DON’T TRY AND FIX HER, MAKE HER A SANDWICH

She wakes up and her juju is off. For some reason, she feels beat-up before the day even takes a swing. Maybe financial pressure kept her tossing and turning; she could be preemptively stressing work stuff; maybe she is connecting with too many country song lyrics; maybe she is not connecting with any Marvin Gaye lyrics. Whatever the rub may be, it has her stormy. Being the Knight in shining armor that you are, you decide to get to the bottom of it and fix her. This is a HUGE MISTAKE.???

I get it. If you’re worth your salt, helping a damsel-in-distress is irresistible to your nature as a protector. On the other hand, you might be concerned that her negative energy has something to do with you, so you insecurely blunder into the storm.?Either way, you’re sure to be a casualty of friendly fire.?

? Men, we do better when we know better; knowledge breaks stupid patterns and makes room for beautiful growth.?

She does not want to unpack what is ailing her, she does not want to dig deep and figure things out. I submit to you that knowing what she is thinking at that moment is not the point. The point is - knowing what she needs. To be the man she needs and act with decisive confidence.??

Here are three things that support her the way she needs.

1.?Let her know she is seen. She is struggling and you have skills. Implement those skills to change the pattern from interrogative to comforting. The art of the start – be clear in your intentions and make her day a little bit softer. She will soften, knowing your desire for her comfort. ?

I’ll give you some examples of dos and don’ts:

DO?- “I can see today is being rough on you, get comfy on the couch and I’ll warm up your favorite sweater in the dryer for you.”

DON’T?- “you look mad, what’s wrong?”

DO?- “I wish we could skip work today and hide out. I’ll take care of the errands and dinner tonight. You deserve to have a beautiful day.”

DON’T?- “are you ok with me?” ?

DO?- “I made you this delicious sandwich. Enjoy it while I run out and get some wine. Tomorrow will be a better day my love.”

DON’T?- “why are you upset?”

2.?ACTA NON VERBA - Deeds not words. This cannot be stressed enough. Don’t talk about all the problems. Jump into action.?

Creating a soft and sweet space for her is an act of love. Make some breakfast and let her feel what she feels. Put your needs aside and look for the small moments to create sanctuary. Men and women do not have the same operating system, so keep a mental list of the seemingly mundane details that she takes comfort in. Run a bath and make the house quiet for her, make her a sandwich and turn on her favorite album, find something to ease the stress of life.?Your actions speak volumes to her.

3.?Consistency?- You do not get results from flash in the pan efforts. Keep showing up with determination to make a soft loving space for her. Be there, let her know she is safe to feel, let her know that you soften the bad days. Over time you will earn her trust.?

????????In conclusion, make her a sandwich and love her.?

If you SEE her, your ACTIONS meet her needs and you do this CONSISTENTLY you will be amazed at what a better man you have become.?

????????If you’d like help taking action, we’re offering Retreats in Remote Areas right now. Send me a message or schedule a call if you’d like to Retreat, Unwind and Connect together:?https://calendly.com/baandlila/strategycall