementia and their families, going on holidays becomes too big a worry and becomes a thing of the past far sooner than they expect.

What a shame I hear you say, but when you realise that 50% of family carers spend 100 hours a week looking after their loved one living with dementia and save the UK society 11 billion a year from additional health and social care costs we all need to stop and say how can we help these amazing people.

Since May 2015 MindforYou have run over 160 specialised dementia holidays throughout the UK for these incredible self-less unpaid carers and their loved ones. So, in the words of the song, what is it that makes us say “Don’t worry Be Happy” and go on holiday with somebody living with dementia?

Well for me it’s all about the planning and accepting that in the words of the song “In every life we have some trouble”. I know it’s not a place many of us want to go, but recognising the challenges somebody has or could have on holiday and building this into your planning on where to go, who with and how to make them comfortable in their new surroundings is key.

I have learnt lots of things over the last 7 years that help people continue to holiday independently or with additional support and here are my top 5 things for people to consider.

1.The Benefits of a holiday for the person living with dementia

These include stimulation through new experiences, creating new experiences together, reminiscing together and engaging in relaxing activities. However, for me, the most important is the enhanced self-confidence we see people gain through doing these new things with different people in a new environment.

Staying at home doing the same things with the same people can create boredom, isolation and depression!

2. The importance of selecting the right place to stay

For me, it needs to be somewhere homely that somebody with dementia recognises as the place they are staying. For me it is somewhere that has a living room, kitchen, an ensuite and a simple layout.

Hotel rooms are not a familiar place for most people. Unless we are teenagers, we don’t spend our lives in a bedroom. It’s the living room and kitchen that most people living with dementia recognise as home. So, for me it’s about renting a holiday cottage with some other people you know or who are in a similar position and sharing the day to day routine tasks.

3. It’s not just bricks and mortar that makes somewhere home

Think about things that make your home familiar to your loved one. For our oldest guest with dementia it was having a bag of fudge in the living room. For others it’s been listening to their favourite music, having the newspaper to read after breakfast or having their bible on their bedside table.

On one holiday we even bought a specific brand of Yorkshire tea because it had a reassuring smell for our guest with dementia.

It’s about asking and listening and making conscious choices to help reassure our guests.

4. Have a solution in place if your worst fears happen on holiday

Over the years the biggest fear our guests have had is incontinence on holiday. This is of course distressing if it happens, but with some forward planning you can have a waterproof mattress cover, use drynites to protect the sheets, ask for an extra set of bedding to be available, take extra sets of pyjamas, make sure you have washing powder and access to a washing machine.

We have encountered others’ concerns and with some thought and discussion you can put things in place so if they do happen they don’t spoil your holiday.

5. Flexibly plan what you are going to do on holiday

It’s easy to get excited when you are in a new place and plan to do too much. Plan your travel carefully and have a very relaxed start to your day and make sure the places you visit are dementia friendly and that staff understand and can help if there are any issues.

We always call places ahead of time to understand their accessibility and enquire about any specific requests for our guests. Most people have some personal experience of dementia and are more than willing to help. Infact, you may even find there are reduced prices for both of you.

I’d recommend that you go ahead and plan that holiday, seize the day and “Don’t Worry Be Happy” because as Mary Angelou said “Success is loving life and daring to live it.”

Finally, Donations Really Matter!

We passionately believe that everyone has the right to have a fabulous holiday and making a donation can make that happen for someone who may really need it!

Our holidays will allow our guests to rediscover their independence, make new memories and make life easier by fighting social isolation.

With your kind donation you can help people with Dementia, from all backgrounds, to access a holiday.

By making a donation today, we can use that kindness to help out someone who really needs a holiday who might otherwise not be able to afford it.

If you would someone else to benefit from a future holiday with MindforYou, and you’d like to pay it forward please click this link: https://mindforyou.co.uk/donate-to-mindforyou/