Don't Say the "M" Word!
Whoever enters here honors me; whoever doesn’t- pleases me.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Com.com Live Streaming Service: CCLSS
Episode VII of:
Don’t Say the “M” Word!
A Live Streaming Good Time Television Hour
SPW: Okay than! We’re back!
MSC: And aren’t you, “our” “VIEWING” audience, ever so fortunate!
SPW: And why are they so fortunate, Cen or C?
MSC: Because the show’s now in your capable hands!
SPW: Why thank you Cen or C! And while I know that somehow you’re setting me up for failure as that which happens everyday in Corporate America or CA; still, I appreciate the favorable words!
MSC: Don’t mention it Warren!
SPW: To be certain C or Cen! Wouldn’t think of it!
MSC: Great to know the spite that’s in your heart! Reminds me of a great story just across the way at Com.com Corporate Headquarters or CCCH!
SPW: Would just love to hear it, Cen or C!
MSC: Corporate or C was all abuzz as the listings for VP Harold Barnes’ new team members were about to be posted! To the quick! To be placed on a Harold Barnes Team or HBT was to be positioned on the fast-tract to Corporate Capital Fortune CCF if not security: Gigabytes, Gigabytes and more Gigabytes! High Anxiety or HA was on maximum alert as Executive after Executive nervously paced back and forth awaiting Barnes’ Personal Assistant or PA!
SPW: Did his Personal Assistant or PA get personal, Cen or C?
MSC: Oh my did he ever! ‘Back off you ass-sniffin’ mutts!’ Cliff so enjoyed this day most of all. ‘Wait for it!’ Snickering, he posted the list and marched away.
SPW: Good for him!
MSC: The first hopeful came forward only to shout: ‘Oh God dammit! I kissed his old sweaty ass for a whole year and nothing!’ Whereas the next hopeful barked: ‘Hey! I’ve been kissing his malevolent ass for five years now and still nothing!’ And then the next hopeful screeched!
SPW: And what did he screech, C or Cen?
MSC: This! ‘Now listen to me! Not only have I been kissing his ass for a whole decade; but hear me out! I’ve washed his car, his dog, his wife; who by the way left him five years ago and he still hasn’t noticed; and by the way, I’m still stuck washing that old hag! Anyway! I’ve washed the children, who still call me daddy! Washed the clothes, the yard, the pool boy, who seems to be just a little too interested in me! Damn, I’ve washed, God this is painful! I’ve washed that old man’s nasty primordial penis! and he still hasn’t noticed! And nothing!’
SPW: And then what Cen or C?
MSC: Karina happened! She always does! ‘I’m in! I’m in! I’m in!’ Karina was really excited as she danced circles around her forlorn fellow Executives: ‘And you’re not!’ God she loved the Corporate Life or CL! ‘Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah!’ Indeed! Life at Corporate or C can be complicated if not compulsive! ‘Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah; Nah!’ And so it goes. But dear “VIEWERS” (Wait for it) More of this and Harold Barnes’ old and nasty penis later!
SPW: Oh! Good Times or GT for certain, Cen or C!
MSC: My pleasure to be of service, Warren!
SPW: Okay than! Without further ado! Amazon.com’s next Corporate Commercial or CC! And this one’s to die for! Roll ‘em!
Corporate Commercial: Amazon.com! A wonderful place to work!
Take Three!
Here in the WareHouse of the Wicked or WHW, in the WasteLand of the Weary or WLW, where the Waste Products of the American Dream or WPAD loiter, which by the way’s TOT or Time Off Task; a place where the Dilapidated Souls of the FC Blues or DSFCB have come to call: the Voyage of the Damned or VD! A Tier I Plebeian or TIP takes consolation in the arms of another TIP or Tier I Plebeian as the Hammer of Ruthlessness or HR falls on the Unsuspecting Workers or UWs, the Euphemism or E of which came to be known as the Associate or A who harbors a Pathological Resentment or PR concerning the Outright Relentless Brutality or ORB enacted on their, that is, on the As or Associates Collective Asses or CAs! A Cry-In-The-Night or ACITN bellows: ‘Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?’ ‘I know Charlie Brown!’ as the Collective Voice of the Management Team or CVMT squeals back: ‘There’s no crying in online retail’! Therefore! Back To Work or Back To the Streets or BTWBTS!
The Amazon.com Teller of Tales or AcTT articulates as he quotes from Lewis Mumford’s ‘Technics and Civilization’
Mining and refining and smithing invoke, by the nature of the material dealt with, the ruthlessness of modern warfare: they place a premium on brute force. In the technique of all these arts the pounding operations are upper most: the pick-ax, the sledge-hammer, the ore-crusher, the stamping machine, the steam hammer: one must either melt or break the material in order to do anything with it. The routine of the mine involves an unflinching assault upon the physical environment: every stage in it is a magnification of power.
Inbound Operations:
‘Are we ready in the Flow Tower or FT?’ cries Inbound Senior Operations Manager or ISOM Dallas Darrells from Flow Central Command or FCC, whose last name’s inherent meaning’s Beloved or B, which he wasn’t, that is: Appreciated, esteemed, respected, tolerated let alone loved as the man was a Harsh Son-Of-a-Bitch or HSOB who pushes he’s workers as if they were nineteenth century mine workers! And you can hear them singing (SAM Cooke’s): ‘The Chain Gang’!
(Hooh aah) (hooh aah)
I hear somethin' sayin’
‘Ready on our end!’ bellows Stow Area Manager or SAM Eric Evans, whose first name’s spiritual connotation’s Unifier or U, and hell no, the man’s a picture of disharmony as he grinds through life without a friend in the world while taking it out on his stowers as they toil in the congestive heat of the floor! And you can hear them singing:
(Hooh aah) (hooh aah)
(Hooh aah) (hooh aah)
‘East-side floor?’ Darrells bellows with all his nasty, contemptible might! ‘Are your people in attack position?’ as he paces back and forth causing his head-set to nearly fall out his head. The day was just beginning and already the man was in one of his bad tempered, irritable moods! And you can hear them singing:
(Well, don’t you know)
That’s the sound of the men working on the chain ga-a-ang
That’s the sound of the men working on the chain gang
‘My people seem antsy!’ shouts back Process Assistant or PA Carmen Cary whose first name’s spiritual connotation’s Joyful or J which is her delightfulness as she loves to see the sweltering sweat steaming off the faces of her stowers as they rush about trying to find space out on the floor. ‘Something about safety conditions and lack of stowing space here on the B-side.’ And you can hear them singing:
All day long they’re singin’
(Hooh aah) (hooh aah)
(Hooh aah) (hooh aah)
‘I don’t want to hear any of that Namby-Pamby or NP talk about working conditions! These people are well-paid to get out there and Stow Their Asses Off or STAO!’ Stow Area Manager or SAM Logan Locke whose first name’s spiritual connotation’s Devoted To God or DTG hardly fit his disposition which maintained at all costs, the Devotion of Duty to On-Line Retail or DDOLR: ‘Motivate them PA!’ And you can hear them singing:
(Well, don’t you know)
That’s the sound of the men working on the chain ga-a-ang
That’s the sound of the men working on the chain gang
‘Power-Hour or PH from the start!’ Oh God here it comes! That God damn motivational sermon concerning the need for speed and diligence as the carrot and the stick are already out and ready for action: ‘What seems appropriate for today’s prize for highest percent-to-goal?’ Carmen the Joyful or CJ laughs to herself: ‘Why not a cookie?’ she laughs once more! ‘People!’ and here it is! ‘The winner of this morning’s power-hour will get a cookie!’ Again that God damned insidious laugh of hers! ‘But listen!’ Here comes the stick! ‘No milk! Now get to it!’ And you can hear them singing:
All day long they work so hard
Till the sun is goin’ down
Working on the highways and byways
And wearing, wearing a frown
You hear them moanin’ their lives away
Then you hear somebody sa-ay
High up in the Flow Tower or FT, Natalie Narah the Nasty or NNN which’s God’s Gift of Joy or GGJ, which she wasn’t; was on her first day as the new front-half days Inbound Operations Manager or IOM and boy did she ever want to Strut-Her-Stuff or SHS and demonstrate her willingness to Upper Management or UM that she has what it takes to ‘hammer those people Area Managers or AMs!’ And you can hear them singing:
That’s the sound of the men working on the chain ga-a-ang
That’s the sound of the men working on the chain gang
‘God dammit people! We’re only running at 99.9% to goal, I want that last little drop of their sweat, blood and tears out there on the floor! Get it!’ And my God how they did get that last 00.1% as a furious pace was suddenly launched as the panicked stricken Management Team or MT whipped their hapless stowers furiously! And you can hear them singing:
Can’t ya hear them singin’
Mm, I’m goin’ home one of these days
I’m goin’ home see my woman
Whom I love so dear
But meanwhile I got to work right he-ere
100, 101, 102, 110% to goal as Inbound Senior Operations Manager or ISOM Dallas Darrells from Flow Central Command or FCC, whose last name’s inherent meaning’s Beloved or B delights himself as a job-well-done had been accomplished and all that’s left is a little paperwork and a Long Lonesome Sigh or LLS: ‘God that was good!’ (But Don’t Say the “M” Word!) And you can hear them singing:
(Well, don’t you know)
That's the sound of the men working on the chain ga-a-ang
That's the sound of the men working on the chain gang
And you can hear them singing:
All day long they’re singin’, mm
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my work is so hard
Give me water, I’m thirsty
And you can hear them singing:
My, my work is so hard
Oh my, my, my, my, my, my work is so hard
The Amazon.com Teller of Tales or AcTT once again Articulates or As himself (but Don’t Say the “M” Word!) as he quotes, this time from Steve Talbott’s ‘Devices of the Soul: Battling for Our Selves in an Age of Machines’
Not only did the machine originate with us, and not only does it live in us, but now it has massive external and objective presence in our lives. We can interact with all this machinery only by shaping ourselves to its requirements. In this way the objectified machine can, if we allow it, further strengthen those inner, mimed automatisms from which it first arose.
SPW: Now that’s what I call a Corporate Commercial or CC!
MSC: Yeah! But Don’t Say the “M” Word!
SPW: What?
MSC: Oh never mind! But hey! Amen to that Brother Warren! Amen to that! (Sinister Music Once Again Playing in the Background)!
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To our cherished listeners out there hopefully still “VIEWING” our Com.com’s Live Streaming Service or CCLSS! I’m the Show’s Producer Warren or SPW! I wish to thank all of you for tuning in once more while again leaving any semblance of rational thought at the door as for the sake of TheJefferys: How in the hell can you listen to silent radio? Never understood that one! Anyway folks! I’m back! And I’m here Live while Streaming on Television or LST! (Inspirational Pause!) And please cherished “VIEWERS”, come back next time to hopefully Find-Out-the-Facts or FOFs concerning the nature and cause of our Collective Delusion or CD! Please stay safe and always watch out for those who would Un-Naturally or UN ridicule our Blessed Way of Life or BWL: FREE ENTERPRISE or FE! And please! Make sure to thank TheJefferys for your Personal Prosperity or PP! And so I’m certain! And Good Night Irene!
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MSC: Warren?
SPW: Yes Cen or C?
MSC: We didn’t get back to the Live Yet Pre-Recorded or LYPR interview with Jonathan and Drew’s, Who Couldn’t, In a Million LifeTimes, Possibly Be the Real Property Brothers or JDWCIMLTPBRPB here on “our” ‘A Live Streaming Good Time Television Hour!’ To TheJefferys, we promised to finish their interview!
SPW: Scheduling difficulties! We’ll get back to it at a later date!
SMC: Kinda like a Wardrobe Malfunction or WM, Warren?
SPW: Exactly!