Don't Wait for the Crystal Ball; Live Today and Make Your Future Happen

Have you ever seen a child ask a "Magic 8-Ball" a question about the future then shake it five or six times until it gives the desired answer? Maybe you've done this yourself in fact. Either way, the popular "toy" (yes, sorry, it is just a toy), manufactured by Mattel, has been breaking kids' hearts or making their dreams come true since 1950 simply by revealing whether "it is certain" or "very doubtful" if their secret crush will ever have reciprocal feelings.

The reality is, this phenomenon of wanting to know our futures never wanes as we become adults, in fact, it intensifies as do the questions we wish the 8-Ball would answer for us. No longer is it about schoolyard crushes but about things far more significant. Such as "will I ever find work again?" or "will I be able to pay my bills and feed my family?" If you've never had to ask those questions, consider yourself fortunate. Regardless, all of us, at some point in time, has had to experience hardships, face setbacks, and overcome obstacles, all while wondering if there was some sort of end game that will make it clear why we were going through the hard times we found ourselves dealing with at the time.

If any of this registers for you, you're probably thinking more about that 8-Ball than you were a minute ago. You can still ask about your crush by the way. If I had one, I'd still ask it those kinds of questions too. Like will my kids will ever pick up their dirty clothes from the bathroom floor, carelessly discarded before getting in the shower, but I digress.

The future has always fascinated us. Whether we are wondering about it, dreaming about it, planning for it, or simply watching a movie about it, the future seems to dominate our inner-most thoughts. And while usually it does in fact take on a positive connotation - daydreaming about cruises around the world, trips to the Greek Isles, or that 2-bedroom bungalow in the Caribbean that will be your retirement home - the events of the last 12 months have probably changed that ratio considerably. And rather than dreaming of vacation homes, some are simply hoping and praying they can find a way to stay in their current one.

When I found myself out of work last year, for the first time since I was a teenager, I spent a lot of time being obsessed about the future myself, not only wishing I had a Magic 8-Ball but a crystal ball that would open itself to reveal everything in store for me. That every job I had applied for and was subsequently rejected for, just meant I was one step closer to the right one. I believed that to be true by the way, but I just wish I knew how many of those wrong ones there would be. And not only that, what would that "dream job" be when I finally did find it. How many "licks it would take to get to the middle of the tootsie roll pop," if you will.

It got to a point where I would let my mind wander to sometimes fairly dark places, tainting moments where I should have been focused more on my kids, instead of half-heartedly playing a board game just going through the motions. Is this how I want to be living my life? No. But it's how I was. Until I came to the conclusion, after a few months of discovery and reflection, the crystal ball doesn't exist and that the only thing I knew about the future was, well, that I knew nothing about it at all. And neither do you. Since I alluded to it above in terms of movies, now is a good time to remind you of the wise words of Doc Brown from Back to the Future Part 3 that I used in a blog last summer, "your future hasn't been written yet. No one's has." (And maybe that is why I had the trilogy on constant repeat all summer long, not just because it was the 35th anniversary of the first film's release).

Doc Brown's words are meant to be a source of encouragement and inspiration for those questioning what their future holds. This is fine when everything is... fine. But it proves to be difficult to keep top of mind, if not impossible, when your "present" is less than desirable and you're holding out hope that brighter days really are ahead even if there is no evidence to suggest there will be.

"Don't worry," people will say, "there is light at the end of the tunnel," which of course is one of the more popular expressions people share when giving someone advice to stay positive. Another "it's always darkest before dawn," is meant to provide comfort to those of us who find ourselves in that mindset. But the most agonizing aspect of both of these quotes and this philosophy overall is this, similar to what I said above about the jobs that weren't for me that would bring me one step closer to the one that was: they never tell you when you've actually reached that darkest moment or how long and dark the tunnel truly is. No, we don't realize the darkness is behind us until the lights starts to emerge, it's only in hindsight. But because we saw that light once, that should be enough to provide some comfort it will be found again. But when?

More questions for the crystal ball. But once I came to accept the fact that there was no crystal ball to ask, I started to ask those questions of myself. Only how could I know? I couldn't. I could not answer questions about my own future anymore than anyone else could. Thus asking myself those questions was not only futile but caused more angst, worry and stress. But I figured out what I could do, and did, and what I'll say to anyone reading this who may be wondering those same things. While I didn't know anything about the future, there were two things I did know something about: the past and the present. And I realized the only way to be able to truly enjoy the present was to look at the past. Let me explain.

I was reminded of this the other day when talking to my mom about a series of set backs my step-dad Rick faced before finally landing his dream job, one he happily stayed in until his retirement last spring (one that was planned long before Covid). The point there is that if he hadn't found himself in those few rocky situations, he most likely never would have ended up in the same place that he ultimately did. Who knows where he would have ended up? If he stayed in a job that was just ok, he probably could've rolled with it until he had to retire. But because the jobs were miserable, it forced him to take action and find something better and more fulfilling. But when he was in the throes of those darker days, there is no way he could have envisioned that at the time, that it's because of those bad situations, he will then find something far much greater than he imagined.

Following this conversation, I began to then think about my career and I realized something else that will hopefully give me comfort the next time I find myself wishing for the crystal ball. All life really is, is a series of random moments that turn out to be not so random and chance encounters that, in hindsight were life changing and defining. For those a little more on the spiritual side, it's those moments of fate we mustn't lose sight of, that serve as reminders that some of the best things that have happened to us, come when we least expect it. I started to think back to the times in my life where, when I wasn't even looking, something incredible was on the horizon waiting to be discovered.

Like the time I ran into a former colleague in 2007 at a pet store while I was buying dog food for my then-puppy 6-month old puppy Bailey, a yellow lab who is still the "matriarch" of my family. She turned 14 last November and is defying the odds in many ways. In any case, while I was there picking up food for my dog with an insatiable appetite, this former colleague of mine was there buying the entire store as she and her husband were bringing their new puppy, Penny, home that same day.

Before leaving the store and after exchanging some small talk about dog-parent life, she casually mentioned her department at Marriott had an opening she thought I would be a good fit for, and if I had any interest, to send her my resume. I did. Two months later, I was joining the World's Favorite Travel Company as a 27-year-old manager ready to sink my teeth into my next chapter.

Nearly 14 years later, Marriott is still the company I call "home," even after taking up residence at Carnival Cruise Line for three-and-a-half years, a wonderful company and challenging role in its own right (the circumstances that led me to joining Carnival were also fairly remarkable) before returning to Marriott in 2017. And as already shared, my career journey with Marriott includes a few months where I was unemployed in between my most recent pre-Covid role and my current position that I assumed in September of 2020. None of which I ever saw coming but all led to where I am now.

And when I stop to think about how all of that has been, in large part, thanks to an 8-week old puppy beagle who was just picked up earlier that morning, it's almost mind-bogging. Think about that. What if my colleague had brought her home the following week or the following day? What if Bailey didn't need to have her food replaced just yet or what if I decided to leave the house ten minutes later or earlier than I did? Who knows what would have happened, where I'd be now and what I would be doing at this very second. Probably not typing this.

The more I thought about it, every job I've ever held, every place I've ever lived and nearly every relationship I have ever formed started much this same way. So that is the lesson. If it's happened before it will again. That isn't to say we need to sit back and chalk everything up to fate or destiny.

No, of course not. We play an active role in our futures by how we conduct ourselves today and the choices we make each second. But taking the time to remember these moments from our past and appreciating them for what they were, is then what enables us to realize that our only recourse, rather than worrying about or trying to predict the future, is to stay as engaged in today as much as we possibly can. And be ready and prepared for those chance encounters and moments of fate by staying focused, working hard, being kind and compassionate, remaining positive and optimistic rather than bitter and resentful. Because when those opportunities do present themselves (and they will), you'll want to be there to greet them with a smile.

So, rather than asking yourself "when will this tunnel end?" Just know that it will, and prepare yourself for the opportunities that will present themselves when it does.