Don't Say the "M" Word!
Open Letter to Jeff Bezos: Founder and CEO of Amazon.com! Voices From the Plantation!
Whoever enters here honors me; whoever doesn’t- pleases me.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Live Yet Pre-recorded- Episode CV of:
Don’t Say the “M” Word!
A Silent Radio Hour: Live Yet Pre-Recorded:
“I understand people believe I'm just a statistic
I say to them I'm different”
10th grader, Antwon Rose
“De l’audace, encore de l’audace, toujours de l’audace!” [“Audacity, audacity, always audacity!”]
-Georges Danton
“The power of the powerless!”
-Vaclav Havel
NSPB: Welcome “our” most cherished listeners! I’m the New Show Producer Becka or NSPB and I’m really excited about today’s Episode or E of “our” ‘A Silent Radio Hour’ live yet pre-recorded here on Reject Square in the Heart of Down-Town Seattle, Washington of the United States of Hey People! Wake-Up to These Corporations Like Amazon.com Who Are Taking Over Here or RSDTSWUSHPWUTCLAcWATOH in: America!
RAT: And so why are you “so” excited about today’s show Becka?
NSPB: TheSASMO will be reading letters written by former and current Warehouse Workers or WWs of TheAmazon’s Plantation System or TAPS…
“Real” living human beings: TAPS! TAPS! TAPS! Time to blow TAPS for TheAmazon Warehouse Workers!
RAT: Righteously!
J&D: Been there!
NSPB: Done that!
“Real” living human beings: Dido!
NSPB: Thank TheBezos children!
“Real” living human beings: Thank you Jeff Bezos!
J: Bad Bezos! Bad dog! Bad dog!
NSPB: Very bad dog indeed! And these stories have been provided to us by GAWKER at gwawker.com! And if you’re an Amazon worker who would like to share your story? Please, feel free to email [email protected].
D: You’re a mean one Mr. Grinch! Jonathan please!
J: This’ gotta be with gusto if not super energy and enthusiasm!
J&D&NSPB&RAT&TheSASMO&“Real” living human beings: ‘You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch [Jeff Bezos!], You really are a heel! You’re as cuddly as a cactus, You’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch [Jeff Bezos!]. You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel! You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch [Jeff Bezos!]. Your heart’s an empty hole! Your brain is full of spiders, You’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch [Jeff Bezos!]. I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole! You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch [Jeff Bezos!]. You have termites in your smile! You have all the tender sweetness Of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch [Jeff Bezos!]. Given the choice between the two of you I’d take the seasick crocodile! You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch [Jeff Bezos!]. You’re a nasty wasty skunk! Your heart is full of unwashed socks, Your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch [Jeff Bezos!]. The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: “Stink! Stank! Stunk!” You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch [Jeff Bezos!]. You’re the king of sinful sots! Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched With moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch [Jeff Bezos!]. Your soul is an appalling dump heap Overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable Mangled up in tangled up knots! You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch [Jeff Bezos!]. With a nauseous super “naus!” You’re a crooked dirty jockey, And you drive a crooked horse, Mr. Grinch [Jeff Bezos!]. You’re a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich With arsenic sauce!’
NSPB: Thank TheBezos children!
“Real” living human beings: Thank you Jeff Bezos!
J: Bad Bezos! Bad dog! Bad dog!
NSPB: And we’re moving on up! Don’t even breath Jonathan of Jonathan and Drew who’ll never! Ever! Not in a ga-zillion lifetimes! Be in the same league as the Property Brothers!
J&D: Oh darn!
NSPB: TheSASMO, please!
True Stories of Life as an Amazon Worker!
Amazon is the future of retailing in America. Earlier this week, we asked the unseen Amazon employees who fill your orders to send us their stories. Here are five of their tales of life at Amazon.
-GAWKER.
What Is Life Like For an Amazon Worker?
TheSASMO: Since Amazon needs no public-facing stores, most of the real work takes place in its massive Fulfillment Centers or FCs ! These huge warehouses strategically located around the country, located in poor areas with high unemployment where low pay’s “acceptable!” A place where orders are filled and shipped! Many workers see these “plantations” as sheer featureless! Limitless acreage of lunacy where life’s like being in prison! Last year, Mac McClelland wrote an illuminating piece on Amazon warehouse work for Mother Jones. Strangely, both these stories prominently featured dildo-packing.
“Real” living human beings: What TheSASMO?
TheSASMO: Amazon will literally sell anything to anyone! They actually sold rolls of toilet paper with the picture of the President of the United States, Barack Obama, printed on it!
“Real” living human beings: What TheSASMO?
TheSASMO: It’s true! I of course refused to pick the order whenever it came into my scanner! These people would sell “their” own mothers, wives and daughters to gain market share! But hey! Online retail’s the future!
RAT: Go for it TheAmazon!
J&D: Unrighteously so!
TheSASMO: To say the least! Unlike traditional big box stores, the employees who make online retailing run are out of sight! Out of mind! And because of this! It’s so important that we hear their stories. Amazon workers don’t seem to share the fierce collective sense of despair that Wal-Mart workers do because they’re in the public eye! Here’s an opportunity to hear what they have to say!
NSPB: And how are we going to accomplish this today!
TheSASMO: Let these Amazon Warehouse Workers or AWW give us their “own” Tale Of Tells or TOT! And without any commentary from “us” and without “any” editing! Please, read “their” stories in their “own” words presented here! And this also means “YOU” Mr. Jeff Bezos!
NSPB: Thank TheBezos children!
“Real” living human beings: Thank you Jeff Bezos!
J: Bad Bezos! Bad dog! Bad dog!
In the freezer!
I was reading your post today, and just about everything, word for word (Almost) was identical. But I'd like to add a few things. When you're in shipping and they double, or triple their workforce over the winter holidays, you're working at times in below zero temps INSIDE the warehouse. when you have like 40 bay doors open for trucks to pull in it gets very cold. Not only that, but for the people they where going to "Keep" of the temps they hire over the holidays, they throw into new jobs with zero training almost. For me, where I started (Sortation) we worked there for almost three months. [Two] of us from our group they opted to keep, they moved us over to stowing (Putting items on the shelves after we received them) they have us about 45 minutes worth of training for the jobs, and after the first day, and not really knowing or being properly trained on how to do our job, the management where threatening to write all the people up that got moved. After that day I never went back. You can't expect someone to do a job that they generally give you a three week "Training period" and expect them to learn in in 45 minutes. Also, when I was there there where not metal detectors in the lunchroom but everyone got a pat-down before they left.
A job, not a career!
I loved my time with amazon. I worked in the Fernley NV warehouse for 90 days at Christmas. It is the hardest job I ever loved. I lost weight, got into better shape than I have been in years and met some people out of my comfort zone. Ever wonder where people with mohawks, full body tattoos and piercings work? I know! Yes, the orientation is mind numbingly boring and safety school is a giggle, but guess what???????? Amazon has to do this to cover their asses because of sue happy whiners, who want an excuse to hire an attorney and get free money. Its a job, not a career. I was an item picker. I would walk 5-15 miles a day. I pulled some freaky things off the shelves to fill peoples orders. I learned a whole lot. People have standing orders for diapers and pet food. Food, candy, make-up, toys and not to mention books, music and calendars!
I also did inventory and gift wrap at Christmas. Yes, there is mandatory overtime. Waaaaa, more money! The "lame" stretching exercises someone wrote about? I liked them, they are good for you. If you aren't happy, go somewhere else. Negative attitudes are not welcome.
Theft? Yes, there are stupid people who thought they could get away with stuff. They were removed from the facility, terminated and filed on. Like anything else in your life, its what you make of it. I chose to make it a positive experience and because of it, I have been hired again for the Christmas season in KS. And next year, unless I hit the lottery, I will apply for a job at the KY facility.
I am part of a group called Camperforce. Full time RV'rs looking to add to their travel income. Most of us are 50+. Short term contracts so we can continue on our journeys! Bottom line, I loved my job at Amazon. I was exhausted and happy. I recommend it. If you managed a high school diploma or GED, can pass a back ground check and a drug test, you can get a job. A JOB not a career!
Mind games!
I have 3 major complaints. They lie to you when you get in the door. They set unrealistic goals. And breaks are very short. I work at the Chester, Virginia warehouse. They paint this picture of it being a fun place. That you get to play games during breaks and have so much fun. The only games they play with you is mind games. That brings me to my 2nd complaint, unrealistic goals. They expect an incredible pace. I was in good shape when I got there, but I was NOT prepared for the miles of walking on concrete every day. My feet hurt so bad, I would have trouble going to sleep, I was in so much pain. My feet have toughened up, but the pay has not.
Another part of unrealistic goals is they have this bonus pay deal, where if the warehouse has no errors, you get a bonus in your paycheck. Of course that never happens and you NEVER see how the other warehouses do. They SAY other warehouses have better numbers, but they do not show you how the warehouses elsewhere calculate it. You just have to take their word for it, that the Chester Virginia warehouse is a bunch of asshole losers.
Breaks, I can only speak as a picker. They say you get two 15 minute breaks and a half hour break, but you are not allowed to leave the floor early. So with 5 minute walk time......... In a ten hour day, you get to sit down for 2 FIVE minute breaks and one 20 minute break.
Temping in “outbound!”
I worked for Amazon for a few months as a temp hire around Christmastime 2012. It was at one of several warehouses they have in the Phoenix area. I worked the overnight shift, which started at 7 PM and ended at 7 AM or whenever they ran out of work and started sending people home.
I was hired through a temp agency. I had my interview with a mouth swab drug test stuck in my mouth. While I was waiting, they were playing a video that said, "Do you go to school? That's great! Just tell us your schedule and we can work around it." Then when I was interviewed I brought up my impending school schedule and the lady scoffed, "We don't work around school schedules." Jeez, fine. I understand if it's that type of job but it sucks that they are disingenuous about it.
It was really hard to be on my feet for that amount of time, but other than that, it wasn't really any different from when I worked at Target as a teenager. They get everyone together to do these stupid stretching exercises at the beginning of shift and again at lunch, and the boss guy yells at everyone about being sure to get back from your break and lunch in time, and reminds everyone about mistakes they need to make sure not to make.
I worked at the warehouse that had mostly big stuff at it, not books and CDS, but housewares, tools, toys, and other larger items. I worked in "outbound," which was what they called the department that handles all the packing and shipping. For some reason I was tapped to work on the oversize box line, which was for things that didn't fit into any of our standard boxes. We saw a lot of tree trimming tools, shovels, ladders and, fishing poles. I operated the custom box machine. So when someone would order something huge or weirdly shaped, it would come down a special line where it was scanned with lasers, the size info was sent to my machine, which spit out a custom-sized piece of cardboard. My job was to tear off the excess cardboard, throw it away, fold the box over, glue the flap down, slap a barcode on it, and put it on the drying rack for the packers. I did this probably 1000 times a night.
Oddly, if someone ordered multiple things from our warehouse and only one of them was very large, EVERYTHING in their order got its own custom box, even if it could fit into a normal box. So if someone ordered a board game, a pack of toilet paper, and a ladder, for instance, they would get three separate boxes delivered with one item each.
Lunch was 30 minutes, and you got two fifteen-minute breaks. And that was 15 mins from the time you left your work area. It could take you 5-10 minutes to get to the break area. We weren't allowed to bring in cell phones, and we had to go through metal detectors on the way in and out, even to the break room.
A complete rundown!
Today sir, I tell you a tale of someone who worked at Amazon not only once, but twice. I won't accuse them of doing terrible things or try to ruin their reputation..(purposely). I am here to give you information and my personal experiences to better help people decide if they want to work there. I started off by doing the application online along with some personality test. All in all, it took about an hour and some change. A pretty long time but I didn't mind. At the time, I was unemployed and in danger of losing my home. Not to mention my wife's income was barely above minimum wage. So after I finished the application I waited. To make a very long story short, 3 weeks later I was told by whoever was at the other end of the phone that they were sorry but the applications were all lost and to reapply at a company called SMX Staffing. After finding the place I applied and went in for the interview. one week later I started my first day. I originally thought that I would be working directly for Amazon but they made sure to tell me multiple times I wasn't an actual "Amazon employee." After showing us around we were directed towards a room where we watched videos for about 2 hours. We were then talked to by a guy about sexual harassment( Funny thing was, I heard he was later fired for sexual harassment.).After the talking and the videos were over they separated everyone into different groups and jobs. The only jobs I did I will list below.
Picker- This was my main job. I started as a picker and I left as a picker. Pickers pick things but they have to do it fast to "make rate". We go around with a little cart to a conveyor belt and grab 2 plastic tubs. With a scanner in one hand and pushing the cart in the other your job is to go around to wherever the scanner tells you and "pick the items" This involves scanning the tub, then the location bar code, searching for the right item (which most of the time is easy to find but sometimes hard) and scanning it. Then doing the same thing for the next 10hours of your day minus the 2 15minute breaks and the 30min lunch break. In my opinion pickers are the most important people at the warehouse...yet they're the lowest on the totem pole. They physically work harder and in worse conditions than any other position. I bought a step calculator that hooks on your pants. Every day as a picker I walked 5 miles MINIMUM. One day I shit you not I walked 12 miles.
Packer- Probably the next worst job at the warehouse. You stand in one spot all day minus the breaks and the lunch break. You put what the pickers "pick" and put it in a box. sounds simple enough right? Heh. the problem with packing is that if other people fuck up (the pickers or the people who are supposed to restock your cardboard boxes) you get way behind and get bitched at. Even the equipment fucked up nonstop. The tape machines jammed and the button that gives you tape for an A3 box would give me one for B2. If you choose this position you will find yourself making up games to keep you from going insane. Like how fast can I pack this box or lets see how many times I can beat the person next to me.
Runner- This was my favorite job. To get this position they want someone who is fast. Basically when pickers don't pick the right item or forget to pick it runners are sent later to grab the item so it can be packed and shipped with everything else on time. You go to a magical place they call "Problem Solving" you stand beside the people on the computers and when they hand you an item a picker missed you are to walk/jog as fast as you can to get the item (they don't like you to actually run) Then when you are done you wait beside the computer until they send you to run again which could be from 5min to 15min later. You can relax and talk to other workers because your not isolated to one spot like the packers or running around trying to make rate like the pickers.
Problem solve- Those fuckers. They do have a deadline for things, but once the work is completed they get to relax until the next deadline comes up. They all sit in nice comfy chairs and get special treatment by the managers, anyone who says otherwise is full of shit.
The WORST things about working there* Rate- As a picker I worked my ass off basically running every day to make rate. For a whole month My scanner sent me to k area which was on one side of the building all the way to the other side B area. It killed my rate since to go back and forth took 10 minutes for 1 item. Meanwhile A fucking 18 year old kid was sent to one area to pick 100 steve job books. They told me that they adjust the rate to make it fair for everyone but when they posted the rates during stretch time that asshole was at the top.
I will wrap it up by defending Amazon a little, and then insulting them a lot. The one I worked at was in Columbia SC. I had just been built about 8 months before I started working there so it maybe wasn't completely set up I don't know all the details. What I do know is that the SC senate gave Amazon a tax break, one of the main reasons being that it would bring jobs to the area. What did Amazon do once the Christmas rush was over? a MASSIVE LAYOFF without any warning. Sad thing is, the next time I went to work for them, I was finished being interviewed for a permanent position. They told me that everything went great and I'd hear back from them the next week. Well the next week came, people started getting laid off. I saw them hire people permanently who had never been to Amazon before, who had no fucking experience of the job. For those of you who are slow to follow!
AMAZON PERMANENTLY HIRED PEOPLE WHO DRESSED LIKE FUCKING BUMS AND WHO HAD NO EXPERIENCE OVER US WORKERS WHO HAD BEEN WORKING THERE FOR 5 OR MORE MONTHS! Amazon saved me when I was in danger of losing my home and I'm grateful, but I fucking hate them more than any company.
NSPB: And with this most cherished listeners: Good Night Irene!
J&D&RAT&TheSASMO&“Real” living human beings: Bye bye!
* * *
To our cherished listeners out there hopefully believing that “our” ‘A Live Silent Radio Hour’ which’s live yet pre-recorded formerly at The Spank the Monkey Café in the heart of downtown Seattle, Washington of the United States of Here’s Still Hoping for the Fifth Aeon to Finally Come and Save Us All Here or USHSHFAFCSUAH in: America which’s quickly Slipping Into Darkness or SID! Hopefully, we’ll be back next time! Who knows? Now listen! I’m Becka formerly known as Reject # 2 now known as the New Show Producer Becka or NSPB! I’m here in what’s known as “Reject Square” where we’re now broadcasting live yet pre-recorded and so many thanks once again to “our” cherished listeners who are anticipating another Episode or E of ‘A Live Silent Radio Hour’! We’re so sorry that you have to live through these nasty “happenings” taking place daily here in America! I mean to say! Really SORRY! But I wish to thank all of you for tuning in once more while again leaving Any Semblance of Rational Thought or ASRT at the door as for the sake of TheBezos: How in the hell can you listen to silent radio? Never understood that one but hey folks! We’re back! (Inspirational Pause!) And please cherished “LISTENERS” again return next time to hopefully Find-Out-the-Facts or FOFs concerning the nature and cause of our Collective Delusion or CD as we Tell Our Tale or TOT of Misery or M here in a land known as America! Please stay safe and always watch out for those Frenzied, Extremely Agitated Regrettables or FEAR who see their own reflection in the Mirrored Sunglasses or MSs of those who would Un-Naturally or UN ridicule our Blessed Way of Life here on Silent Radio or SR! And please! Make sure to thank TheBezos! And so I’m pretty certain! And Good Night Irene! Whoever “she” is?
* * *
D: Jonathan?
J: Yes Drew?
D: Why’s TheAmazon so cruel?
J: Because power corrupts! And absolute power corrupts absolutely! We cannot allow TheAmazon to gain “absolute” power! In which case: If you are an Amazon worker who would like to share your story, email [email protected]. Let’s stop TheAmazon before it’s too late!
J&D&NSPB&RAT&TheSASMO&“Real” living human beings: Power to the People!
J: And everybody sing as if your life depends on it!
J&D&NSPB&RAT&TheSASMO&“Real” living human beings: ‘Power to the people, power to the people Power to the people, power to the people Power to the people, power to the people Power to the people, power to the people, right on You say we want a revolution We better get on right away Well, you get on your feet And enter the street Singin’, power to the people, power to the people Power to the people, power to the people, right on A million workers workin’ for nothin’ You better give 'em what they really own We got to put you down When we come into town Singin', power to the people, power to the people Power to the people, power to the people, right on I gotta ask you comrades and brothers How do you treat you own woman back home? She got to be herself So she can give herself Singin’, power to the people, power to the people Power to the people, power to the people, right on Now, now, now, now Oh well, power to the people, power to the people Power to the people, power to the people, right on Oh yeah, power to the people, power to the people Power to the people, power to the people, right on Power to the people, power to the people Power to the people, power to the people, right on!’
D: Thank you John Lennon!
J: Never forget!
RAT: Power to the People!
NSPB: Stand up and be heard!
TheSASMO: Call TheAmazon, customers, third party sellers and share holders; and let them know that you will “NOT” do business with them unless they change “their” mistreatment of working people just like you and me! Now hear this Jeff Bezos! People are waking up to you and your system of brutality! We have reached the tipping point and ‘We The People’ or WTP are pushing back and Big Business or BB had better change or become merely Dust in the Wind!
J: Everybody stand up and shout!
J&D&NSPB&RAT&TheSASMO&“Real” living human beings: ‘I close my eyes Only for a moment and the moment’s gone All my dreams Pass before my eyes with curiosity Dust in the wind All they are is dust in the wind Same old song Just a drop of water in an endless sea All we do Crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see (Aa aa aa) Dust in the wind All we are is dust in the wind Oh, ho, ho Now don’t hang on Nothin’ last forever but the earth and sky It slips away And all your money won’t another minute buy Dust in the wind All we are is dust in the wind (All we are is dust in the wind) Dust in the wind (Everything is dust in the wind) Everything is dust in the wind (In the wind)!’
TheSASMO: Jeff Bezos! Stop and think about it!