Don't Be Seduced By Excuses
Brian Ford
Using personal development to fundraise for charity | Behavior Change & Life Systems Coach (20+ million podcast downloads) | Social Impact Leader (Founder of For Purpose Foundation)
One of the fatal flaws of humanity is that we are hard-wired to do what feels good in the moment. We fight this daily battle between the pleasure of the present moment (instant gratification) and the payoff of delayed gratification. Unfortunately, the way this usually works is that the things that are less pleasurable in the immediate are better for us in the long-term.
One of the many ways that the mind tries to seduce us into short-term pleasure is by making excuses and exceptions. This is an irrational story our brain tells us to influence our decision making to do the comfortable thing. To stay warm and cozy instead of getting up and going to the gym because “you need the extra rest today”. To put off that difficult conversation for another day because “you already have too much going on.”
These logical arguments all serve to do one thing - Keep you from taking uncomfortable action.
The other fatal flaw that impacts our good intentions on a daily basis is how we’re also hard-wired to conserve energy and take the path of least resistance. Making excuses is a the permission to do exactly that.
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The problem with this is you later regret the decisions you made, making you feel like you lack discipline in key areas of your life. This evolves into feeling less self-confident and a sense of less self-belief, ultimately making it even harder to take corrective action. It becomes a slippery slope where it’s easier to compromise on your standards the next time and demands more of you to do the same amount of work.
The antidote to making excuses, and the way to interrupt this spiral, is to be clear on your intentions and feel accountable to enforcing them. It’s less appealing to sleep in and not go to the gym on a Wednesday morning when you’ve made a commitment to work out on Wednesday mornings, especially if that’s a decision you know you’ll need to answer to.
If you want to become more self-disciplined, and have a way to be greater than that voice in your head making all those excuses so that you take positive action anyway, you'll want to check this out!
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1 年Another antidote that works to stop making excuses is pain. As Tony Robbins said. ?? Change occurs when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change. Alex Hormozi also said.?? ?? Scenario 1: You have all the time and comfort to achieve your goals. ?? Scenario 2: Your family is kidnapped and they will die if you don't achieve x objective in the next x time. Think about what will make you move faster. Extreme but powerful. ?? I loved this insights Brian. ??
Conversion Specialist | Helping you boost profits and acquire new customers at scale ?? Copywriting strategy + testing that optimizes for full-funnel revenue
1 年That's a compelling take, Brian! This morning I've been immersed in the perspective of Qi Gong (Tai Chi)/Taoist thought. The author I was reading said "The goal of life is not to do Qi Gong, but rather the goal of Qi Gong practice is to enhance life."? So, I see it something like that.... We need a basic structure to our lives, basic imperatives... but we also need some flexibility in our days, in order to allow life to happen. It's really an ongoing process to attain and maintain clarity as to what our goals are and "why" our commitment to specific daily habits are important at any given time. So yeah, flexible discipline - and more than, that "the power of habit" - are the way to go, from my perspective.
Sr. Product Marketing Manager at Puget Sound Energy
1 年I don't disagree with any of this, but also think that some self-compassion is reasonable. Not to mention I've always tried to not become the "drill sergeant" or what that supreme level of working-mother-discipline looks like on others. Perfection is often unapproachable, and definitely not a helpful model for kids or subordinates i.e. fear of failure, perfectionism, anxiety, keeping mistakes in. I find with the way life is (pretty demanding) it has paid off big time to share my 'daily mistake' with these folks. Not only is it humbling but it also builds a culture of #growthmindset.
Chief Financial Officer specializing in Cannabis Accounting, Tax and CFO Services | 280E Tax Compliance | Serve All 50 States
1 年Comfort is the enemy of progress.