Don’t try too hard

Since shutdown I have noticed in myself a feeling that I’m missing something. On our hols in March, were ‘locked-in’ in Spain for 5 of the 7 days, came home and the very next night were locked in again.

Everything changed for everybody and only now do I have any capacity to write about it.

But what endures is this feeling of missing something. What should I be doing that I am not? I have time on my hands, lots of it actually. I’m teaming up and zooming in to other people’s well-intended opinions about what we should be doing.

I’m grateful to still be alive, no hacking cough, sunshine out of the window and room to roam in the house and I know there are many thousands of people way less fortunate.

I discussed this niggle with a good friend who said he shared similar feelings, and I know many others who do. He said “it’s like when I used to be in a band, and I moved from lead guitar to be the bands base player. At first, I played the base like the lead and it sounded bad; a more experienced band member told me I was overplaying it, I just needed to play what I had, not what I used to have. It was good advice”.

So perhaps I am overthinking things and worrying about what the future holds. The eastern sages say that emotion is just as much a cause of illness as other things, and overthinking and worrying are classic symptoms of ‘stuckness’ particularly disruptive for breathing and digestion.

So if you are able, eat good food – not too much, do a little breathing (the simplest being to stop, close your eyes and pay attention to your breath for a minute or two) and play what you have, not what you had.

and stay in, please, stay in so we can all get a chance to keep what we already have.

Chris