Face Your Fear: Ask for What You Want

Asking for what we want is scary.

Whether working with internal clients to agree on how we will partner or trying to gain consensus on moving forward with a team project, it's not uncommon to be spooked by the idea of asking for support. We are frightened by the prospect of someone saying no or, worse yet, concerned they may think we are a real ghoul for asking in the first place.

Collaboration should never trick people into doing it all one way. Instead, it should be the goal to treat everyone's wants respectfully. And, if you never ask, well, you're sure to get ghosted.

Here are some tips to ask for what you want to get scary good results:

1. Sometimes, the best way to think of what we want is to consider first what we don't want. Take all those frustrating things clients do or don't do and convert them to a proactive statement asking for what you want instead. For instance, if a client is always late to your meetings, say, "I want to schedule weekly 30-minute tag-ups at 3 p.m. ET on Thursday and agree to contact each other at least one hour before the meeting if we can't make it."
2. Lift the veil of their wants. Clients are just as frightened about asking for what they want as you are. Make space to hear what they want from how you will work together. It's always less scary knowing you're in it together.
3. Be confident in your request. When you're clear and confident in what you're asking for, it can help alleviate any fear surrounding your request. Present your ask with a sense of assurance and conviction and instill trust. You'll convey the importance of your needs, encouraging a more positive and open response from the other party.

While the chilling prospect of asking for what we want might send shivers down our spine, doing it well can conjure powerful collaborations and summon enchanting results. Unlock the secrets to overcoming fears and more influence at work at www.designedlearning.com