Don't React...respond.

“You don’t have to do anything immediately,” I said.

The Product Manager’s eyes widened.? “But, they’re…..wrong!? He took a breath.? “And, it’s not even a feature anyone wants.? I have the data!”?

He had received an email from a Marketing leader asking if a certain feature was included in the new release.? To the Product Manager’s credit, there was no mystery.? It had been discussed in the requirement elucidation process and specifically excluded due to lack of market interest.? The Marketing leader’s email stated that the feature ‘must’ be included to support the new collateral and messaging.

“I’ll just send an email back with one word,” he said, “It’ll say ‘no.’? Even they should understand that.”

“Or, you could do nothing for a couple of hours and respond later today.”

“I want this finished now.”

Ah, there it is, I thought.? Keeping my tone measured, I said, “When you say ‘I want,’ you’re thinking of yourself.? You need to be thinking about we ‘we need’ as a team to succeed.”?

I saw the Product Manager’s jaw tighten.? He knew where I was headed and didn’t particularly want to travel that path with me.?

“Take a step back and remember the goal.? We want to deliver a successful product to market.? That is hard to do when things go well, and almost impossible when the team is not aligned.? If you send your one-word ‘no’ email, where will you be in two days?? The same place, with the same disagreement?”? The Product Manager nodded.? “So,” I continued, “if communication is our problem, and we want everyone aligned, then what’s your best course of action?”

“Go talk to Marketing.”? Aggravated, he shook his head.? “But, we had this discussion weeks ago and took that feature out. It’s wrong.”

“It’s not about being right.? It’s about doing the right thing.? Your job is to get us all to the finish line.”

“Fine,” he said, unconvinced.

“Look.? I’ve never met anyone who woke up with a desire to do the wrong thing.? If we assume they are trying to solve a problem with their request, then it is best to work with them to understand it, and then decide if it requires any action or change.? All paths lead to sitting down and seeking to understand their perspective. ?And, again, you might consider waiting a few hours so you’re both able to approach the discussion without emotion.”

Later that day, the Product Manager sat down with the Marketing leader and reported back to me that their concern was that the product’s feature set may be ‘too technical’ for a compelling story.? Together, they reviewed the feature set, identified areas where the capabilities were not completely understood, and crafted new messaging.? The team was aligned, and everyone felt more involved and confident.

Several years later, I happened to walk by that Product Manager, now a V.P. of Program Management, coaching one of his team members.? “It doesn’t matter if you’re right,” I heard him saying as I walked past, “it matters that we get the team to the finish line.? Just wait before you respond and consider…..”.?

?I’ve witnessed the ‘react or respond’ scenario perhaps more than any other circumstance. Quick reactions, overreactions, and incorrect assumptions probably waste more time and energy than any other team dynamic.

High performance teams have individuals who care.? People who care have strong opinions.? Those opinions will differ.? The key is to get the greatest value from the differing perspectives.? This requires trust and discipline in communications.? Trust team members to have the best intentions and don’t react emotionally to questions and challenges.? Discipline is required to keep the end goal in mind and focus all efforts on the group’s success over self-justification.?

• This is something that we can all improve in our words and actions.? The rules I keep in mind are:
• Never react until you know the result you intend to achieve.
• Nothing is as bad as it appears at first glance.? Don’t surrender your right to do nothing until you can do what is correct.
• What you write is forever.
• Email is a horrible medium for a debate.? If in doubt, walk down the hall or pick up the phone.
• No one wakes up with the intention to do something wrong and no one thinks that they are dumb.? If you don’t understand, then you are the one that doesn’t understand. Seek to understand.
• Anger in communications comes from fear and insecurity.? Be the security for your team.?
• It is amazing how fast problems get solved if someone takes blame off the table. Jump on the sword and take responsibility, whether true or not.? Worry about teaching the correct lessons after the crises is solved.
• Thank team members for surfacing problems.
• Celebrate teams solving problems.? This is what makes teams better and stronger.

I fail to live by these rules occasionally, but I never let those lapses in judgment affect my determination to improve.

#communications #leadership