“Don't throw the baby out with the bath water“

A personal account of exclusion by association, inclusion by choice

The incident

One afternoon in March 2020, ?on my way home from work, I rubbed my left eye with my fingers. I instantly felt a pang of regret. The following day, I awoke to an angry, swollen eyelid that protruded like a red balloon.

I made my way to the local pharmacy. A young pharmacist approached me, stopped in her tracks, recoiled, then hastily turned away from me to serve another customer who had come in after me.

I felt invisible and excluded. Determined to be seen and heard, I asked if anyone would care to serve me. An older pharmacist came over to help me.

Possibilities of interpretation

There are a couple of ways of interpreting this incident that happened at the start of the pandemic.

Either…

I could interpret it as an act of racism, being ignored and cast aside because I look Chinese and was being associated with China (where the virus had originated).

Or …

I could interpret it as very human response – that of fear in the young pharmacist. Perhaps, seeing my swollen eye had triggered a gut reaction of insecurity and uncertainty; an instinctive need to protect herself from a perceived threat to her own health.

I chose to interpret it as a hybrid of the two.

Possibilities of reaction

For my part, I could choose to react in two ways:

either …

get angry with the young pharmacist for not serving me;

or …

be reminded of the fragility of human nature (Maslow’s hierarchy of needs sprang to mind) and feel compassion for her. Perhaps her own instinctive need for safety had overriden a conflicting desire to meet her customers’ healthcare needs. ?

I chose the latter reaction. Why?

The mirror

The incident at the pharmacist was a wake up call. I realised that the young, conflicted pharmacist had held up a mirror up to me.

Although I am (primarily) Chinese by background, I never lived in China. I harboured an inner conflict. I felt a deep desire to disassociate from the source of oppressive and inhumane actions that caused much suffering and tremendous loss of lives. I felt some guilt by association.

Should I also turn away from appreciating the good stuff? The nation boasts a myriad of treasures, such as its exquisite arts, profound philosophy, stunning natural wonders, delicious cuisine, traditional medicine system, extraordinary martial arts..

Should I disassociate from the whole culture to make a stand about what I don’t agree with? Torn between a sense of ‘guilt by association’ and ‘pride by heritage’, where do I land?

Reconciliation

I recalled the vivid idiom: “Don't throw the baby out with the bath water”, exhorting us not “to lose valuable ideas or things in your attempt to get rid of what is not wanted” (source: Cambridge dictionary).

That’s when I saw a doorway to reconciling my inner conflict constructively. Some years ago, I had watched “Ip Man”, a film about a historical Chinese martial arts legend, Ip Man. Ip Man was Bruce Lee’s teacher.

I had been thrilled to discover that, whilst Ip Man and Bruce Lee had propelled Wing-Chun to a world-renowned martial arts form, it was a woman called Ng Mui who had created it! Ng Mui was one of five legendary elders at the Shaolin temple in China. Legend has it that the movements were inspired by her observation of a crane and a snake fighting.

Ng Mui subsequently transmitted this new form to a beautiful young lady. This enabled the young lady to protect herself from being harassed by a bandit who had been forcing her to marry him. Applying her new skills, she succeeded in defeating the bandit. She subsequently taught this kung-fu style to her husband (who later taught Ip Man).

The young lady’s name was Yim Wing-Chun. ?

On a rainy day this summer, I came across several videos of Ip Man’s nephew, Lo Man Kam. I was impressed by the extraordinary blend of strength, stability and fluidity of movement displayed by the 88 year old master, who continues to teach to this day.

As it continued to pour outside, my online search took me to ‘Dao-Zentrum’, a Wing Chun school in my neighbourhood. It turned out that its owner, Philipp Müggler, had studied with Lo Man Kam for many years. I was thrilled and started attending Sifu (teacher) Philipp’s classes.

Wing Chun movements are short and efficient, training the body to move effectively, whilst building body strength and alignment. There’s a lot to think about for a newbie like me. I’m trying to maintain a firm, stable posture, whilst remaining upright to perform the moves…relaxed and breathe, all at the same time! Challenging. But synched with the breath, the whole class becomes a meditation in movement.

Sifu Philipp explains that ‘following the principles of nature’, 'feeling' and ‘studying the live energy (‘qi’)’ are, in his opinion, the fundamentals of kung-fu. To do a pose well, one needs a free-flowing mind, empty of any thoughts. The idea is to be soft and yield to the flow of qi, initially generated in the ‘dantian’ (core). Strength is derived not through brute force. Rather, the practitioner allows the qi to flow intuitively, guided by the practitioner’s higher intelligence/self.?

Just like in yoga, Wing Chun is a practice to be integrated into our daily lives. In addition to helping to release ‘blocks’ in our body energy system and mind, it trains us to release expectations and manage the ego. Practitioners cultivate a relaxed attitude to flow with life, whilst tapping into greater calm and joy. Regular training enables one to gain a deeper awareness of the self, through surfacing egotistical or unconstructive patterns and behaviours to transform.

What I particularly enjoy about Wing Chun is its focus on maintaining a relaxed and calm attitude at all times. It seems like the ‘yin’ interplaying with the ‘yang’ in a truly harmonious way to bring equilibrium.

When we gather and collect the ‘qi’ into our dantian at the end of class, I feel balanced and energised. Even after a few classes, I can see how continuous practice can do much to promote physical wellbeing, increase body strength, enhance willpower and mental strength. By cultivating a powerhouse of internal energy, that also helps boost immunity. ?

Besides this raft of benefits, the biggest revelation to me was this: Training increases our agility to flow and be at ease with ourselves, even as we navigate through any challenges, in class and in life.

Integration

Embracing my new hobby and rediscovering its inspiring history, I feel a greater sense of ease and integration with my origins and culture. As I get to meet friendly faces in class, I am also feeling more at ease and integrated in my local Swiss community too!

I had turned the incident at the pharmacy around. It ignited the flame of cogitation: in any situation of conflict, I can choose a constructive, integrative approach. Instead of focusing on what’s not right, I can be open to accept what remains to be appreciated….in any nation, individual, situation or event.

“Don't throw the baby out with the bath water”. ?Keep and nurture the baby, even if we want to discard the dirty water.

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“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” – Brian Tracy

With Brian Tracy’s words echoing in the background, I am grateful to the young pharmacist for that incident.

The swollen eye was temporary. I gained the treasure of golden nuggets of insight.?