Don't Seek Like-minded People.

Whenever I see the phrase or hear the words, "I'm seeking like-minded people," I pause.

It happened again today, via a new LinkedIn connection.

Why, I think, would you want to have people who think like you do? I always want to ask, what's the growth opportunity in that?

Answer: very little.

What I've come to realize is this: when people say they want to connect with like-minded people they're really saying something else like:

1. I understand who you seem to be and want to know you because I feel comfortable with who you appear to be.
2. I want to find people who share my values, beliefs and practices. I want to feel safe in familiarity.
3. I want to be validated that who I am, as I am, is worth something to someone else.
4. I want to be with people who are ready to run the same race as I am.
5. I want to fee safe, comfortable and in familiar territory.

Newsflash, my friend: Growth doesn't happen in a comfort zone. Ain't no such thing - the mythical comfort zone. What best suits us is a Challenge Zone.

We don't grow around people who don't challenge us. And that starts by challenging ourselves first.

Challenge yourself to seek people who have very different views, opinions and beliefs as you. Engage them in civil discussion, discourse and debate. All of those forms of communication foster empathy and listening, two skills we all need to improve.

Challenge yourself to seek people with different mindsets, different attitudes. Invite them to tell you where they're coming from, figuratively and literally, to increase your understanding. When we invite open conversation we amp our knowledge, insights and ability to be willing to listen, better. Listening better has so many positive impacts!

Challenge yourself to seek people who seem to be very different than you currently are. Challenge yourself by looking at yourself and asking your mirror image, "Is this who I want to be?" And "Who can I connect with, with different perspective, that can help me grow and stretch?"

Challenge yourself by intentionally creating and developing relationships of great variety, on purpose, to learn and build and grow. To understand, heal and progress. To enlighten, laugh and develop.

Have you ever been in a meeting where someone says something, and the rest of the room agrees with the speaker? Yea, that. That's called redundancy and it's not anywhere close to fostering growth.

When we seek only those people who we share a current belief with, some of us become redundant. When we seek those who share different beliefs, that's where we connect on purpose with the intention to improve the world. Starting with ourselves first.

I challenge you to challenge yourself today. Seek someone who seems to have a different view on something than you have; invite them to have a respectful conversation about what they think. Engage. Listen. Ask questions, pay attention. Learn. Shift. Connect.

When we connect with people in this way, when we start with an open willing mindset to grow, then - and only then - do we make progress.

Ginger relishes challenging conversations with great people. As a human connection expert, she teaches leaders why & how to become world-class connectors. She invites you to visit and read more at https://www.gingerjohnson.com/