Don’t Sell; Advise: Embrace the Role of Trusted Advisor

The best salespeople don’t sell; they advise. Discover how product managers and consultants can adopt this approach to drive success.

The Misconception of Selling

In many ways, we're all in sales. We sell our ideas, our plans, and our products. Yet, for many product managers, the idea of selling is uncomfortable, if not downright intimidating. After all, most of us didn't get into product management to become salespeople. We’re here to solve problems, build amazing products, and make users’ lives better.

But here's a secret: the best salespeople don't really "sell" in the traditional sense—they advise.

This might sound surprising, especially if you've always thought of sales as a pushy, high-pressure activity. But in reality, the most effective salespeople are those who build trust, focus first on their customers’ needs, and then offer solutions that truly help.

And that's something we do in product management, too.

The Problem: “Distrusted Advisors”

The problem many buyers face today is the sheer number of salespeople and consultants claiming to be "trusted advisors." Unfortunately, not all of them are trustworthy, nor do they have the experience to genuinely advise clients on complex challenges. This creates a disconnect, leading buyers to approach all sales interactions with skepticism.

As a product manager, you’re already halfway there. You understand your product inside and out, you know the market, and you’re deeply invested in solving customer problems. The key is to stop thinking of interactions with customers as "selling" and start thinking of them as opportunities to provide valuable advice—just like you would for a friend or family member.

“Brother-in-Law Selling”: A New Perspective

I like to call this approach “Brother-in-law selling.” Imagine your brother-in-law—or maybe it's a close friend—asks you for advice on buying a car or a computer or whatever area of specialty you have. You use your knowledge to help them find the best option for their needs. You don’t recommend what you would buy; you recommend what they should buy.

This is exactly how product managers should approach interactions with potential customers. It’s about understanding their problems, offering genuine advice, and guiding them toward the best solution—whether that solution is your product or not. When you do this, you’re not just selling but building a relationship based on trust and mutual respect.

Why Advising Beats Selling

Let’s break down why this advising approach works better than traditional selling, especially for product managers.

Trust is the foundation of long-term relationships. When customers feel that you’re genuinely trying to help them, they’re more likely to trust you. Trust leads to repeat business, referrals, and a stronger brand reputation.

Advisors listen more than they talk. One of the hallmarks of a great advisor is their ability to listen. By understanding the customer’s pain points and goals, you can tailor your advice to their specific situation, making it more relevant and impactful.

Advisors are seen as experts. When you position yourself as someone who offers valuable insights rather than just pushing a product, customers begin to see you as an expert. This can lead to more influence and better outcomes for both parties.

It’s less stressful. Let’s be honest—selling can be stressful. But when you approach it from an advising standpoint, the pressure is off. You’re not trying to hit a quota; you’re simply helping someone make the best decision. This mindset shift can make interactions much more enjoyable for both you and the customer.

Practical Tips for Becoming a Trusted Advisor

Here are some practical tips for product managers who want to embrace this approach.

Understand the Customer’s Needs. The first step in advising is to deeply understand what your customer needs. This means asking questions, listening carefully to their answers, and not making assumptions. It’s important to get to the root of their problem before offering any solutions.

Be Honest and Transparent. Transparency is key to building trust. If your product isn’t the best fit for a customer’s needs, don’t be afraid to say so. In the long run, this honesty will pay off. Customers will appreciate your candor and will be more likely to come back to you when they have a need that your product can fulfill.

Develop and Share Your Expertise. As a product manager, you have a wealth of knowledge about your industry, your product, and the challenges your customers face. Don’t be afraid to share this knowledge. Write blog posts, create guides, or simply offer insights during conversations. The more value you provide, the more customers will see you as a trusted advisor.

Build Relationships, Not Transactions. Focus on building relationships rather than closing deals. This means following up after a sale, checking in with customers to see how they’re doing, and being available to answer questions or offer advice down the road. By showing that you care about their success, you’ll strengthen the relationship and increase the likelihood of future business.

Keep Learning and Improving. The best advisors are always learning. Stay up-to-date with industry trends, continue to improve your product knowledge, and always be on the lookout for new ways to help your customers. The more you know, the better advice you can give.

The Role of Trusted Advisor

For product managers, the shift from selling to advising can be transformative. Not only does it make interactions with customers more enjoyable, but it also leads to better outcomes for both you and the customer. Remember, the best salespeople don’t sell—they advise. By embracing this mindset, you can build stronger relationships, earn more trust, and ultimately drive greater success for your products.

So next time you find yourself in a sales situation, don’t think of it as selling. Think of it as helping a friend. Because, at the end of the day, that’s what it’s all about.