Don't start with WHY

WHY Simon Sinek is wrong about WHY

Though I've only recently discovered Mary Oliver, I realise I wasted so many years agonising about my purpose in this 'one wild and precious life'.

Evidence 1: As a teenager I ached over what I was going to do that was significant enough to get me the hell out of Tasmania.

Evidence 2: As a twenty something my focus was about how I was going to be able to squeeze an extra pair of heels onto my already maxed credit card without compromising my credit rating, or my Friday night, whilst working for a financial institution. 

Evidence 3: In my thirties I began to really question how I could live it, this glorious life. That burning in my chest, that yearning to be more, to achieve more, to be increasingly respected and approved of by others, to be awarded more for incredible work performance, to go further/faster than anyone I knew had before, consumed me.

It turns out that burning was severe anxiety caused by ridiculous amounts of self imposed stress and pressure. That achievement bias was in fact building a gilded cage that had me trapped in someone else's purpose for me. That further and faster undid me to the point of complete mental exhaustion. So then I did what most unenlightened, broken spirits do I let the numbness kicked in. And I stopped looking for my purpose and just focused on trying to survive. Feet on the floor, out the door. Work. Home. Wine. Bed. Repeat.

Along came a child and the purpose became selflessness. And then control. And then obsessive desire to provide safety and security. Then a few more years of being trapped in numbness and repetition.

Then the fire started again. But this time, afraid of hitting replay on the horror that came before, I spent many days (months even) considering my grand WHY.

And I stalled - got completely lost. Finding your WHY for your whole life sucked, especially when you were about to turn 40. So... Feet on the floor, out the door. Work. Home. Wine. Bed. Repeat.

A forced diet of pick yourself up, extreme self care, external love and support and professional help coaxed me out of my painful, lonely, raw melancholy amid the ruins of my gilded cage and I surfaced with a vision, a desire and a direction - still not sure of the WHY. So I did only what my newly minted, vulnerable, volatile spirit knew to do, I just began.

Began saying yes to meeting new people, began asking questions about their passions, began saying hell yes to discovering some of mine! And so the universe began to deliver opportunity after opportunity to connect, action, rally and collaborate and bam! Before I knew it I had drive, clarity and dare I say it... purpose. I have my WHY.

So you see Simon Sinek was wrong... for me anyway. And he might also be for you.

Don't start with WHY, start with embracing synchronicity, being open to what's on offer to you, saying yes. 

Gain momentum through connection and common threads, be curious and question. Take wild action. Bathe and dance for your teachers and guides during the full moon. 

Then I'll be damned if you don't find your purpose clear as day, right there in front of you. You'll wake up sure of it at one in the morning, or it'll come to you softly while you feel the rhythmic beat of the shower.

Simon Sinek is not wrong about finding your WHY. I'm just convinced it takes trusting your intuition and taking a leap of faith to build some momentum in order to find it. 

And when you do find it, know it is MAGNIFICENT. And so very worth the wait.