Don't Say the "M" Word!
Whoever enters here honors me; whoever doesn’t- pleases me.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Live Yet Pre-recorded- Episode XXXIV of:
Don’t Say the “M” Word!
A Silent Radio Hour: Live Yet Pre-Recorded
MSC: Welcome back lovely cherished listeners! And isn’t it just the loveliest day EVER here in Seattle, Washington of the United States of Glad We’ve Finally Stood Up To Those Two Ridiculous, Unreasonable, Moronic if not Outlandish, Outrageous, Nonsensical, Bizarre “NOT” the Property Brothers Jonathan and Drew or GWFSUTTTRUMOONBNPBJD: America!
CCHT: What she said!
MSC: Its eighty-five degrees! Sunny, warm and sweet here in the city by TheSound or TS! Hey, it’s the middle of the winter! Just a most fabulous day to be alive! Just makes you wanna sing:
MSC&CCHS: The sun will come out Tomorrow Bet your bottom dollar That tomorrow There'll be sun! Just thinking about Tomorrow Clears away the cobwebs, And the sorrow ‘Til there’s none! When I'm stuck in a day That’s gray, And lonely, I just stick out my chin And Grin, And Say, Oh The sun will come out Tomorrow So ya gotta hang on ‘Til tomorrow Come what may Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya Tomorrow! You’re always a day away When I'm stuck in a day That’s gray, And lonely, I just stick out my chin And Grin, And Say, Oh Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya Tomorrow! You’re always A day A way!
MSC: And that’s just what we’ve done!
CCHS: We’ve invited the sun to come in and have some fun!
MSC: Here at The Spank the Monkey Café in the Eternally Sunny Side of Life or ESSL in lovely downtown Seattle, Washington of the United States of Never Going to be Put Down on this Program Ever Again or NGPDPEA: America! And let’s all sing once more:
MSC&CCHS: Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side Keep on the sunny side of life It will help us every day, it will brighten all the way If we keep on the sunny side of life There’s a dark and a troubled side of life There’s a bright and a sunny side too And tho’ we meet with the darkness and strife The sunny side we also may view Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side Keep on the sunny side of life It will help us every day, it will brighten all the way If we’ll keep on the sunny side of life Tho’ storm and its fury broke today Crushing hopes that we cherish so dear Clouds and storms will in time pass away And the sun again will shine bright and clear Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side Keep on the sunny side of life It will help us every day, it will brighten all the way If we'll keep on the sunny side of life Let us greet with the song of hope each day Tho’ the moments be cloudy or fair Let us trust in our Savior always To keep everyone in His care And keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side Keep on the sunny side of life It will help us every day, it will brighten all the way If we'll keep on the sunny side of life If we'll keep on the sunny side of life
MSC: Now boys and girls! Isn’t that the way things should always be?
CCHS: What she said!
MSC: Indeed! I’m speaking to you…
CCHS: Silent radio! Can’t hear you!
MSC: Oh yes they can because children hear with their hearts! And you, our lovely cherished listeners, and that’s just what you are now! Our lovely cherished listeners! You’re just now our lovely children who listen…
CCHS: Silent radio! Can’t hear you!
MSC: Of course they can! They’re simply children who listen with their hearts! They hear what we have to say day and night! Night and day! Commerce is King of CK! All hail the King of Commerce or KC!
CCHS: All praise to the Kings of Commerce or KC! All hail TheJefferys! CEO and founder of Com.com the online retail giant Headquartered in the heart of Seattle, Washington of the United States of Don’t Ever Get On The Bad Side of TheBoss or DEGOTBSTheBoss, Bruce Jefferys or BJ: America!
MSC: Now aren’t those two boys’ just sweet-hearts! Anyway boys and girls! It’s Time to Stay On Task or TSOT! No more TOT or Time Off Task here in our Lovely Land or LL: America! Here on “OUR” show which will from this moment forward be Live Streaming Television or LST, and so, well, ever so “friendly” to the Forces For Corporate Capitalism or FFCC! Boys?
CCHS: Yes?
MSC: Why’s “OUR” show going to be, from this moment forward, Live Streaming Television or LST, and so, well, ever so “friendly” to the Forces For Corporate Capitalism or FFCC?
CCHS: Because from this moment moving forward, we now have Corporate Sponsors or CSs! Hey! We’re now Streaming On the Internet or SOI!
MSC: That’s right boys and girls! We’ve hit the Big Time or BT! The Mother-Load or ML’s come in! The money’s gonna flow like a Roaring River or RR! Look out HGTV! We’re coming after you!
CCHS: So now then! Let’s hear from our first Corporate Sponsor or CS!
MSC: Now what a coincidence! Seems that TheMightyHGTV wants a sit-down! Frightened are we?
TheMightyHGTV: Nah! We’re just lookin’, yah know, for a Little Cooperation or LC! Yah know! Between Corporate Elite or CE! Forget About It or FAI!
MSC: Go on?
TheMightyHGTV: Forget About It or FAI! Why should our two families, TheMightyCom, who we know’s running TheShow or TheShow, and TheMightyHGTV, yah know, share the Seattle, Washington of the United States of The Hell We’re Mobbed Up or THWMU: American! Market or AM!
MSC: I like the sound of your Straight-Talk or ST!
TheMightyHGTV: Forget About It or FAI! Well we like the look of those two scrapping young Irish-Looking or IL lads sitting there just kinda, yah know, drooling, looking for a little, yah know, Physical Action or PA! Brings a, yah know, joyful tear to my eye! Golly Gee or GG! I’m getting kinda, yah know, sentimental here all of a sudden!
CCHS: You mean! Kinda Mental or M here!
TheMightyHGTV: That too! Forget About It or FAI!
MSC: Forget about what?
TheMightyHGTV: You know! Forget About It or FAI!
MSC: Okey-dokey! It’s all forgotten! Why? Because?
CCHS: We’re Live! Televised! And Streaming On the Internet or SOI!
MSC: Here in the heart of downtown, sunny and warm and eighty-five degrees in the middle of winter no less Seattle, Washington of the United States of I’m Gonna Finally be a Bright, Shinning Star Who’s World Famous and People Will Want My Autograph or IGFBBSSWWFPWWMA: America!
CCHS: Stands to reason! We not only want your Autograph or A! Can we also get a picture of you with the two of us?
MSC: Oh course! What sweet scrapping young Irish-Looking or IL lads sitting there just kinda, yah know, as TheMightyHGTV people say, drooling, looking for a little, yah know, Physical Action or PA! Forget About It or FAI! (Laughs All Around)
CCHS: And speaking about drooling, looking for a little, yah know, Physical Action or PA! Forget About It or FAI! We still haven’t been able to locate that Whistle-Blowing, Two-Timing, Stupid Ass Scratching Mark Oglesby or WBTTSASMO better known as SASMO!
MSC: Haven’t you heard?
CCHS: Heard what?
MSC: SASMO’s hiding in Plain-Sight or PS at an Amazon.com Fulfillment Center or FC Ont6 in Moreno Valley, California which is a part of what’s called The Inland Empire but I say what Bullshit as it’s a nasty, aired desert like region which’s sixty or more miles to the nearest beach: America! And they call it an Empire or E! Nonsense or N! Together or T! We get: TEN!
CCHS: So that’s gonna be TEN hits to the face of SASMO!
MSC: Sounds fine with me! Won’t C or Censure that!
CCHS: Can we get some InTel or IT on SASMO’s Situation or SS? Please!
W: Would you all like some Good Ole Fashioned Chinese Green Tea or GOFCGT sold by Mother Eu-funh or Playful Phoenix, a Mom and Pop Corner Tea Store in Hong Kong, China or MEPPMPCTSHKC and popcorn hons?
MSC: Yes please!
CCHS: No thank you please!
W: What sweet scrapping young Irish-Looking or IL lads sitting there just kinda, yah know, as TheMightyHGTV people say, drooling, looking for a little, yah know, Physical Action or PA! Forget About It or FAI! (Laughs All Around)
CCHS: Might we be able to get some cheese-burgers, fries and domestic beers please? We only drink: American!
W: Sorry my sweet boys who are still kinda sweet while being scrapping young Irish-Looking or IL lads sitting there just kinda, yah know, as TheMightyHGTV people might say, drooling, looking for a little, yah know, Physical Action or PA! Forget About It or FAI! (More Laughs All Around) but you’ll have to go get or send out for that request as we do not provide any Animal Products or APs or Alcoholic Beverages or ABs here at The Spank the Monkey Café in the very heart of downtown Seattle, Washington kitty-corner to the online retail giant Com.com Corporate Postquarters or CCCP in the United States of Better Face the Facts Concerning the Use of Animal Products Not to Mention the Growing Consumption of Alcoholic Beverages Due to the Growing Extreme Poverty Brought On By The Austerity Nation or BFFCUAPNMGCABDGEPBOBTAN: entitled: America! Again my sweet boys who are still kinda of scrapping young Irish-Looking or IL lads sitting there just kinda, yah know, as TheMightyHGTV people might say, drooling, looking for a little, yah know, Physical Action or PA! Forget About It or FAI! (More Laughs All Around)
CCHS: Not a problem dear lady! We’ll order in!
W: Okey-Dokey!
CCHS: That InTel or IT, please?
MSC: Best I can do is re-read a fun “fan” letter that SASMO sent into the show on our last Episode of ‘A Silent Radio Hour’ live yet pre-recorded here at The Spank the Monkey Café in the heart of downtown Seattle, Washington in the United States of Never Tell Me a Little Austerity’s Not Good for the Soul of Those Who are Sick, Lame and/or Lazy and Just Need a Little Motivation to get That Little Engine Going or NTMLANGSTWSLLJNLMTLEG: America!
CCHS: Wow! Now could you just please re-read the letter?
MSC Okey-Dokey! And here we go: SASMO writes: ‘Hey guys! Having a Jolly Good Time or JGT here where I’m hiding in plain-sight from the Com.com Hit Squad or CCHS at the Amazon.com Ont6 Fulfillment Center or FC in Moreno Valley, California of the United States of they don’t pay me enough for this Stupid Ass Scratching Inept, Totally-Useless, Sneering in Meritocracy, Hopelessly Devouring, Mind Numbing, Completely Unskilled, Bungling; Futile, Ineffectual, Inadequate, Valueless if not Insignificant, once again for the record; Stupid Ass Scratching Job or SASITUSMHDMNCUBFIIVISASJ: America! Listen up! How am I supposed to pay rent? Buy food? Pay the utilities? Gas for my car? Repairs for my car? Insurance for my car? Hey I know! The car’s broken down so hey everybody! That problem’s solved! To TheJefferys! (I don’t subscribe to TheDonald! Now way! No How!) TheAmazon or TA whips us like dogs! Talks to us as if we’re children (not that I’d ever speak to a child as the way they speak to us)! They measure ever second of ever damn day and constantly scream: Time Off Task! Time Off Task! Or TOT! All the while they, that is, our “So-Called” Leadership or SCL sits on their Collective Pompous Asses or CPAs continually, forever watching their Techno-Screens or TSs just waiting to pounce on those unsuspecting unfortunates who have fallen behind in their numbers! All the while they force us to shorten and shorten our breaks while they, as mentioned above, remain sitting on their Collective Pompous Asses or CPAs still continually watching their Techno-Screens or TSs and ever waiting to pounce on any and all who are not making their ever increasing Productivity Numbers or PNs! And to Hell with Safety or HS! All the while The Safety Squad’s or SS being hammered by Operations or the Big O or BO who makes it infinitely clear that numbers are, excuse the pun, Number One or NO! Personally, I think they’re Number Two or NT! But hey! I’m just a rebellious, lowly little loner of a “picker” who’s Sick, Lame and/or Lazy or SSL (military talk by the way)! So who cares? But I digress! And last but not least! They expect a form of gratitude which one might give to some deity out there somewhere! Personally, I really don’t understand any of that Religion Talk or RT even though I’m a Certified Trained Theologian or CTT with a Master of Arts in Religion or MAR from Azusa Pacific University or APU (please read some of my fine non-fiction books concerning Religion or R, they’re very exceptional if not superior works of lunacy! And Oh By Golly or OBG aren’t all of you so very much impressed by all of this? May TheJefferys [I’ll never subscribe to TheDonald! Now way! No How!] be praised for his mercy!) One more thing! It ain’t really that bad here at the FC! The coffee and tea are free (although I much prefer Good Ole Fashioned Chinese Green Tea or GOFCGT sold by Mother Eu-funh or Playful Phoenix, a Mom and Pop Corner Tea Store in Hong Kong, China or MEPPMPCTSHKC!) The Ambiance of the FC’s To Die For or TAFCTDF! Sincerely, Mark, don’t call me SASMO! Oglesby: (login: moglesby!)!’
CCHS: Sound like A True Belly-Acher or ATBA if you ask us!
MSC: Just what I was saying! The Working Class or TWC’s made up of The UnGrateful Dead or TUGD! Un-Couth or UC, all of theme!
CCHS: What she said!
MSC: Hope that was helpful?
CCHS: A tough proposition getting into the Amazon.com Fulfillment Center or FC what with its Prison-Like or PL Security or S, but hey, it can be done! Never Impossible or NI!
MSC: And then?
CCHS: We do our hit on that Whistle-Blowing, Two-Timing, Stupid Ass Scratching Mark Oglesby or WBTTSASMO better known as SASMO!
MSC: And that’s TEN hits to the face of SASMO?
CCHS: Ten Very Hard Hits or TVHHs to the face of SASMO!
MSC: Very well then! But we’ve run our course for today and we’re all outta time and ready to tuck you, our lovely cherished listeners, into to bed for the night! But sorry, no story for tonight as we’re all outta time!
CCHS: GoshDarn or GD! We wanted, so very badly, a story! Tell us a story!
MSC: Sorry my sweet boys who are still kinda of scrapping young Irish-Looking or IL lads sitting there just kinda, yah know, as TheMightyHGTV people might say, drooling, looking for a little, yah know, Physical Action or PA! Forget About It or FAI! (Continued Laughs All Around) but we are outta time! But Next Time or BNT, I’ll tell you two a good natured tale of the True Meaning of Austerity or TMA and why it’s so needed here in America now more than ever!
CCHS: We can hardly wait!
* * *
To our cherished listeners out there hopefully still listening to our ‘A Live Silent Radio Hour’ which’s live yet pre-recorded; I’m the Show’s Censure or C who’s filling in for Jonathan who’s standing in for our Show’s Producer or SP Warren Williams who’s trying to make it in the Big Time or BT over at the Com.com Corporate Headquarters or CCCHs where he hopes to Work Hard or WH! Have Fun or HF! And Make History or MH! But Jonathan would still say: ‘Bullshit!’ Anyway! I wish to thank all of you for tuning in once more while once again leaving any semblance of rational thought at the door as for the sake of TheJefferys or TheDonald: How in the hell can you listen to silent radio? But hey folks! I’m Now here Live Streaming Television or LST but I simply don’t understand any of this as its much too unbelievable even for me to comprehend! (Inspirational Pause!) And please lovely cherished listeners, come back next time to hopefully Find-Out-the-Facts or FOFs concerning the nature and cause of our Collective Delusion or CD! Please lovely cherished listeners! Stay safe and always watch out for those who would Un-Naturally or UN knock our Blessed Way of Life or BWL: CAPITALISM! And please! Make sure to thank TheJefferys and TheDonald for your Prosperity or P! And so I’m certain! And Good Night Irene!
* * *
MSC: Can you sweet boys who are still kinda of scrapping young Irish-Looking or IL lads sitting there just kinda, yah know, as TheMightyHGTV people might say, drooling, looking for a little, yah know, Physical Action or PA! Forget About It or FAI! (Continued Laughs All Around) stay for our next Episode of ‘Live Streaming Television’ or LST or do you need to hit, sorry about the un-intentioned pun, the road leading to Moreno Valley, California and that Whistle-Blowing, Two-Timing, Stupid Ass Scratching Mark Oglesby or WBTTSASMO better known as SASMO?
CCHS: Forget About It or FGI! We can stay for one more Episode of ‘Live Streaming Television’ or LST before we, excuse the pun, hit the road! We want a story! Tell us a story!
MSC: What sweet boys who are still kinda of scrapping young Irish-Looking or IL lads sitting there just kinda, yah know, as TheMightyHGTV people might say, drooling, looking for a little, yah know, Physical Action or PA! Forget About It or FAI! (Continued Laughs All Around)
CCHS: Good night! And sweet dreams: America!