Don't Say the "M" Word!
Whoever enters here honors me; whoever doesn’t- pleases me.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Live Yet Pre-recorded- Episode VII of:
Don’t Say the “M” Word!
A Silent Radio Hour: Live Yet Pre-Recorded
J: Welcome back cherished listeners to our ‘A Silent Radio Hour’ here in the safe confines of The Spank the Monkey Café conference room!
D: To say the least, good to be back home after our bizarre encounter with those terrific people on the hospital Psych-Ward or PW!
J: And you call those terrific people on the hospital Psych-Ward or PW: Psych-Techs or PTs!
D: And as terrific and lovely as they might be, reflecting on our stay at what the ‘Eagles’ rock band referred to as the ‘Hotel California’ to say the least once again: Our Weekend of Hell!
J: Icing on the cake!
D: Cherry on top of the sundae!
J: How’d it all start?
D: Here’s how: ARTICLE I entitled: Detention of Mentally Disordered Persons for Evaluation and Treatment or the 5150 Action!
J: Please explain to our once again cherished listeners just what is a 5150 Action!
D: A 5150 Action’s (a) When a person, as a result of a mental health disorder, is a danger to others, or to himself or herself, or gravely disabled, a peace officer, professional person in charge of a facility designated by the county for evaluation and treatment, member of the attending staff, as defined by regulation, of a facility designated by the county for evaluation and treatment, designated members of a mobile crisis team, or professional person designated by the county may, upon probable cause, take, or cause to be taken, the person into custody for a period of up to 72 hours for assessment, evaluation, and crisis intervention, or placement for evaluation and treatment in a facility designated by the county for evaluation and treatment and approved by the State Department of Health Care Services. At a minimum, assessment, as defined in Section 5150.4, and evaluation, as defined in subdivision (a) of Section 5008, shall be conducted and provided on an ongoing basis. Crisis intervention, as defined in subdivision (e) of Section 5008, may be provided concurrently with assessment, evaluation, or any other service.
J: Oh please do continue as the loveliness of our adventure in the mental health domain of pure insanity awakened my primal belief in the futility of daily living!
D: Continuing: (b) When determining if a person should be taken into custody pursuant to subdivision (a), the individual making that determination shall apply the provisions of Section 5150.05, and shall not be limited to consideration of the danger of imminent harm.
J: And whose harm would that be dear brother Drew?
D: Everyone’s! No one’s! I don’t know Jonathan!
J: Then please, keep reading!
D: (c) The professional person in charge of a facility designated by the county for evaluation and treatment, member of the attending staff, or professional person designated by the county shall assess the person to determine whether he or she can be properly served without being detained.
J: And were we detained dear brother Drew?
D: Hogtied and forced fed some pretty mean anti-psychotic meds!
J: I’m still unable to walk a straight line!
D: Knocked Warren over coming into the conference room! He just laughed!
J: Wish I could laugh! Anyway, please do continue reading:
D: If, in the judgment of the professional person in charge of the facility designated by the county for evaluation and treatment, member of the attending staff, or professional person designated by the county, the person can be properly served without being detained, he or she shall be provided evaluation, crisis intervention, or other inpatient or outpatient services on a voluntary basis.
J: And did we volunteer dear brother Drew?
D: According to the police persons screaming in our faces; I don’t think it was voluntary what with the billy-club treatment and all!
J: Pleasant people those police persons!
D: Indeed, pleasant to the core!
J: Continuing to read:
D: Nothing in this subdivision shall be interpreted to prevent a peace officer from delivering individuals to a designated facility for assessment under this section. Furthermore, the assessment requirement of this subdivision shall not be interpreted to require peace officers to perform any additional duties other than those specified in Sections 5150.1 and 5150.2.
J: And did they?
D: Did they what?
J: Perform additional duties, that is, our friendly hosts from the Seattle Police Department or SPD?
D: Yes! They slammed our heads into the pavement! They handcuffed then punched and kicked us in some very unpleasant parts of our bodies…
J: Still unable to flick the Zippo!
D: Indeed! No mercy was given!
J: Continue reading dear brother Drew!
D: (d) Whenever a person is evaluated by a professional person in charge of a facility designated by the county for evaluation or treatment, member of the attending staff, or professional person designated by the county and is found to be in need of mental health services, but is not admitted to the facility, all available alternative services provided pursuant to subdivision (c) shall be offered as determined by the county mental health director.
J: And did they offer us some available alternative, Drew?
D: You mean something like a stay at the Plaza Hotel?
J: Yes, something of that nature!
D: Hell no, we were given something called ‘The White Room’!
J: Isn’t that a song by the classic rock band ‘Cream’?
D: Indeed it is Jonathan!
J: Continue reading brother Drew!
D: (e) If, in the judgment of the professional person in charge of the facility designated by the county for evaluation and treatment, member of the attending staff, or the professional person designated by the county, the person cannot be properly served without being detained, the admitting facility shall require an application in writing stating the circumstances under which the person’s condition was called to the attention of the peace officer, professional person in charge of the facility designated by the county for evaluation and treatment, member of the attending staff, or professional person designated by the county, and stating that the peace officer, professional person in charge of the facility designated by the county for evaluation and treatment, member of the attending staff, or professional person designated by the county has probable cause to believe that the person is, as a result of a mental health disorder, a danger to others, or to himself or herself, or gravely disabled. The application shall also record whether the historical course of the person’s mental disorder was considered in the determination, pursuant to Section 5150.05. If the probable cause is based on the statement of a person other than the peace officer, professional person in charge of the facility designated by the county for evaluation and treatment, member of the attending staff, or professional person designated by the county, the person shall be liable in a civil action for intentionally giving a statement that he or she knows to be false.
J: Now here’s the issue! When they say ‘the admitting facility shall require an application in writing stating the circumstances under which the person’s condition was called to the attention of the peace officer’ how can any reputable mental-health facility depict our detention as being justified?
D: Really! I asked that question to the intake Psych-Techs or PT and she just laughed! I said ‘why are you laughing?’ her response was to continue to laugh while detailing the reasons behind our 5150 stay!
J: And what was this laughing response?
D: The intake Psych-Techs or PT stated, rather clinically, ‘This one’ pointing at you Jonathan ‘was wearing nothing but a somewhat burnt plaid flannel shirt, a stupid looking tool-belt that you were calling Guinevere…’
J: Guinevere not stupid looking!
D: Whatever! She turned to me and bluntly stated: ‘And this one keeps claiming that the police brutally beat both of you! Stupid, Ass Scratchingly Stupid or ASS!
J: She called us Asses!
D: Which we’re not!
J: And why not brother Drew?
D: Because we’re Jonathan and Drew who are apparently not the Property Brothers!
J: And she just laughed while saying:’ The police don’t do that! 5150!’ she shouted while winking to the police officers who were also hysterically laughing right along with her!
D: Conspiracy I shouted!
J: Shut the hell up they shouted back!
D: And in we went!
J: Into the safe confines of the Seattle mental health system!
D: My TheJefferys bless us one and all!
J: Read on brother Drew!
D: (f) At the time a person is taken into custody for evaluation, or within a reasonable time thereafter, unless a responsible relative or the guardian or conservator of the person is in possession of the person’s personal property, the person taking him or her into custody shall take reasonable precautions to preserve and safeguard the personal property in the possession of or on the premises occupied by the person…
J: Had to fight like hell to get my burnt plaid flannel shirt and Guinevere back!
D: And by the way, why do you call her Guinevere Jonathan?
J: The legendary tale of how King Arthur became King Arthur!
D: And how’s that?
J: A young man pulled the sacred hammer out of the stone!
D: The hammer and the stone?
J: Wonderful tale!
D: Whatever! Continuing to read: The person taking him or her into custody shall then furnish to the court a report generally describing the person’s property so preserved and safeguarded and its disposition, in substantially the form set forth in Section 5211…
J: Which again was the police who just kept laughing hysterically!
D: … except that if a responsible relative or the guardian or conservator of the person is in possession of the person’s property…
J: Our producer Warren Williams who wouldn’t answer the freaking collect-call!
D: … the report shall include only the name of the relative or guardian or conservator and the location of the property, whereupon responsibility of the person taking him or her into custody for that property shall terminate.
J: Again, had to fight tooth and nail to get my stuff back!
D: You mean ‘Stupid Ass Scratching Stuff or SASS?’ As they called it!
J: Insufferable people those Psych-Techs or PTs and the Seattle Police or SP! And if it were indeed Stupid Ass Scratching Stuff or SASS as they called it, why should I have had to fight so hard with them to get it back brother Drew?
D: Just being mean and nasty I suppose!
J: Agreed! It’s a mean and nasty world out there!
D: And that’s why we’re here inside The Spank the Monkey Café!
J: Because we’re Jonathan and Drew still not pretending to be the Property Brothers!
D: What he said!
J: Continue reading brother Drew!
D: As used in this section, “responsible relative” includes the spouse, parent, adult child, domestic partner, grandparent, grandchild, or adult brother or sister of the person
J: Babe was unavailable!
D: As she always is!
J: But didn’t she move?
D: Correct! To Venice Beach, California I believe!
J: Whatever! Please do continue brother Drew!
D (g) (1) Each person, at the time he or she is first taken into custody under this section, shall be provided, by the person who takes him or her into custody, the following information orally in a language or modality accessible to the person. If the person cannot understand an oral advisement, the information shall be provided in writing.
J: Which they refused while continuing to laugh!
D: And laugh they did as we were escorted into the Seattle Mental Health Facility or SMHF!
J: And that’s all the time we have for today cherished listeners!
D: So please! Join us tomorrow as we continue our rabbit hole adventure into The Mental Health Wonderland or TMHW which is the Seattle Mental Health Facility or SMHF!
J: See you then!
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To our cherished audience out there hopefully still listening to our ‘A Live Silent Radio Hour’ which’s live yet pre-recorded; I’m still disappointingly so, the show’s producer Warren Williams and I wish to thank all of you for tuning in once more while once again leaving any semblance of rational thought at the door as for the sake of TheJefferys: How in the hell can you listen to silent radio? I’m still here live yet pre-recorded and I simply don’t understand any of this! ( Inspirational Pause!) But this I do understand! When Drew bumped into me I wasn’t laughing at him because he couldn’t walk strait but rather; I was laughing at Jonathan who had nothing on but his, which appeared to be somewhat burnt plaid flannel shirt, his tool-belt which seemed a little to tight if you ask me; something to do with comfort or he said? And he was wearing his work boots without socks! Again, I was laughing hysterically at Jonathan and not Drew!