Don't Be So Rigid in Your Thinking

I want to discuss one of my "Merrylisms," which has guided me throughout my career and life: "Don't be so rigid in your thinking." This principle has helped me find success in unexpected places and remain adaptable in the face of challenges.

Like many kids, I had big dreams of becoming an astronaut. The vast possibilities of space exploration inspired me. At seven, I knew this was my path. Fast forward to adulthood—I joined the Navy with my sights set on flying. But not just any aircraft; I wanted to be in a fighter jet. After all, it was the Topgun era, and who wouldn't want to fly one of those sleek, fast jets?

However, things went differently than planned. Instead of a fighter jet, I was assigned to helicopters. Initially, I wasn't thrilled. Like many who didn't get what they envisioned, I had my "24 hours of mourning."

But after that, I decided to reframe the situation. I started exploring what helicopters offered and quickly realized the immense opportunities. I set my sights on the SH-60 Bravo, which had incredible capabilities—anti-surface warfare, torpedoes, sonar buoys, and more. It was a helicopter, but it was no less exciting or vital.

This shift in perspective allowed me to embrace the journey ahead with open eyes and an open mind. Throughout my career, I've encountered many who remained bitter over not getting the aircraft or role they initially wanted, stuck in a rigid mindset. That bitterness, in turn, held them back from enjoying the fullness of their career.

The lesson here is simple: don't be so set on one path that you close yourself to other equally rewarding opportunities. Flexibility is critical in your career, personal life, or academic pursuits. You may have a clear goal, but life has a way of throwing curveballs.

It's important to be flexible when setting your goals.

This idea aligns closely with research highlighted in an article by Steve Martin and Helen Mankin in Harvard Business Review titled "When to Set Rigid Goals, and When to Be Flexible." The article explores the delicate balance between flexibility and rigidity in goal setting. One example they share involves a yogurt shop loyalty program.

Customers were much more likely to sign up for a flexible rewards program but were significantly more successful in completing it when they followed a strict, predefined sequence.

The research reveals that while flexibility can encourage people to pursue a goal, rigid structure often helps them follow through. As Martin and Mankin state, "once a direction has been agreed on, they [leaders] should be rigid with the steps to achieve it." This concept parallels the need to stay open to new paths while also embracing structure once the goal is in sight.

Be ready to pivot

When things don't go as planned, take time to mourn the loss of what you wanted, then pivot. Ask yourself: What new doors have opened? What other opportunities are now available?

It's about the journey. These twists and turns make you a more well-rounded individual, often more so than those who always follow the straight path. Embrace the detours—they could lead to a deeper understanding, new skills, and ultimately, greater success.

Take it from Mr. Bezos

Jeff Bezos echoes this principle of balancing rigidity and flexibility in his approach to business. As he famously said, "We are stubborn on vision. We are flexible on details…. We don't give up on things easily. Our third-party seller business is an example of that. It took us three tries to get the third-party seller business to work. We didn't give up."

Bezos highlights the importance of maintaining a steadfast commitment to the larger vision while staying flexible enough to adjust tactics when needed. His insight further emphasizes that flexibility doesn't mean abandoning the goal—it means being open to new methods of achieving it.

We are stubborn on vision. We are flexible on details.

He also warns, "If you're not stubborn, you'll give up on experiments too soon. And if you're not flexible, you'll pound your head against the wall and won't see a different solution to a problem you're trying to solve." This balance between determination and adaptability enables entrepreneurs and individuals to succeed.

So, the next time life hands you an unexpected outcome, remember: don't be so rigid in your thinking. Stay open, navigate around the obstacles, and you'll find success in ways you never imagined.

This mindset has been instrumental in shaping who I am today, and I can do the same for you. Take a moment to reflect: where are you being too rigid in your thinking? What can you learn from your current situation? Once you open yourself up to the possibilities, you'll see that success isn't defined by getting what you initially wanted but by making the most of what comes your way.