Don’t Say Gay,” The Regifted “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

Despite the protections of the First Amendment’s right to free expression, United States politicians are fighting to restrict how and where LGBTQ+ people can be themselves, limiting access to information about them, as well as where they can show up in society.?As of?2023,?124 bills?have already been introduced,?restricting LGBTQ+ people, targeting their freedom of expression, the safety of transgender students, and access to health care.

The Florida “Don’t Say Gay Law” states that its purpose is to “prohibit[ ] classroom discussion about sexual orientation or gender identity in certain grade levels or in a specified manner.” To that end, the law provides:?

Classroom instruction by school personnel or third parties on sexual orientation or gender identity may not occur in?kindergarten through grade 3*?or in a manner that is not age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students in accordance with state standards.?

In other words, “instruction . . . on sexual orientation or gender identity” — terms not defined in the law – is completely prohibited for students up to the third grade. Beyond the third grade, such instruction is permitted only to the extent that it is “age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students in accordance with state standards.”?[*Florida has since?expanded?these restrictions through the 12th grade as of April 19, 2023]

Critics?of the bill have warned?that while the proposed restrictions don’t explicitly target queer people, the vague language in the bill could still force schools to ignore the LGBTQ+ community’s existence. This could include preventing educators from discussing a wide range of important issues such as the AIDS epidemic and marriage equality.

As Florida has expanded restrictions and numerous states such are aiming to follow suit, LGBTQ+ youth are being forced to bear the brunt of mental health ramifications. Amir Paley, CEO of the Trevor Project, an LGBTQ+ youth suicide and crisis prevention organization, said that “when lawmakers treat LGBTQ+ topics as taboo... it only adds to the existing stigma and discrimination, which puts LGBTQ+ young people at greater risk for bullying, depression, and suicide.”?Research shows that LGBTQ+ youth are already at a higher than average risk of suicide and self-harm, as a survey found that 42% of LGBTQ+ young people seriously considered suicide in 2021.?That being said, one can see how the bill’s implicit message of exclusion and shame can be linked to harm for queer youth. It transforms classrooms into unsafe spaces for LGBTQ+ students, where they are forced to hide their sexuality, which can exacerbate the issues that these students are already facing.?

Eerily reminiscent of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy that banned military members from saying they were gay, we would be wise to heed the lessons of history. As with “Don’t Say Gay” laws, proponents of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” promised to protect the rights and dignity of people on all sides of the debate. The policy was sold as a way to?prevent?the culture wars from infecting a key institution of American society – the military. Yet in reality,?it did the opposite, breeding mistrust, eroding morale, scaring qualified people away and ultimately creating divisions that fed the culture wars.

Our country now risks replicating the damage of this failed policy, but this time for our youth. The “Don’t Say Gay” bill and new legislation that follows its precedent, have dangerous and real consequences for LGBTQ+ youth not only in Florida, but the rest of the United States.?

Since 2021, versions of the “Don’t Say Gay” law?have been introduced?in 24 state legislatures. ALL Americans?should?be concerned that bills centered on the “rights of parents” are actually infringing on the rights of LGBTQ+ children and their right to feel safe being themselves.?Our young people deserve to live in a country where they learn about important historical events, especially history that is representative and reflective of their lives. The “Don’t Say Gay” bills and anti-critical race theory legislation limits opportunities for our kids to learn ALL American history and in doing so, erases the lives of so many important people who have come before them.

If you or someone you know, are having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach?the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or go to?SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources?for a list of additional resources.