Don't Say the "M" Word!

Whoever enters here honors me; whoever doesn’t- pleases me.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

          

     Com.com Live Streaming Service:  CCLSS

                            Episode I of:

 Don’t Say the “M” Word!

         

      A Live Streaming Good Time Television Hour

MSC: Hey there lovely cherished “VIEWERS”! Happy Days Are Here Again or HDAHA! And did you “hear” aha, you can hear me! And did you “see” and better still, you can see me! That’s right lovely cherished “VIEWERS” we’re now live on Com.com’s Live Streaming Service or CCLSS! And aren’t we just so pleased that you’ve, as TheNietzsche states: ‘Whoever enters here honors me; whoever doesn’t- pleases me.’ And guess what? I’m saying “we” because I have a very special surprise for all of you! Please welcome back, crawling through the Company Crawl Space or CCS, with his tail between his legs; Mr. Warren Williams or MWW; “our” show’s new producer! Warren Williams, please come on up and join me on “our” new set!

         MWW: Pleased to be back! And I just love what you’ve done with the place! Simply fabulous!

         MSC: Why thank you Warren! And aren’t you a dear! A “dear” in the “head-lights” and so I’ve been told! Didn’t go so well over at Com.com Corporate Headquarters or CCCH now did it!

         MWW: Putting it mildly! I was bent over a table “without” Vaseline or V! And they didn’t even give me a kiss! Com.com’s just a hoot!

         MSC: Sorry you weren’t hired! What a shame! And truly! What a waist of talent if not artistic ability! Again! Sorry Warren!

         MWW: Sorry nothing!

         MSC: What’d mean Warren?

         MWW: Let me tell you and “our” cherished “VIEWERS” and haven’t I been waiting to “hear” and thanks for laughing, that one for quite sometime! Anyway! Let me tell you my story about becoming a “STAR” or S at the Com.com’s Live Streaming Service or CCLSS!

         MSC: Please do Warren! Please do!

         MWW: Step 1! Stand in a long “American Idol” like line where thousands upon thousands of Seattle’s Best or SB have come out hoping for S or Stardom !

         MSC: And having little or no talent whatsoever, you were rejected forthwith?

         MWW: Forthwith?

         MSC: Yes, forthwith! We need to tighten this show up in all areas! Language or L being one such area of concern!

         MWW: Moving “forthwith” or without delay…

         MSC: Thank you Warren!

MWW: Not a problem! Moving to The Line or TL which stretched for miles on end! Hour after hour we moved barely an inch when all of a sudden I heard: ‘Warren! What the hell you doing in that line?’ And I replied: ‘Looking to become a Star or S working for Com.com’s Live Streaming Service or CCLSS!’ And he then replied: ‘Idiot! You’re in the wrong line!’

         MSC: And were you in the wrong line Warren? It certainly wouldn’t surprise me a bit!

         MWW: I was in the wrong line! I was in the ‘Become a Fat Cat Executive Working for TheMightyCom While Being Over-Paid and Pampered’ or BFCEWTheMightyComWBOPP line!

         MSC: So what’d you do?

         MWW: I ignored all the laughing from the hopeful Fat Cats or FCs! I was directed to another entrance on the other side of the building! Stood in that line for a few more days! And just like that, I was led inside the Corporate Headquarters of TheMightyCom!

         MSC: Was it everything you’d imagined, Warren?

         MWW: That and so much more! It was like being in Oz! They even had a Dance Trope or DT there to entertain those of us in line!

         MSC: Were they magnificent Warren?

         MWW: Nah! Not really! Basically Vagrant Vagabond Losers or VVLs who do Street Theater or ST performing for spare change! But there was this one girl there who sang some Lesley Gore song about ‘not knowing me’ and did she ever knock it out of the park!

         MSC: Did she really knock it outta the park Warren?

MWW: Well! Security “knocked” her outta the building! Forget About It or FAI! It was quite a thrill just being in the building what with just happened to that lovely wannbe Lesley Gore Look-a-Like!

         MSC: And then what happened?

         MWW: Few more days in line! I finally made it to the Mobilization Mezzanine or MM where I handed in my application! And guess what?

         MSC: What?

         MWW: I was laughed at and viciously insulted! Something of the nature of: ‘You idiot! Why have you been standing in the wrong line?’

         MSC: What’d you do?

         MWW: I cried! But just a little! Seems like just about everybody at Com.com’s crying, all the time! Anyway, I asked “forthwith”…

         MSC: Thank you Warren! You’re a dear!

MWW: I asked: ‘Please tell me which line I need to be in because I want to become a “STAR” at the Com.com’s Live Streaming Service or CCLSS?’ They all laughed! Some of them fell to the floor! One beastly looking fellow actually wet himself! I was so humiliated! And yes! Their laughter suddenly turned to crying! Kind of a howling if you ask me!

         MSC: So what did you do, Warren?

         MWW: I shouted: ‘Could someone please just tell me the meaning of Christmas?’ They thought that was just a hoot! And this led to a breakthrough!

         MSC: What happened?

         MWW: Security was called! They dragged me out of the building while I screamed from the pain of the constant clubbing all the while the HR Ruffians or HRRs, at Corporate or C, they’re called “Ruffians” something to do with language…

         MSC: You’re simply a dear!

MWW: Thank you! Anyway, they just kept laughing and laughing and laughing! And of course! Crying! And crying! And Crying! Whole lota crying going on!

         MSC: And then what?

         MWW: I got into another line! I was desperate! Hopeful! And I wasn’t raised to be no quitter! I screamed: ‘I ain’t no quitter!’

         MSC: And what happened?

         MWW: Security clubbed me some more! But all of a sudden! This happened!

         MSC: What Warren? What happened?

         MWW: The police finally arrived and…

         MSC: What Warren? What? Waitress! Some more Good Ole Fashioned Chinese Green Tea or GOFCGT sold by Mother Eu-funh or Playful Phoenix, a Mom and Pop Corner Tea Store in Hong Kong, China or MEPPMPCTSHKC and popcorn please!

         W: Get right to it hon!

         MSC: Golly or G! This’ exciting stuff! Thank you! You’re a dear!

         W: Never a problem hon!

         MSC: What then Warren?

         MWW: The Seattle Police Department or SPD, at least five or six of their Burly Brutes or BBs, of the United States of Police Brutality’s Simply a Myth or PBSM here in: America! showed up and dragged while clubbing me for a few city blocks when all of a sudden a Com.com HR Ruffian or HRR come running and shouted: ‘Sorry! Our mistake! He’s here for the: I want to become a “STAR” at the Com.com’s Live Streaming Service or CCLSS!’

         MSC: What happened then?

         MWW: They all laughed some more! And yes! A lot more crying! So I got up from the street and walked back into the building where a HR Ruffian or HRR told me to go through a door where I met another HR Ruffian or HRR who stated rather pleasantly: ‘On your application it says that you produced the ‘A Silent Radio Hour’ live yet prerecorded at The Spank the Monkey Café in the heart of downtown Seattle, Washington of the United States of Gee Ain’t It Grand or GAIG to be in Corporate or C: America! Is this true?’

         MWW: And I said: ‘Yeah!’ And she said: ‘Why didn’t you say that in the first place?’ And I said: ‘Didn’t think it was germane to the issue at hand!’

         MSC: Germane! Well done Warren!

MWW: Thank you! And she came back with: ‘While it is germane to the issue!’ And I came back with: ‘So what the hell’s the issue?’

         MSC: What was the issue Warren? And please dear boy! Language or L! And do I need to set up a Swear Word Jar or JSW?

         MWW: Better set one up! On this show, could come in handy!

         MSC: Okey Dokey!

         MWW: So she stated, quite breezily I might add: ‘We’ve been trying to get a hold of the show’s producer for quite sometime!’ I responded with: ‘Why the hell would you want to do that? It’s a stupid…’ and she laughed while instantly crying while saying: ‘That’s a Stupid Ass Scratching or SAS’ whereas I replied: ‘Show!’ We both laughed and, well, you know; cried a whole bunch! I laughed and cried through the pain from the clubbing while she laughed through her nose! And cried through her teeth! ‘Good Times or GTs!’ I stated rather “succinctly” while laughing and crying some more but still laughing and crying in pain!

         MSC: So why did they want our “former” show’s producer?

         MWW: I asked that very question! Her reply was this: ‘At all costs we want that show dismantled! We sent ICE in there to get the Brothers, Jonathan and Drew who are most assuredly not the Property Brothers but we told ICE that they were the real Property Brothers and that they were here from Canada without Valid Work Visas or VWVs! ICE was furious!’ she said. I said in return: ‘Those two certainly got what they deserved!’

         MSC: So what’s their end game Warren?

         MWW: You! They want a Corporate Whore or CW in there ringing the bells for Corporate Capitalism or CC!

         MSC: You’re making me blush like a school girl Warren!

MWW: Didn’t mean to! Anyway, they want you!

         MSC: I feel so! You know! Special!

         MWW: Oh you are! So! As you say! “Special”!

         MSC: Thank you Warren!

         MWW: Don’t mention it! I mean please! Never mention it!

         MSC: So what happened after you were hired for Com.com’s Live Streaming Service or CCLSS?

         MWW: They forced me to produce some Stupid Ass Scratching Show or SASS about Some Stupid Ass Scratching Monkey or SSASM who supposedly taught humankind to mastur…

         MSC: Don’t Say the “M” Word Warren!

         MWW: Wouldn’t think of it! Don’t want to throw my Hard Earned Cash or HEC into the Swear Word Jar or SWJ!

         MSC: You’re certainly a dear! And we’re certainly outta time! So please, lovely cherished “VIEWERS” that you are! Come back next time when we explore this supposed monkey who evidently taught humankind The Art & Science of Mastur…

         MWW: Don’t Say the “M” Word!

         MSC: Wouldn’t think of it dear boy!

         MSC&MWW: Good night!

                                                *        *         *

To our cherished listeners out there hopefully still “VIEWING”  our ‘Com.com’s Live Streaming Service or CCLSS!’ I’m the Show’s Censure or C! I wish to thank all of you for tuning in once more while once again leaving any semblance of rational thought at the door as for the sake of TheJefferys or TheDonald: How in the hell can you listen to silent radio? Never understood that one! Anyway folks! I’m now here Live while Streaming on Television or LST! (Inspirational Pause!) And please lovely cherished “VIEWERS”, come back next time to hopefully Find-Out-the-Facts or FOFs concerning the nature and cause of our Collective Delusion or CD! Please lovely cherished “VIEWERS”! Stay safe and always watch out for those who would Un-Naturally or UN knock our Blessed Way of Life or BWL: CAPITALISM! And please! Make sure to thank TheJefferys and TheDonald for your Prosperity or P! And so I’m certain! And Good Night Irene!

                                                *        *         *

MSC: Who’s Irene by the way?

         MWW: Long story that one!

         MSC: Well it’s Gotta Stop or GS! Now or N!

         MWW: As you wish!

         MSC: You’re certainly a dear!

         MWW: Just trying to keep my job!

         MSC: So far! So good!