Don't worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try

The challenges are growing every day. We are, as a society, finding ways how to overcome them and adjust to the pace of today. Going back to the past and comparing is a waste of time, and both older and younger people are very aware of it. When speaking about the role of women, we can say that nowadays incomparably more is expected of them. Is it easier for them? It is not. Do they manage to successfully perform the various roles they have? Every woman will tell you that she is not satisfied and that she would like to have more time to pay greater attention to each of the roles.

Today, the term leadership is often used for excellence and success. When it comes to women, I would add the word support. Why? Because women have always been and will remain a support to everyone. Apart from being a support, women are supposed to be flawless mothers, daughters, devoted wives, sisters, great friends, successful in their work… They must perform each of the mentioned roles simultaneously and very efficiently. Although each of us wants to really enjoy all the mentioned roles and be perfect, the pressure is enormous.

In this article, I will briefly tell you the story of my growing into, I can freely say, a self-aware woman. It is a process that has been and is still going on. You know the old saying – One lives and learn.

In coaching, I like to use the term and tool Wheel of Life to scale and measure where we are in certain area, on a scale of 1 to 10. The point is not to be at the highest position at all times and in every segment (10), but to keep your life in balance. And balance itself is a challenge.

Women are often in dilemma, and sometimes under pressure from the surrounding, as if they have to choose between their career and the role of a mother. It is definitely not easy to reconcile these two roles, where society may think that the role of the mother is paramount in a woman’s life. Sometimes it happens that you think you are not good enough as a mother or that you do not achieve the business results that are set before you. Right at the moment when I felt that I was at the crossroads of life, when my thoughts were greatly divided because of that, coaching came on the scene. The essence of coaching is to help us identify the segment we want to work on. It often happens that work on that one segment starts the whole wheel of life.

The challenge we also face is how to live in accordance with our values, and by values I mean those such as courage, excellence, thoroughness, analyticity and persistence. These are the key values and serve as the compass in our lives.

You know, we burden ourselves with failure - "What if I fail?" My message is - Don't worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try. We have all fallen many times. It is not unfamiliar to anyone. These falls teach and give us the strength to continue. We used to fall many times while learning how to walk. The same thing happened while learning to ride a bike, rollerblades ... We were falling. We couldn’t do these things flawlessly from the first time. Did that stop us from moving on? No. It did just the opposite.

In coaching, the focus is always on the positive and on the future. We have to rule out the negativity we are surrounded with. I used to ask myself “Why me?” and “Why do such things happen to me?” I believe all of us have the same questions sometimes. Assuming the role of a mother was the first step in my true maturing while taking responsibility for raising my two daughters gave an extra weight. Of course, there are many other identities such as: daughter, wife, sister, banker, friend. I have been learning from each role because each role has its own charm. It was crucial for me to recognize the limits to which I wanted to go to. Being support to everyone is rewarding, but on the other hand very tiring. It is important to know when it is time to say "No", both to the surrounding and to your loved ones. That was my biggest challenge, because somehow it was always implied that I could do anything. I believe most readers would agree with me.

Although every woman comes to the point when she enters this "program" and somehow wraps herself in the ball of responsibility that each of the role carries. I am happy to say that it is possible to find the way out. One way is coaching. Education in that field, international recognition by the institutions specialized in this field as well as self-improvement helped me a lot. After realizing that I was much more prepared, wiser and stronger than I used to be, I decided to work with individuals and teams. In a way, I recognized how much of a support I could be for others.

By creating various coaching programs such as I, as a female leader, Male-female leadership, Coaching Competencies for Managers, I realized that I can offer a lot to the business environment, considering my 30 years in the banking industry. For example, in the Male-female leadership training, the focus was on how to learn from each other - women from men and men from women. For example, women are better at multitasking, they are analytical, they adapt more often and easier, they are patient and have a tendency towards long-term planning. On the other hand, we can learn from men how to be more confident in leadership, how to improve our self-confidence and to find less excuses when we achieve success (I often hear from women: "I succeeded, but I was lucky.", “I couldn’t have done it without ... “)

Coaching is a great tool that, along with the right coach, provides support on the path of improving knowledge, skills and competencies, all with the aim of achieving the results and goals you have set for yourself. I have recently finished education from the field of somatic coaching at an accredited school in London. Few people here know what somatic coaching really is and what its benefits are. As its name suggests, it comes from the Greek word soma meaning living body as a whole, this coaching applies to both the body and the mind, soul and emotions that affect it. I am currently working on creating the program with plenty of elements of somatic coaching. Its name is Presence and Orientation and it will be realized next year. The results are extraordinary: a healthier mind, body and soul.

However, I am writing this article more from the mentor's point of view due to my rich personal and professional experience. The mentor has a different role from the coach because the mentor approaches things from a different perspective, more like a teacher, given the practical and theoretical knowledge. I know it may sound strange to some but the time I have devoted to coaching education has really opened up new horizons and insights, allowed me to look at things from a different perspective and really improve the quality of my life. Women who have committed to individual coaching sessions with me, various group coaching programs and trainings have grown and achieved great results. Simply, when you are satisfied with yourself, you shine and spread positive energy.

I would also like to encourage all successful women to dedicate themselves to mentoring, to inspire other young women in their surrounding. Show your support to women around you by showing them that they are important and reminding them of their strength. I would like to highlight that it is not necessary to wait for the right moment. The right moment to work on yourself is always now! You have to make yourself a priority!

Being a successful woman nowadays is really a serious accomplishment and it motives us to be even stronger. Women are unstoppable and our influence can and must be greater. Perfection does not exist. Indulge in life's journey and do everything to be more important to yourself, because only that way we can be the best version of ourselves!

3 TIPS FOR WOMEN:

1. Start with what you have. Don’t wait for the right moment. Start now!

2. Increase your self-confidence, be aware of your qualities, strengths, virtues and abilities. Find out who you are, where you want to go. You have so much to give to the world, each of us has. Make taking care of yourself a priority!

3. Connect with a coach or mentor, someone who can help, encourage, and give you an insight into perspective.