Don't Shit Your Pants at Work

Let’s start 2023 right here – let’s talk about personal wellbeing. In particular, let's have a quick conversation on the topic of suffering.

It is really hard to have conversations about our own personal wellbeing. Why? I believe some of it comes from what has been embedded within our minds, this idea that we should always be tough, that we should always just “power through,” that we must always be macho! Especially relating to our work and our goals.?We reside within a world that prioritizes and glorifies “hustle,” and we live with all the pros and cons that it brings about. ?

We think that we need to be in a constant state of hustling and suffering if we hope to be highly successful.?As it relates to our jobs, we often believe that work is suffering and suffering at work is an indicator of a job well done. We play this game, we prop up this idea, one that says those who suffer the most are the most likely to succeed, to be recognized, to make it past the guillotine when work is slow and layoffs loom in the distance.

You can hear it in the language that we use, we say things like “Bob is such a bad ass! He had food poisoning last week and never missed a day of work.” No one mentions the part where Bob was shitting himself and puking in his trashcan all week, that he was spending a small fortune on medications and adult diapers, and that he was so hopped up on meds and so dehydrated that he was hallucinating. All we hear (and say) are things like “Job well done Bob! Everyone, be more like Bob.” It is the reason why we refuse to take sick days, much less a day off for our mental health. It is why we limp our way to the office smothered in Icy Hot when we should be on the couch after we have thrown out our backs. It is why we push off our doctor appointments and other needed medical or phycological care. Our work, business endeavors, and goals are far more important than our own wellbeing.

We have been taught (or formulate an assumption) that being a “good employee” or being highly successful means sacrificing our wellbeing for the benefit of our jobs, our goals, or our entrepreneurial endeavors; that the more pain and suffering we endure, the better employees we are and the more successful we will become.

What bullshit, right?

But I do it, you do it, we all do it. We still smirk when we hear that one of our colleagues took some days off to “de-stress,” we whisper thoughts of doubt to ourselves when a coworker calls in sick, we still poke fun of those that take days off for “decompression” or “mental health,” and we still pretend that there is some glory, some value in needlessly “suffering through.”

We are creating unrequired suffering for ourselves when we embrace these notions that work should suck, that work must suck, that work is suffering, and that we must endure massive amounts of pain and discomfort for our performance to be high or for our jobs to matter. We are creating unrequired suffering for others when we prop up these ideas, when we belittle those that try to minimize their own suffering or the suffering of those around them, or poke fun of those that choose their suffering wisely.

Do not misinterpret my thoughts here, suffering can be (is, in my personal opinion) beneficial. ?Suffering for the right things, suffering for the things that matter, suffering that has purpose, suffering with an end goal, and suffering that results in a well-earned achievement or high-value outcome, one that can often only be gained through walking hand-in-hand with suffering.

Dieting is suffering, but it has a clear and tangible positive result for those of us that could stand to lose a few pounds. Starving yourself, purging after every meal, pouring yourself full of deleterious weight loss drugs, and the overall destroying of your health to drop a couple pounds, not so much. Putting in some extra hours and effort to complete a critical project to the best of your abilities, probably a worthwhile journey with suffering.?Burning the midnight oil, pounding the pavement, and all the other hump-busting activities of starting a business is typically a good excursion into suffering. ?Pushing yourself painfully beyond your comfort zone to realize your maximum potential??That’s good suffering in my book.?But padding your pants with Depends, sneaking off to vomit in the bathroom, and tripping on cough syrup, just so you can be “tough” and not miss a day of work, I cannot find the value in that brand of suffering.

I would be remiss if I did not mention that I quite literally have the word “suffer” tattooed on my forearm.?Why? ?It is a constant reminder that some things we seek in life require a healthy dose of suffering – calculated, disciplined, and measured suffering – aimed at achieving a high-value outcome or state of being. ?It is also a call to action, that while suffering will always exist, our mission should be to minimize it as much as possible where suffering is unneeded or ill advised, or at the very least, to choose our suffering wisely.

We do have some choice in the matter, we get to choose what we suffer for. ?We get to choose our very own personal brand of suffering that allows us to live the lives that we want to live, that allows us to make the impact that we want to make, and so that we might accomplish the things we hope to accomplish.

But remember, not all suffering is created equally, nor is it all worth while.

Rather than shitting your pants at work – suffering needlessly – choose to invest your suffering into something of value.

For more about Sam, consulting, resources, and more visit www.thehopnerd.com.