Don't Tell People Everything:

Why Less is Often More

"The intention and outcome of vulnerability is trust, intimacy and connection. The outcome of oversharing is distrust, disconnection - and usually a little judgment." Brene Brown

In an era dominated by oversharing, where every little detail of our lives can be broadcasted to the world in seconds, the art of restraint seems to be fading away. From boasting about recent achievements to sharing intimate details of personal life, it's becoming increasingly common to spill the beans on just about everything. But is this relentless openness really a virtue?

The Risk of Over-Sharing

At first glance, being an open book might seem harmless or even beneficial, fostering transparency and honesty. However, this lack of filter could potentially place you in precarious situations. Consider the dynamics of friendships and professional relationships. While trusting and confiding in others is natural, indiscriminate sharing can sometimes backfire. Not everyone who smiles with you has your best interests at heart. History is rife with tales of betrayal, from personal relationships destroyed by infidelity to careers sabotaged by those once considered allies.?

Take, for example, the world of espionage. Imagine if fictional spies like James Bond divulged their plans at every turn. Their missions would be doomed from the start. Similarly, in politics, figures like Jeremy Corbyn, Boris Johnson, and Donald Trump have all experienced betrayals, often from within their ranks. These examples illustrate the importance of strategic communication and the dangers of revealing too much.?

Striking the Right Balance?

This isn't to say that one should never share or be open with others. Rather, it's about striking a balance between being transparent and maintaining a sense of privacy. Before revealing information, consider its implications. Is it something that could be used against you? Could it diminish your mystique or leverage in a situation? Remember, while you can never say too little, you can certainly say too much.

Developing the Skill of Impulse Control

What is impulse control? Impulse control refers to an individual's ability to resist temptations, delay impulses, and keep disruptive emotions under control. It also includes the ability to refrain from acting in the short term in favor of long-term goals.

Impulse control is one of the 15 skills measured in the EQ-i 2.0 model of Emotional Intelligence, and it is a critical step toward fostering healthier and more fulfilling relationships. This component of emotional intelligence is essential for managing our reactions to situations, allowing us to pause and consider the consequences of our actions before we act. By strengthening our impulse control, we can avoid rash decisions and behaviors that might harm our relationships or our own self-regard. It involves recognizing the urge to react impulsively, acknowledging this desire, but choosing a more considered response instead.

But What Does Impulse Control Look Like?

Someone with good impulse control will think before they speak and will consider the consequences of their actions before making a decision.

They are likely to remain patient and calm under pressure and are able to maintain their composure during confrontations and other emotionally charged situations.

On the other hand, someone with lower impulse control will often make rash decisions, interrupt others, and frequently change their priorities or tasks without much consideration. Their responses tend to be knee jerk reactions to an event, and they can sometimes be described by others as explosive, hotheaded or unpredictable.?

Controlling your impulses does not mean that you ignore your instincts. It is about thinking these instincts through rather than jumping in headfirst.

Taking the EQ-i 2.0 assessment can be a transformative step in understanding and improving various aspects of your emotional intelligence, including impulse control. This assessment provides a detailed insight into your emotional and social functioning by evaluating a wide range of areas, such as stress management, empathy, and interpersonal relationships. With this comprehensive understanding, individuals can identify specific areas for improvement and develop targeted strategies to enhance their emotional intelligence skills. For instance, by working on impulse control, you can learn to manage your emotions more effectively in challenging situations, leading to more constructive interactions and stronger, more resilient relationships. The ability to control impulses is not just about avoiding negative outcomes; it's also about making space for positive communication and deeper connections with others.?

Conclusion

In summary, while our culture may celebrate the idea of openness, there are compelling reasons to practice discretion. Whether in professional settings, personal relationships, or even casual conversations, the ability to control what you share is a powerful tool. It not only protects you from potential harm but also preserves the intrigue and dynamism that make life interesting. So, the next time you're tempted to reveal something about yourself, take a moment to pause and reflect. Sometimes, silence truly is golden.

Want to raise your Relational Quotient?

Wondering how well you fare in the realm of interpersonal skills??

An Emotional Intelligence (EQ) assessment, such as the EQ-i 2.0, could illuminate your strengths and areas for growth in relationship management.?

Develop Your Relational Intelligence

Your Coach, Comrade and Cheerleader,

Maria José "MJ" Egas Vallejo?

Certified High Performance Coach Certified EQ-i 2.0 & EQ 360 Practitioner (Emotional Intelligence) Certified Hardiness Resilience Gauge Practitioner?

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