Don’t be the spoon salesman. Why simple English is plainly better

Have you seen that episode of Fawlty Towers where Bernard Cribbins plays an insufferably pompous spoon salesman?

When he wants to book a taxi, he says to Basil Fawlty:

“This afternoon I have to visit the town for sundry purposes which would be of no interest to you I am quite sure, but nevertheless shall require your aid in getting for me some sort of transport, some hired vehicle that is, to get me to my first port of call.”

When he wants to watch a TV programme, he says:

“Is it possible for me to reserve the BBC2 channel for the duration of this televisual feast?”

On being served tinned mushrooms, he says:

“Might I suggest that in future you avail yourself of sufficient quantities of the fresh article?”

Fortunately, outside of Sitcom Land, almost nobody talks like that. And yet there’s something about the act of writing that can encourage us to go into spoon salesman mode – constantly trying to impress people with florid language where the simple kind will do.

Maybe we’re subconsciously back in school, looking for rewards for demonstrating our rich vocabulary. But when you’re writing with the reader in mind, simpler is usually better.

Love of long words

It’s not that I’m against long words. Long words can be great. But outside of academia, technical publications and Booker-shortlisted novels, they'e rarely needed. And long words should not fall into the hands of a show-off.

If you describe your tiny hotel room as lamentably incommodious, the receptionist is more likely to snigger at your pomposity rather than upgrade you. And in business content – whether it’s a press release, a blog or letter to a client – simpler is almost always better.

After all, the business world deals in complex and technical subjects sometimes. And the way to explain a complex subject to a lapyperson is not to present it in complex words.

Trying to sound important

You’ve probably seen this phenomenon in the working world.

When someone needs to write a memo or give a formal presentation, they will do the management equivalent of the spoon salesman thing.

They will talk about they intend drill down to a granular level and take a holistic approach to leveraging a new paradigm. There may be fulfilment issues, but that’s OK, because there are also fulfilment solutions. And if you’re unclear, they’ll reach out to you, touch base and then circle back.

As soon as we address a certain number of people in writing, there’s a temptation to use jargon and impressive-sounding language. It’s as though each extra syllable gives us added authority.

It may also be that we're so used to the common buzzwords of our own specialist fields that we just don't realise that laypeople can't follow us.

I don’t mean to sound superior, because I genuinely think most of us are prone to this. If you asked me to write a letter to a chief executive, I’m sure I’d have to rein in the impulse to add in some buzzwords to show her that she’s dealing with somebody pretty damned smart. But I really hope I’d then go back through the text and simplify it.

Simple is beautiful

What happens if you let this kind of over-complicated writing stand?

Websites become an ordeal to read. Printed publications become more boring. The world becomes generally a tiny a bit more ugly. And the ordinary reader gets left out.

It’s a journalist’s job to simplify and to give the news some impact. But we can all do our bit.

Writing simply isn't easy. In fact, it can be a lot harder than complicated writing. But as well as making your meaning clearer to the reader, it might just help you clarify your own thinking.

I think we all need to go back through our writing with one word in mind: Simplify. We need to ask ourselves this question – and answer honestly: Are there any parts where I’m coming off like that spoon salesman?