Don't trust, verify.

I know a young stud named Kyle. Kyle loves to ride his motorcycle, really fast. He’s gotten it up to 180 mph?on the highway. But Kyle hates?to fly, because he distrusts it. And that’s due to the fact that while sitting in a plane, he’s?not in control.

There’s no logic to?Kyle’s feelings. Flying is, statistically, much safer than driving, especially at extreme speeds and on a motorcycle. But that information is irrelevant to Kyle, because his?feelings?are what filter his perceptions and direct his reasoning.

That behavior isn’t unique to Kyle. Just about everyone’s reasoning is driven by their feelings, even though—and most likely because—they’re largely unaware of it. And, like Kyle, one of their most powerful feelings is a desire for a sense of control.

It’s hard to see, but it’s everywhere. For example, it turns out that we don’t really care about the?subject?of gossip. What we care about is what the information?means?to?us. In essence, we use gossip in an attempt to feel in control and secure about?our?futures:

“Individuals use evaluative information about others (i.e., gossip) to improve, promote, and protect themselves.” [1]

We do the same when watching the news or scrolling through social media. We identify with particular ideas and groups, so that we can relax in our collective “knowing.” Consequently, this sense of connection and belonging provides a?feeling?of control.

Most of us have the human mind and motivation all wrong. We think that people are moving?through the world trying to?understand “reality,” in the hopes of making it better for themselves and for others. We’re not.

Instead, we’re rapidly screening and interpreting stimuli, searching for information that we believe can improve, promote, and protect ourselves. Or, more precisely, information that can improve and protect our?images?and?ideas?of ourselves.

Identification with gurus and groups is one of the most compelling sources of that information, and the people offering that panacea are acutely aware of it. They also know that “selling is essentially a transfer of feelings,” logic and consequences be damned.

These are?extremely noisy times and we are facing serious problems in our interconnected world. Now is?not?the time to trust your feelings, and verify. Why not? Because you’re being fed information to verify those feelings at every turn.

So for everyone’s sake and for the sake of the planet, stop being sold. Pause and interrogate your reasoning intensely before you decide to follow your feelings, no matter how deeply those feelings may run.

In fact, the deeper the feelings, the more skeptical you should probably be.

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1. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25344294/