Don’t Skip the Architect: What My Remodel Taught Me About Legacy Planning

When we moved into our 60-year-old home, we knew it needed work. The kitchen, bathrooms, and floors were outdated, and we wanted to create a modern, functional space for our family.

It was a significant project—big enough that, in hindsight, it was clear we needed a designer. But instead, we decided to go straight to the contractors. We thought, “Why spend the extra money when the contractors doing the work can handle everything?”

It felt like the logical thing to do at the time. But looking back, it was one of the most stressful—and regrettable—experiences of my life.

What Happens When You Skip the Designer

Managing the project was exhausting. We did all the design and shopping ourselves, researching endlessly to figure out what we needed and what would work. But here’s the problem: we didn’t know what we didn’t know.

The contractors assured us they could handle the work, but as the project unfolded, the cracks started to show—both literally and figuratively.

We assumed the professionals knew best, but the subpar workmanship became clear too late for us to fix it. Worse, the design itself was fundamentally flawed—not because of bad intentions, but because we didn’t have the expertise to think through the details or ask the right questions.

• The kitchen layout wasn’t optimized for how we actually cook, leaving no space for my American and Asian cooking tools and gadgets.
• There was no room for my tea-making collection, a daily ritual I love.
• The bathrooms lacked thoughtful storage solutions, leading to makeshift fixes that still frustrate me.

The result? A house that’s functional but far from ideal. And the stress of managing it all—combined with countless arguments and tensions over decisions—has left me so burned out that, even five years later, I haven’t finished furnishing the house.

You Don’t See the Flaws Until It’s Too Late

Here’s the thing: when you hire contractors, you expect them to get the job done. But without someone guiding you on the big picture—someone to ensure that the solutions is the right fit for your desired outcomes—you’re taking on unnecessary risk.

The same risks apply when it comes to legacy planning. Without someone guiding you through the big picture, you might think the job is done—but critical flaws could remain hidden, only to surface when it’s too late.

Just like we thought contractors could 'handle everything,' many families approach estate planning with the same mindset: 'Let’s just get this done.'" They hire an attorney to create a trust, thinking it’s a one-time task to check off their list.

But estate planners who operate this way are like contractors—they focus on the immediate task without understanding the bigger picture. They often lack the expertise to integrate family values, business interests, and long-term goals into a cohesive plan.

And unlike my remodel, where I can see the flaws every day, you’ll never see the flaws in your legacy plan.

There’s no way to know if your plan is optimized—or if it’s falling short in ways that could harm your family down the line. You won’t know if assets were not properly aligned, if family dynamics weren’t addressed, or if opportunities for harmony and growth were missed.

By the time your family feels the impact, it will be too late to make changes.

The Difference Between Estate Planning and Legacy Engineering?

Most estate planners operate transactionally. Even though they could be very holistic and relational with the clients, that's our model before launching Legacy Engineering. It's still a transaction after all. They draft documents, address immediate legal concerns, and move on. But they aren't equipped to address the deeper, more complex needs that families face when managing significant wealth:

• Aligning values and goals across generations.
• Navigating family dynamics and potential conflicts.
• Integrating business interests and philanthropy into a cohesive legacy.

That’s where Legacy Engineering? comes in.

We aren’t just transactional planners—we’re architects and strategists. Like a general counsel, we think holistically, bringing together the legal, financial, and relational aspects of your legacy into a plan that’s built to last.

The Hidden Emotional Costs of Poor Planning

Just like my remodel, legacy planning often involves tensions and emotional strain. Decisions are made in isolation, without the thoughtful conversations and visioning that should come first.

Maybe you’re avoiding the hard conversations—like explaining why one child will inherit the family business while another won’t.

Or maybe you are rushing decisions to meet a deadline, like the upcoming sunset of the Tax Cut and Jobs Act that will roll back the estate tax exemption to about $6M, without fully understanding all your options.

Or maybe you’re trusting that the estate planner you hired has thought everything through, only to realize later that they didn’t.

This isn’t about malice or negligence—it’s about expertise. A contractor isn’t an architect, and a transactional estate planner isn’t a Legacy Engineer?.

Your research, no matter how thorough, can only take you so far. Without someone who understands the big picture, you risk creating a plan that feels “good enough” but falls short of what your family truly needs.

Building a Legacy with Intention

I learned the hard way that hiring a designer—or better yet, an architect—isn’t just about avoiding mistakes. It’s about creating something better than you could imagine. A good architect asks the questions you don’t know to ask. They see the possibilities you don’t realize exist.

That’s exactly what we do with Legacy Engineering?.

We don’t just draft documents. We design a strategy that aligns your wealth with your values and relationships, ensuring your family’s harmony and success for generations.

Here’s how we do it:

• Clarity and alignment: We resolve tensions and align your family around shared goals and values, so everyone understands the “why” behind key decisions.
• Customized solutions: We think beyond legal documents, creating a plan that integrates family dynamics, business interests, and philanthropic goals.
• Expert oversight: Like an architect managing a family compound design-build project, we oversee every aspect of implementation to ensure your plan is executed in alignment with your vision.

Don’t Settle for “Good Enough”

When I look at my remodel today, I see all the ways it could have been better. I think about the stress and emotional toll we could have avoided if we’d hired an expert to guide us. And I see the gaps in the design that could have been addressed if someone had helped us think bigger.

When it comes to your legacy, “good enough” isn’t good enough.

You deserve a plan that’s intentional, thoughtful, and optimized—not just for your wealth, but for your family’s harmony and future. And unlike a home remodel, you don’t get a second chance to get it right.

Are You Ready to Build Your Legacy with Intention?

At Roots and Wings Legal , we begin every Legacy Engineering? journey with visioning followed by family meetings. This process helps uncover your goals, align your family’s values, and lay the foundation for a thoughtful, multi-generational plan.

Your legacy deserves more than a transaction—it deserves a vision. Let’s start with a conversation. Schedule an introductory call today to learn how visioning and family meetings can uncover your goals, align your values, and lay the foundation for a legacy built with intention and harmony.