Don't Say the "M" Word!

Whoever enters here honors me; whoever doesn’t- pleases me.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

          

      Live Yet Pre-recorded- Episode XVI of:

Don’t Say the “M” Word!

     A Silent Radio Hour: Live Yet Pre-Recorded

J: You know what’s great about our ‘A Silent Radio Hour’ live yet pre-recorded brother Drew?

         D: What’s that brother Jonathan? And oh, by the way: We’re Jonathan and Drew who are undoubtedly not the Property Brothers! Haven’t mentioned that in awhile!

         J: Been very busy brother Drew! Very busy!

         J&D: Buss! Buss! Buss!

         W: Have some tea hons?

         J&D: Yes please!

         J: Isn’t she just a dear?

         D: Absolutely! And by the way, how’d Area Manager Howell find his way home after our last show where we detailed the horrible yet honorable Death of God or DG via Termination or T by the Evil Empire or EE Com.com?

         J: Dah dah dah dah! Ominous music playing in the background!

         D: Silent radio brother Jonathan! Silent radio!

         J: Poetic license dear brother! Poetic license!

         WW: You guys wanna get on with it? We’ve only ten, fifteen minutes tops!

         W: Some tea hon?

         WW: Yes please! You’re a dear!

         J&D: Some more for us please!

         W: What good boys you all are!

         J&D&WW: Aw shucks!

         D: Okay then! Onto how Pack Area Manager Howell found his way outta here!

         W: I walked him to the door!

         WW: Mystery solved! Now can we move on?

         D: The mystery’s not solved, Warren! We’ve continually side-stepped the issue! What’s the problem people? Why can’t we speak about the secret doors?

         J&WW&W: TheMightyCom!

         J: Or more problematic: Bruce Jefferys or BJ or as some call him: TheBruce!

         WW: Today fellows, why don’t you two tell the tale of Bruce Jefferys or BJ to our cherished audience and how he invented TheMightyCom?

         J: We prefer cherished listeners!

         WW: Whatever! Just get to TheBruce! Okay?

         J&D: Whatever!

TheBruce:

D: Bruce Jefferys or TheBruce as some at corporate have taken to calling him TheDuce or TD translated as TheLeader or TL but this was fronded upon by TheJefferys…

J: May His name live forever!

D: Yes! May the mere mention of his name bless mothers and fathers and babies and cats and dogs and insects of various makes and models and oh, just about everything there is to bless in this accursed world of ours!

WW: Moving on Drew!

D: So then never in public was it, TheDuce or TD translated as TheLeader or TL to be used in public but in being quite honest, in private, Bruce  Jefferys was known to Goosestep in his office from time to time! He could actually be heard shouting: ‘Ich goosestepping auf der Stra?e!’

J: That must have been a sight to behold?

D: Indeed it must have been! Now, Bruce Jefferys exists in an ever expanding universe where the “moment” and yes, more of this later, takes place in an ever increasing velocity of actualized global availability package by package as the “moment” is delivered with precise if not meticulous precision whereas it’s been metrically calculated in the algorithmic exactitude of firm commitment and policy. To say that Jefferys is anal is to make small talk concerning the subject! The stick up this gent’s ass is long, winding and ever enlarging!

WW: Fascinating!

J: I don’t see it being fascinating!

WW: Sarcasm Jonathan! Pure, unadulterated sarcasm! So what’s this “anal” word means anyway Drew? And I don’t think our Show Censor or SC will approve!

J: How about it Show Censer or SC, anal’s okay?

WW: Well that’s a Big Thumb’s Up or BTU from the Show Censer or SC! Okay then, go for it!

J: Warren! When’d we get a Show Censer or SC?

WW: Just now! She just now walked through one of the cafés’ doors and began her new function!

D: Perhaps Master Milo sent her?

WW: Could be!

 W: Some tea hon?

SC: Yes please!

J&D&WW: Some more tea for us please!

W: Oh what good boys you all are!

J&D&WW: Aw shucks!

J: So then, onto the anal analysis! Drew?

D: Part of being anal’s having a personality disorder called Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder or OCPD which’s characterized by a general pattern of concern with orderliness, perfectionism, excessive attention to details, mental and interpersonal control and a need to manipulate one’s environment at the expense of flexibility, openness and of wholly disrupting efficiency!

J: Wow! Now wait just a minute!

D: No brother! That’s Woe or W to those under the direct control of someone with OCPD or Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder! As would be the case for those poor bastards…

WW: Show Censer or SC! Wanna make a call on “poor bastards” please?

SC: That another Big Thumb’s Up or BTU Warren!

WW: Okay then Drew, continue!

 D: Continuing: Those who actually work for Bruce Jefferys especially in his FCs or Fulfillment Centers!

J: Now let me get this straight! Because TheBruce’s in control of other people’s lives, he can lawfully plan their activities down to the exact minute, even in the bathroom,  which’s a manifestation of the compulsive tendency to keep control over their environment and to dislike unpredictable things like something they cannot control?

WW: Very good Jonathan! You get a cookie!

J: I like cookies!

W: More tea hons?

J&D&WW&SC: Yes please!

D: Exactly! I’ve even heard that the restrooms at the Com.com Fulfillment Centers or FC’s have sensors which sound an alarm to management if someone’s exceeded there five minute allotment!

J: I’ve heard that if you’re sitting there after that alarm sounds, a blast of water’s shot right up your ass!

WW: Oh Show Censor or SC! Was that one okay?

SC: Sure! Why not! Go for it!

D: Now you see cherished listeners, there are those we’ve entitled Workaholics and this leads them toward miserliness! And what’s miserliness brother Jonathan?

J: It’s a condition which compels someone to be stingy whereas they’re full of greed and are so tightfisted especially with their employees who they consider unworthy of any good fortune!

D: Even though these employees actually do all the work which makes all the money which the OCPD person keeps for himself?

J: Correct!

D: Seems like a very stupid system!

J: Ass Scratchingly Stupid System or ASSS!

D: Woe’s or W’s correct!

J: Better bet your ass it is!

WW: Bet your Ass Scratching Ass or ASA it is!

J: And that’s another Big Thumb’s Up or BTU from our new Show Censor or SC!

 D: Now persons affected with this disorder may find it hard to relax as they always feel that time’s running out for them and their well choreographed activities and that more effort’s needed to achieve their goals! That the Tick of the Tock or TT’s their Master and Commander or MC!

J: Good one brother Drew! You seem to be getting smarter all of a sudden!

D: Been taking my Streetwise QuickStep (?) or SQS!

J: And how’s that suppose to help make you smarter?

D: Streetwise QuickStep (?) or SQS has a nootropic compound in it which improves cognitive functions, particularly executive functions such as memory, creativity, or motivation in healthy individuals.

J: But are you really a psychologically healthy individual, Drew?

D: I’ve stopped barking at the moon brother Jonathan!

J: Great! Now please, continue dear brother!

D: Thanks! Anyway, the Tick of the Tock or TT…

W: More tea hons?

J&D&WW&SC: Yes please!

D: Listen! In Lewis Mumford’s great book: ‘Technics and Civilization’ he shows how, beginning in the fourteenth century, the clock made us into time-keepers! And then time-savers! And now time servers!

J: And should we all fear TT brother Drew?

D: Absolutely! Look, in the process we’ve become irreverence toward the sun and the seasons!

J: But I love the sun brother!

D: Not if you work for Com.com!

J: Indeed, you get there to work before sunrise and depart from their prison like environment after it sets! For you see, in a world made up of seconds and minutes, the authority of nature’s suspended!

D: And this’ like the Death of God or DG all over again!  Indeed, as Mumford points out, with the invention of the clock, Eternity or E ceased to serve as the measure and focus of human events. Eternity or E’s also been terminated by Com.com! Nothing’s sacred except production numbers which dominate and control the lives of those in the employ of TheMightyCom! The bastards! Sorry SC!

SC: Not a problem Drew!

D: Have terminated nature as well as God or H! And might we not say instead: TheDivine or TD! I wanna cry brother Jonathan! I wanna cry!

J: As you should brother! As you should! You see, people like Bruce Jefferys and those people from TheAmazon and TheFacebook and TheGoogle and all others of their cloth; they all plan their activities and that of those all around them, down to the exact minute which’s the very manifestation of the compulsive tendency to take if not keep total control over their environment and to dislike unpredictable things that they cannot control!

D: Things like TheDivine or TD and nature!

J: They hate TheDivine or TD and nature!

D: Why brother Jonathan? Why?

J: Because they hate themselves!

D: Really? They hate themselves?

J: Correct! As it was once stated by an early church father named Abba Evagrius: ‘Do you wish to know God, or as we’d suggested, TheDivine or TD? Learn first to know yourself?’

         D: Wow!

J: Indeed Wow! For you see! To hate oneself is to hate TheDivine or TD and nature because we are all apart of  TheDivine or TD and nature! So Woe or W indeed! Tell me more about Bruce Jeffers and his Com.com!

D: Bruce Jefferys is a very thin fellow who rarely eats or sleeps or does any of those nasty things which “normal” human beings do to themselves, say Self-manipulation or SM…

WW: Hold on people! Show Censor or SC! Is “Self-Manipulation” or SM a censoring offense?

SC: He didn’t Say the “M” Word did he?

WW: Please continue Drew!

D: Therefore, some maintain he’s really an advanced form of automaton, but still, he’s tireless in his goal of self perfection, his aspiration toward human excellence. To say the least, a bit of a contradiction if you know what I mean?

J: I don’t brother Jonathan! I don’t know what you mean?

D: Here’s the thing! Jefferys overall goal in this life is not to own the world per say as that would be extremely mundane if not clichéd in his identifiable estimation.

J: So what’s his goal? What’s his endgame?

D: His real desire’s to train humanity in the overall importance in the Maintenance of Committed Commerce or MCC and its precise distribution. For you see dear brother, there are certain things in this life which exemplify the manner in which an authentic person might demonstrate their personal as well as collective evolution, buying and selling is one such endeavor.

J: You mean dear brother: Stupid Ass Scratching Stuff or SASS?

D: That’s exactly what I mean! For it’s here in the “exchange” that true human intercourse will transpire as if to actualize the “moment” of when and where two become as one. Jefferys is attempting to achieve this perfect if not unique form of communion transaction by transaction; again, package by package, seller to buyer as desired if not demanded in an instant of self-gratification yet to be known in this; the atomized, computerized universe of his own making. Again, quite the contradiction to be certain.

J: Scares the crap outta me!

D: As it should brother! As it should! Therefore, Jefferys is really not some blackened heart soulless cretin whose every waking moment’s lived in the delight of crushing someone or something else! Hell no, he’s simply been misunderstood due to his erupting temper and forceful foul language: The man’s a Peach or P!

J: Agreed! The man’s a P!

D: Jefferys always strives faithfully as he’s driven to excellence in his quest for a better and brighter tomorrow. ‘I am a fan of man!’ he proclaims forcefully in his best Al Pacino voice while realizing the overall goal in Human Commerce or HC what’s referred to as the Jeffery’s Singularity or JS!

J: What the hell’s the Jeffery’s Singularity or JS brother Drew?

D: The Jeffery’s Singularity or JS’s a theoretical, somewhat imaginary event related to the initiation of Universal Artificial Intelligence or UAI!

J: Sounds sinister?

D: It should brother Jonathan! It should! Now, there needs to exist, and so believes Jefferys, a computer, a computer network, or robot that can tentatively be capable of recursive self-improvement whereas it will be able to redesign itself and hopefully redesign and build better, more powerful computers or robots than itself.

J: And then what brother Drew?

D: In the end, getting rid of almost all those pesky employees who cause so many problems as well as cost so much money!

SC: Sorry guys but we’ve gotta stop here!

J&D&WW: Why?

SC: I’ve gotta censor this FAKE NEWS Alert concerning Corporate Capitalism or CC and what it’s “doing” to the “poor workers!” You people make me sick with your filthy language and foolish rhetoric about the overly insulted if not maligned Global Business Community or GBC!

J&D&WW: And so! You’ve been sent by Com.com to disrupt our ‘A Silent Radio Hour’ which’s really ten, maybe fifteen minutes tops!

SC: And they said that the three of you were just a bunch of stupid…

J&D&WW: Ass Scratchingly Stupid!

SC: What you all said!

W: More tea hons?

J&D&WW&SC: Yes please!

J: Okay than! Seems we have to stop for the time being! But please cherished listeners, return tomorrow when we continue our battle with the Corporate Censor or CC!

D: Corporate Stooges or CS you mean!

J: What he said! See you again tomorrow!

J&D&WW&W&SC: Bye!

                                                *        *         *

                

To our cherished audience out there hopefully still listening to our ‘A Live Silent Radio Hour’ which’s live yet pre-recorded; I’m still disappointingly so, the show’s producer Warren Williams and I wish to thank all of you for tuning in once more while once again leaving any semblance of rational thought at the door as for the sake of TheJefferys: How in the hell can you listen to silent radio? I’m still here live yet pre-recorded and I simply don’t understand any of this! ( Inspirational Pause!) Please come back tomorrow for more news concerning the Corporate Censor or CC sent by Com.com and her attempt to shut down our ‘A Silent Radio Hour’ or what’s referred to as: This Voyage of the Damned or VD! See you all tomorrow!