“Don’t Wait For Feedback to Come to You”

It was my first performance review in Corporate America. My manager sat me down in a windowless conference room and handed me a blue folder. She would be back in 5 minutes after I had a chance to read through the feedback. I nervously opened the folder as the door closed.

Feedback? What feedback?

Because for the last year, each time I did ask for feedback, the response was the same:  

"You are doing fine, just stay the course.”

After a big presentation. After a small meeting. After the big product launch, after a small claims glitch I fixed. After a potentially huge issue where we almost didn't have enough holiday kits to service our biggest customer. Any size problem I had handled, and handled well, nothing. Not my manager, no one, gave me any feedback.

"You are doing fine, just stay the course.”

Except when I read through the contents of the blue folder that afternoon. On three sheets, mini paragraphs lined up, all anonymous, my first dose of "360" feedback. Some nice things. Some okay things. And ouch, some really not so nice things. People actually put this stuff in writing?

 I sucked back some tears as my manager breezed back in and slipped into the chair across from me.

 "All good?" She smiled.

All good. Except where was all this feedback one year ago?

 Many of us complain that we don’t get feedback. Not enough feedback, outdated feedback, generic feedback, the wrong feedback. Or the "You are doing fine" feedback.

 So don’t wait for feedback. Go and get it:

 Ask For It. You must proactively ask for feedback. Don't wait for a mid-year conversation or year end to ask how you are doing. If you are scared to ask and receive feedback, think about this: if an entire year passes by without any feedback, you have stalled career progress. What got you here, won’t get you there- and feedback is key. A strong people leader will give you unsolicited feedback, and you keep asking for it.

Be Specific. So you ask for feedback and never get any.  Or it's generic. Try to be specific. You just updated the Supply Chain Leadership Team on a big project. As you are walking out, ask your manager, "How do you think that meeting went?" If your manager mumbles a “went fine,” get even more specific. "When the VP asked her question, I believe the response I gave clarified potential issues with the delivery date. What do you think?" Drill down to something specific you want feedback on; part of asking for feedback is also being self-aware. We generally know when we nailed something, and when we stumbled, so zone in on specific moments.

Don't Rely On Your Manager. For whatever reason, you can’t seem to get the feedback you want from your manager. She doesn’t have time, is uncomfortable, or just doesn’t get it. Don’t let that stop you. Ask your peers who watched you present at the last team meeting. Set-up 1:1 coffees with key cross functionals, ask people for guidance face to face. Ask your direct reports- either via anonymous 360 survey, or after a big project finished on what you could improve upon next time. Ask your digital agency partner, your team’s administrative assistant, ask your VP next time you have time with her on three things you need to master to get to the next level. Be specific.

Give to Get. If you are always asking for feedback, ask yourself, how often do you take the time to give others feedback? Create a culture of giving feedback on your extended team. Feedback should be about praise as well. Send a text, write an email, stop someone in the hall next time they knock something out of the park. And don’t just say the generic, “Good job!” How about “Good job, I really enjoyed reading your analysis, particularly on the growing specialty segment in the tea category.”

Action It. After all that work to get the feedback, now what? Action it. Reflect on what others have to say about your performance. What resonates with you? What seems totally off base? As my boss says, feedback is a gift. You can keep it, exchange it, or toss it out. Now that you have the feedback it’s yours to do with as you please.