Don't Say the "M" Word!

 Whoever enters here honors me; whoever doesn’t- pleases me.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

          

     Com.com Live Streaming Service: CCLSS

                          Episode VI of:

 Don’t Say the “M” Word!

         

      A Live Streaming Good Time Television Hour

MSC: Hello again! And to all “our” lovely cherished “VIEWERS” out there! Welcome back! I’m Ms. Show Censure or MSC!

         W: And I’m Warren Williams, the show’s flunky!

         MSC: That’s correct lovely cherished “VIEWERS” Warren’s role might be limited but it’s certainly needed!

         W: Glad that I’m here to make you smile! Because Cen or C! You’ve got a friend in me!

         MSC: And that a fine segue right into “our” fifth and final, at least for now, Corporate Commercial or CC about the Smiling Happy Com.com Package or SHCcP riding the conveyer-belt throughout the Fulfillment Center or FC while the joyously delighted warehouse workers look-on in whimsical, somewhat capricious astonishment! Simply amazing!

         W: To be certain it is! Cen or C?

         MSC: What?

W: The commercial please!

         MSC: Sorry! I was mentally picturing that happy little fellow breezingly moving about the FC or Fulfillment Center just having the time of his life! Amazing!

         W: To be certain he, that is the package, is having the time of “its” life! The commercial please!

         MSC: No need to be snarky with me Warren! A fantasy’s a fantasy! We needn’t be so literal all the time! Please, lovely cherished “VIEWERS” enjoy the Corporate Commercial or CC!

         Corporate Commercial:

As the Smiling Happy Com.com Package or SHCcP once again moves into attack position on the conveyer-belt at the speed of light whereas all-hands-on-deck attempt to keep up the record setting pace a call goes forth to all those fool-hearty beaten down barely contented trying to be cheerful while ecstatically encouraging a delighted if not downright jovial dancing nail-in-the-foot fast-tracked to the max over-worked/under-paid stressed-out downtrodden listless drug induced always crying almost falling down warehouse workers harrowing in offensive if not hurtful disconcerting pain who look on as the Smiling Happy Com.com Package or SHCcP passes them by with its Bemused Smirk or BS letting all know that they’re truly Screwed or Sd while music blasts away their brains and a song’s being heard by those who really don’t give a shit or could care a hairy-assed rat because their collective working conditions in the sweltering heat freezing cold morally questionable ethically denounced soulfully crushing somewhat shocking odiously hateful hell-on-earth matter of fact vomiting it’s guts out socially connected disease festering bed sores encrusted with various contaminants of callous maliciousness sautéed in pitiless cruelty while spitefully laced in offensive meanness; we hear, still blasting “our” non-refundable no long able to comprehend brains out:

You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me When the road looks rough ahead And you’re miles and miles from your nice warm bed You just remember what your old pal said Boy you’ve got a friend in me Yeah you've got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me You got troubles and I got ‘em too There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you We stick together, we can see it through ‘Cause you’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me And as the years go by Our friendship will never die You’re gonna see it's our destiny You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me

MSC: Everybody sing!

         MSC&W&W: You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me When the road looks rough ahead And you’re miles and miles from your nice warm bed You just remember what your old pal said Boy you’ve got a friend in me Yeah you've got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me You got troubles and I got ‘em too There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you We stick together, we can see it through ‘Cause you’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me And as the years go by Our friendship will never die You’re gonna see it's our destiny You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me

         MSC: Need just a little more gusto from Warren!

MSC&W&W: You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me When the road looks rough ahead And you’re miles and miles from your nice warm bed You just remember what your old pal said Boy you’ve got a friend in me Yeah you've got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me You got troubles and I got ‘em too There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you We stick together, we can see it through ‘Cause you’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me And as the years go by Our friendship will never die You’re gonna see it's our destiny You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me!

MSC: Now wasn’t that just so? I don’t know?

         W: Friendly or F?

MSC: Yes! Friendly or F! Kind of! Makes you wanna sing!

         W: Please! Not again!

         W: Some Good Ole Fashioned Chinese Green Tea or GOFCGT sold by Mother Eu-funh or Playful Phoenix, a Mom and Pop Corner Tea Store in Hong Kong, China or MEPPMPCTSHKC and popcorn hons?

         MSC&W: Yes please!

         W: Get right to it! What dears you two are!

         MSC&W: Thank you!

         MSC: Now today! We have just such a, how shall I put it? Yes! Special Show or SS for you “our” lovely cherished “VIEWERS”!

         W: So what’s on tap Cen or C? ‘Cause I know for certain its going to be flowing!

         MSC: Why are you smiling Warren?

         W: ‘Cause I’m just so happy and Friendly or Fd!

         MSC: That’s the spirit Warren! Everybody sing!

         W: Not the song again! Please!

         MSC&W&W: You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me When the road looks rough ahead And you’re miles and miles from your nice warm bed You just remember what your old pal said Boy you’ve got a friend in me Yeah you've got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me You got troubles and I got ‘em too There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you We stick together, we can see it through ‘Cause you’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me And as the years go by Our friendship will never die You’re gonna see it's our destiny You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me You’ve got a friend in me!

         MSC: It makes you just so, I don’t know? Yes! Happy to be alive!

         W: You mean like those Wonderful Warehouse Workers Watching or WWWW as the Smiling Happy Com.com Package or SHCcP passes them by with its Bemused Smirk or BS letting them all know that they’re truly Screwed or Sd?

         MSC: Exactly!

         W: Wonderful! (I Can’t Really Suppose That She Actually Said Yet Truly Believes That: Sarcasm)!

         MSC: No doubt! Now! Today we’re going remote “live” to Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada where the not so happy to be the counterfeit Property Brothers are standing by to be interviewed!

         W: Oh this’ gonna be fun!

         MSC: Truly! Okay than! Please come in Remote Live Guy or RLG!

         RLG: God damn its cold!

         MSC: How’s the weather there Guy?

         RLG: Is she freaking kidding me? Warren?

         W: What guy?

         RLG: I’m not gonna forget this Warren! You mother…

         MSC: Sorry! But I’m gonna have to C or Censure that one!

         W: Money in the Swear Word Jar or SWJ Guy!

         RLG: Let me come back to that nice warm Café and I’ll put some money in the Fing…

         MSC: That’s another C or Censure for you Guy!

         W: And not to worry Guy! You can us Pay Pal or PP to pay your fine!

         RLG: Warren! Could you at least stop laughing?

         W: Sorry Guy! No can do! Now please! Send in your fine!

         RLG: It’s in the mail!

         MSC: So Guy! What’s the temperature there in Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada?

         RLG: It’s so freaking cold that we actually…

         MSC: “We” Guy?

         W: There’s a budget concern here on our end! Here in this nice warm and comfy café!

         W: Some more Good Ole Fashioned Chinese Green Tea or GOFCGT sold by Mother Eu-funh or Playful Phoenix, a Mom and Pop Corner Tea Store in Hong Kong, China or MEPPMPCTSHKC and popcorn hons?

         RLG: Oh God dammit guys! Wanna knock it off! The “we” includes my Camera Gal or CG!

         W: Camera Gal or CG? What’s up Guy?

RLG:  What? You think I’m doing this as a selfie? And by the way! Could “we” also get some of that Good Ole Fashioned Chinese Green Tea or GOFCGT sold by Mother Eu-funh or Playful Phoenix, a Mom and Pop Corner Tea Store in Hong Kong, China or MEPPMPCTSHKC and popcorn please?

         W: Sorry! No deliveries! In café only!

         W: Could I please get some more of that Good Ole Fashioned Chinese Green Tea or GOFCGT sold by Mother Eu-funh or Playful Phoenix, a Mom and Pop Corner Tea Store in Hong Kong, China or MEPPMPCTSHKC and popcorn hons?

         W: Would be a please Warren! What a nice boy!

         W: Good Ole Fashioned Chinese Green Tea or GOFCGT sold by Mother Eu-funh or Playful Phoenix, a Mom and Pop Corner Tea Store in Hong Kong, China or MEPPMPCTSHKC and popcorn! Both steaming hot! Really delicious!

         CG: Hey Guy! Wanna get this going! Freezing my Ts off here!

         MSC: Thank you young lady for being discrete!

         CG: Discrete nothing! Let’s get the interview and get back inside! Just watched a Polar Bear or PB strolling down the street with ear-muffs, mittens and a scarf on! She keeps eyeing her cubs with this ‘get your asses moving boys so we can get inside the freaking house ‘cause its so God damned cold here in Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada where the not so happy to be the counterfeit Property Brothers are standing by to be interviewed!’ look on her face! And her two cubs are kinda saying back to her: ‘We’re trying our freaking best ‘cause its so freaking cold here in Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada where the not so happy to be the counterfeit Property Brothers are standing by to be interviewed!’ It’s that God damn cold! Guy?

         RLG: What?

         CG: The interview please!

         RLG: Jonathan and Drew who are so obviously not the Property Brothers! Are you guys ready?

         J&D: Hell no!

         RLG: What’s the problem? We’ve gotta get this in one take! It’s so freaking cold! One take!

         CG: Wanna get going people! My Ts can’t take much more of this!

         D: Jonathan?

         J: Yes Drew?

         D: Please tell me this’ a nightmare!

         J: It’s a nightmare! Now please! Can you just stop touching you’re WeWe or WW?

         D: Sorry! I can’t feel anything down there! My WeWe or WW! Just trying to make sure my WeWe or WW’s still there!

         J: Whatever!

         D: I’m gonna cry Jonathan!

         J: Don’t do that again! You’ll get those nasty lookin’ icicles on your face again! We’re finally gonna be on camera!

         D: Sorry!

         RLG: Camera Gal! You wanna stop shooting Drew touching his WeWe or WW? And can you please stop laughing?

         CG: I’ll try! But I don’t think that’s possible!

         RLG: Well can you at least point the camera at his face?

         CG: Will do!

         MSC: All right than! Looks like we’re outta time here as we’ll have to come back to the Interview of Jonathan and Drew Who Couldn’t, In a Million LifeTimes, Possibly Be the Property Brothers or JDWCIMLTPBPB!

         W: So than! Let me get this straight Cen or C! The interview of Jonathan and Drew Who Couldn’t, In a Million LifeTimes, Possibly Be the Property Brothers or JDWCIMLTPBPB will be Live Yet Pre-Recorded or LYPR here on “our” ‘A Live Streaming Good Time Television Hour’? Is that correct, Cen or C?

         MSC: Afraid so Warren! To “our” lovely cherished “VIEWERS” out there! Only one word can describe how “we” feel! Sorry!

         W: I’m not!

         MSC: Whatever! Good Night and Good News or GNGN! I’m so embarrassed Warren!

         W: You’ve a “live” mic there Cen or C!

         MSC: Shit or S!

         W: And that’s more money in the Swear Word Jar or SWJ!

                                               *        *         *

To our cherished listeners out there hopefully still “VIEWING” our Com.com’s Live Streaming Service or CCLSS! I’m the Show’s Censure or C! I wish to thank all of you for tuning in once more while again leaving any semblance of rational thought at the door as for the sake of TheJefferys or TheDonald: How in the hell can you listen to silent radio? Never understood that one! Anyway folks! I’m now here Live while Streaming on Television or LST! (Inspirational Pause!) And please lovely cherished “VIEWERS”, come back next time to hopefully Find-Out-the-Facts or FOFs concerning the nature and cause of our Collective Delusion or CD! Please lovely cherished “VIEWERS” just give us another chance! Stay safe and always watch out for those who would Un-Naturally or UN mock our Blessed Way of Life or BWL: CAPITALISM! And please! Make sure to thank TheJefferys and TheDonald for your Prosperity or P! And so I’m certain! And Good Night Irene!

                                               *        *         *

MSC: Warren?

         W: Yes Cen or C?

         MSC: Why the Great Big Smile or GBS?

         W: I’m so happy I could just sing!

         MSC: And what would you sing Warren?

           W: This! I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity Any girl who isn't me tonight. I feel charming, Oh, so charming It’s alarming how charming I feel! And so pretty That I hardly can believe I’m real. See the pretty girl in that mirror there: Who can that attractive girl be? Such a pretty face, Such a pretty dress, Such a pretty smile, Such a pretty me! I feel stunning And entrancing, Feel like running and dancing for joy, For I’m loved By a pretty wonderful boy! Have you met my good friend Maria, The craziest girl on the block? You’ll know her the minute you see her, She’s the one who is in an advanced state of shock. She thinks she’s in love. She thinks she’s in Spain. She isn't in love, She’s merely insane. It must be the heat Or some rare disease, Or too much to eat Or maybe it’s fleas. Keep away from her, This is not the Maria we know! Modest and pure, Polite and refined, Well-bred and mature And out of her mind! I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty That the city should give me its key. A committee Should be organized to honor me. I feel dizzy, I feel sunny, I feel fizzy and funny and fine, And so pretty, Miss America can just resign! See the pretty girl in that mirror there: What mirror where? Who can that attractive girl be? Which? What? Where? Whom? Such a pretty face, Such a pretty dress, Such a pretty smile, Such a pretty me! Such a pretty me! I feel stunning And entrancing, Feel like running and dancing for joy, For I’m loved By a pretty wonderful boy!

         MSC: Glad to hear Warren!