Don't Say the "M" Word!
Whoever enters here honors me; whoever doesn’t- pleases me.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Live Yet Pre-recorded- Episode XXVIII of:
Don’t Say the “M” Word!
A Silent Radio Hour: Live Yet Pre-Recorded
MWW: Cherished audience, welcome back! I’m Warren Williams ‘A Silent Radio Hour’s’ producer and I’m here with the actual Property Brothers Jonathan and Drew who both just happened to show up at one of our doors!
PBJ: And however that happened, God only knows!
MWW: Jonathan?
PBJ: Yes Warren?
MWW: That’s ‘however TheJefferys knows!’
PBD: Who’s this ‘TheJefferys,’ Jonathan?
PBJ: How the hell should I know? I’m reading from some God damned script and that’s about the sum total of my knowledge concerning this stupid…
MWW: That’s: Ass Scratchingly Stupid or ASS, Jonathan!
PBJ: Yeah! Whatever! It’s a big ASS to me!
PBD: Now as to TheJefferys? Warren?
MWW: He’s the founder and CEO of Com.com the mighty online retail giant headquartered in downtown Seattle, Washington of the United States of wobbling, waiting to fall down: America! here at The Spank the Monkey Café kitty corner to the Corporate Headquarters or CH of the above stated: TheMightyCom!
PBJ: So what!
MWW: TheJefferys is the richest human person in the history of human people!
PBJ: How rich?
MWW: In the trillions!
PBJ&PBD: To TheJefferys! We’re Not Worry or WNW!
MWW: None of us are! Anyway! On to day’s show! Property Brother Jonathan if you please!
PBJ: What?
MWW: Continue to read!
PBD: Right!
The Little People, the Pits and Myron:
PBJ: ‘Who’s Myron?’ Elizabeth Myers, sensing their nervousness, was concerned but more than a little intrigued as the subject of “Myron” welled-up inside her plastic, pre-fabricated exterior which hid her true inner nature which desperately desired adventure. This “Myron” seemed dangerous and she wanted more.
PBD: How much more?
PBJ: This much more! And yes, dangerous “Myron” was but not in the way that Elizabeth Myers would ever have imagined. For you see, “Myron” was the only actual living Minotaur of ancient Greek mythological fame still living here on planet Earth.
PBD: Golly!
PBJ: You got that brother! Golly! For in the past the Minotaur roamed a fiendishly intricate maze created by Daedalus to house this furious beast.
PBD: How furious Jonathan?
PBJ: Listen! It was a supposed myth which told the story of a complex series of corridors inspired by tales of the historic palace of Knossos.
PBD: Really?
PBJ: Yes, really! The name Labyrinth comes from the word “labrys” meaning “double-ax” and the dynasty of King Minos was referred to as the “House of the Double-Ax”.
PBD: Exciting stuff this is! Hum!
PBJ: Yes! Extremely exciting!
PBD: How about some more tea and popcorn? Please!
W: Would be my pleasure! Such a sweet boy!
BPD: Golly!
PBJ: Now continuing! Clearly there’s historical evidence behind the myth as many images of double-axes have been found by archaeologists on Crete from a time even earlier than that of the mythological heroes.
PBD: And how’s this important, Jonathan?
PBJ: Because such images are far older still, being found on European icons from as long ago as 5000 B.C.E. And before they became stylized as double-headed axes with curved blades, it is clear they depicted butterflies.
PBD: What’s so important about butterflies, Jonathan?
PBJ: Because of its transformation from a caterpillar, the butterfly represented change and rebirth to the people of the Stone Age and therefore a revered form of the Great Goddess or GG herself. It’s been said that Isabelle the Goth has a tattoo of a butterfly just above her shaved area just below her belly-button! Wow!
PBD: Who’s Isabelle the Goth? And what’s just below her belly-button, Jonathan?
PBJ: Really? Drew? Really?
PBD: What?
PBJ: Don’t know who this Isabelle the Goth is but I do like the name and I’d love to check out that which’s below her belly-button!
MWW: We’d all love to Jonathan!
MSC: Dido to that fellows!
PBD: What?
PBJ: Anyway! She’s here in the notes forced fed to me by the show’s producer Mr. Warren Williams or MWW!
MWW: And moving on!
PBJ: Other images of the Great Goddess or GG in the form of a snake are characteristic of the Minoan civilization.
PBD: Why snakes Jonathan?
PBJ: Snakes were sacred symbols because they shed their skin and were in a since reborn, and the rebirth of their crops and edible plants in the springtime was humankind’s greatest preoccupation; man’s earliest Commerce or C! So a snake might be worshipped or serve a ceremonial role either as a symbol or an embodiment of the Great Goddess or GG herself!
MSC: A little phallic to be of the Great Goddess or GG don’t you think?
PBJ: Just reading from the notes! Reading from the notes!
MWW: So continue reading, Jonathan!
BPJ: Crete was the very last outpost of Female-Oriented Religion or FOR, the Cult of the Vagina or CV, and the point of contact between prehistoric Europe and the world of the ancient Greeks.
PBD: Clever chaps those Greeks!
PBJ: Right! Minoan Crete is a window through which we can look back at the spiritual roots of Europe. According to myth, Zeus was born on Crete and thus the Greeks acknowledge a more ancient spiritual heritage.
PBD: Again! Clever chaps those Greeks!
MWW: I’ve heard that said in the past!
PBJ: Moving on! The mythology of ancient Israel also had the snake symbol in the Garden of Eden and its Cult of the Penis or CP as well as many other instances such as the Snake Symbol or SS on the “Staff” or S of Moses which became the healing power of the physician!
PBD: Super!
PBJ: That’s Super Duper or SD brother! Back on point please!
PBD: Okey-Dokey or OD there Jonathan!
PBJ: Right! The Minotaur being neither fully human, animal and/or fully god, the ambiguity of the figure of the Minotaur placed it outside the conventional bounds of norms, morals and reason. The monstrous double became a mythology inscribed both for the violence of the Last Sacrificial Rites or LSRs and its Cultural Oddness or CO, part bull part man, the foundational text of western society; the foundational text of all that’s important!
PBD: All important what Jonathan? All important what?
PBJ: COMMERCE! All important COMMERCE! The real Cult of the Penis or CP!
PBD: And what’s all this to do with Isabelle and what’s below her belly-button, Jonathan?
PBJ: Warren?
MWW: Yes?
PBJ: Is this necessary?
MWW: Keep reading and let’s see what transpires! You know, another word for COMMERCE or Penis!
PBJ: Whatever! The Minotaur’s a representation of otherness or perhaps a misunderstanding of basic social values and thusly, it becomes a problem.
PBD: How so Jonathan?
PBJ: To some others, it is a form of uniqueness in its transcendent element and its loss would seriously impoverish a world culture of increasing sameness which is truly arrogant if not narcissistic.
PBD: Little lost here guys!
MWW: More than a little!
PBJ: Say it isn’t so! Continuing! But it can be argued that ethics is constituted as an inexorable affirmative response to different identities and not an inability to understand or totalize the other as it’s this state of being different especially with respect to one’s identity within a culture.
PBJ: ‘The Monkey and its mastur…’
MSC: Don’t Say the “M” Word!
PBJ: What?
MWW: We don’t us that word here!
PBD: What word?
MSC: The Mastur…
MWW: Don’t Say the “M” Word!
PBD: Still lost here people!
PBJ: Right! ‘The “M” myth was never intended to be a socially incapacitating behavior which led humankind into its obsession with over-consumption but as the saying goes: Shit Happens or SH! and therefore here we are whacking ourselves incessantly as we seek some kind of peace of mind in this world of buying and selling!’ as stated by Bill Biscuits who was ready to go into his song and dance concerning the Myth of the Monkey or MM as explained to him by Senior Outbound Operations Manager Milton Melville, who or whatever that is, after his long winded explanation concerning the Minotaur but was rushed back to present day Seattle, Washington, United States of becoming very tiny indeed: America! by Philip who never liked nor believed in the monkey fable.
PBD: More lost here guys!
MWW: An understatement to be certain!
PBJ: ‘Back to Myron if we might?’ as Philip wanted the story finished for Elizabeth Myers.
PBD: Does the story get finished for Elizabeth Myers, Jonathan?
MWW: Really Jonathan? And what did your parents think when he was born?
PBJ: Whatever! Going forward! Please! Okay and Yes! So than what the hell’s an ancient Greek Mythological Creature or GMC…
PBD: Clever chaps those Greeks!
PBJ: Warren?
MWW: He’s your brother, brother!
PBD: What?
PBJ: Attempting to finish here! So what is this clever chap “Myron” doing in the subterranean bowels of the Seattle1 FC or Fulfillment Center at this time in place at the conclusion of the 4th Aeon? A good question to be certain!
PBD: And hopefully, a good answer will appear sometime soon? So then, let us continue along with the Little People or LP.
PBJ: ‘It’s like this,’ stated Philip who’d encountered “Myron” some two years ago when he first started working at the Seattle site.
PBD: What did Philip encounter?
MWW: Really Jonathan! What did your parents have to say for themselves?
PBJ: Here’s Philip’s story!
PBD: More tea and popcorn please!
W: Be right there my sweet boy!
PBJ: Philip was recruited from a traveling “Freak Show” or FS supernaturally tagged as the “House of Horror” or HH whose clientele normally hailed from the backwoods of Northwestern Washington but sometimes included the curious aristocrat seeking an unusual evening of abstruse if not melancholy entertainment.
MWW: I’ve heard some very strange stories about those back woods!
PBJ: Who hasn’t?
PBD: I haven’t!
MWW: Really Jonathan! Talk to the parents!
PBJ: He’s adopted! Swear to TheJefferys!
PBD: What?
MWW: Twins Jonathan! Your twin brothers!
PBJ: I know! I know!
MWW: Moving forward to the finish!
PBJ: And it just so happens that a recruiting executive from Human Relations or HR was enthralled by Philip’s performance that night and asked if they might have dinner together after the show. Over drinks and appetizers a deal was struck as payment was ensured for Philip’s release from the “Freak Show” or FS into the charge of Com.com and a two year stint in the “Pits” which by the way would be completed on the eve of the 5th Aeon.
MWW&MSC&W&PBD: The 5th Aeon! Sinister music in the background!
PBJ: Silent radio people!
MWW&MSC&W&PBD: Whatever!
PBJ: ‘Another Bud-light!’ roared Philip who was absolutely giddy at the thought of leaving the show and going to work for the TheMightyCom. And whatever the “Pits” might be or possibly mean, who cares, the “Freak Show” or FS had owned his ass but now it didn’t!
PBD: Amen to that! Amen!
PBJ: Whatever! ‘I had turned right at section twenty-five dash delta when I should have turned left!’ Philip lowered his head as he still couldn’t believe that he’d made such a stupid, Ass Scratchingly Stupid or (dumb) ASS mistake. ‘Anyway, I came upon what appeared to be a cow if you can believe it…
PBD: I believe! I believe!
PBJ: …locked inside some kind of elliptical, elucidated cage!’ Philip shook his head in disbelief.
PBD: Did Philip believe Jonathan? Did he believe?
PBJ: ‘First it was there and then it wasn’t!’ He stopped to catch his excited breath. ‘I heard a voice calling out in pain!’
PBD: What did the voice say Jonathan? What did it say?
PBJ: ‘Release me! I beg of you!’ Philip looked everywhere but inside the cage and could see no one. And again the voice cried out: ‘For pity’s sake, let me free!’
PBD: Set him free Philip! Set him free!
MWW: ‘Free free! Set them free...’
MSC: No Singing Zone or NSZ Warren!
MWW: Sorry! To the Finish Line or FL, Jonathan, please!
PBJ: ‘I was lost and nearly out of my mind when I actually looked inside the cage and there he was.’
PBD: Who was there Jonathan? Who was there?
PBJ: Philip stopped to catch his breath once again as he gathered himself in order to finish his bizarre tale of the Minotaur “Myron”.
PBD: Finish the story! Finish it!
PBJ: ‘When our eyes met we both know instantly that we came from the same mold, freaks, those who are loathed by the daylight dwellers who entertained themselves through the misery of those living in shadows. We became friends then and there as “Myron” became our protector down in the “Pits!” We provide him with comfort, friendship, food and drink and he shelters us from the storms of modern living.’ After a short regretful pause, Philip continued once again.
PBD: What did he say Jonathan? What did he say?
PBJ: ‘I know the pain of being a freak! The looks from adults and children alike. I lived with the shouts coming from the day dwellers: ‘You disgust me little man! Go away!’ And when people ask about the existence of a creature called a Minotaur, I can testify with absolute certainty that yes, at least one’s still alive if only in the nightmares of the day dwellers. God bless the Minotaur who saved us from the laughter and ridicule of the true freaks of existence.’
MWW: You mean! Bless TheJefferys!
PBJ: Right! Bless TheJefferys! Anyway!
PBD: Sounds kind of like that Com.com company and its Fulfillment Centers or FCs?
MWW: Think he’s finally on to something, Jonathan?
PBD: Thank you Warren!
MWW: Not a problem Drew!
PBJ: Whatever! ‘I’m sorry Philip,’ Elizabeth Myers beginning to walk away. ‘I‘ve a Flow Meeting or FM to attend! Thanks for the lollipop, it was sweet!’ She climbed the Stairway to Heaven or SH as a “Life Worth Living” or LWL continued to attach itself leechlike to her extremely fragile if not arduous soul.
PBD: What’s a “Life Worth Living” or LWL, Warren?
MWW: Possibly we can deal with that on our next show?
PBD: Looking forward to it! And how does the story end Jonathan? How does it end?
PBJ: Like this, Drew! Like this! And behind her, shouts roared in sarcastic delight as the Little People or LP knew an uptight, constipated, even in silk, Stupid Ass Scratching Day Dweller or SASDD when they engaged one! And they sang, loudly: ‘Follow the Yellow Brick Road! Fellow, follow, follow, follow, Follow the Yellow Brick Road! You’re off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz!’ The laughter continued as it echoed off in the distance.
PBD: I like the Little People or LP Jonathan!
PBJ: We all do Drew! We all do! Anyway, here’s the question then cherished listeners! Would this quid essential “gray” person truly reach Oz Consciousness or OC in the upcoming Aeon? But more of this later in our ‘A Silent Radio Hour’ as the words and music from ‘The Wizard of Oz’ song ‘Open’ rang in the ears of Elizabeth Myers as she continued her ascent to the Fulfillment Center Flow Tower or FCFT:
PBJ&PBD&MWW&MSC&W: ‘You're out of the woods You're out of the dark You're out of the night Step into the sun Step into the light Keep straight ahead for the most glorious place On the face of the earth or the sky Hold onto your breath Hold onto your heart Hold onto your hope March up to the gate and bid it open You're out of the woods You're out of the dark You're out of the night Step into the sun Step into the light March up to the gate and bid it open, open!’
PBD: And so the FC or Fulfillment Center’s the best possible place to Step Into the Light or SIL, Warren?
MWW: Must be! Hear it all the time at our Stand-Ups or SUs!
PBD: What’s a Stand-Up or SU, Warren?
MWW: Better not to ask! It’s just better not to ask Drew!
PBD: See you soon cherished listeners!
PBJ: We’re not on TV anymore Drew! They can’t see us!
PBD: Oh darn!
PBJ: Come back next time and well do something relevantly stupid for you! Hopefully?
MWW: That’s Ass Scratchingly Stupid or ASS Jonathan!
PBJ: I know that! And we all Pay the Price or PP!
PBD: Good night everybody! This’ fun Jonathan!
PBJ: Glad you’re having a good time Drew!
* * *
To our cherished audience out there hopefully still listening to our ‘A Live Silent Radio Hour’ which’s live yet pre-recorded; I’m still disappointingly so, the show’s producer Warren Williams and I wish to thank all of you for tuning in once more while once again leaving any semblance of rational thought at the door as for the sake of TheJefferys: How in the hell can you listen to silent radio? I’m still here live yet pre-recorded and I simply don’t understand any of this! ( Inspirational Pause!) And please cherished audience, come back next time to hopefully Find-Out-the-Facts or FOffs concerning the nature and cause of our Collective Delusion or CD! Or hopefully, we’ll come up with something to stir up your interest! Good night Irene!
* * *
PBD: Jonathan?
PBJ: Yes Drew?
PBD: Can we stay here as long as possible?
PBJ: Why would you want to stay here?
PBD: There’s no pressure like at the HGTV!
PBJ: Gotta agree with that brother! Gotta agree with that!