How often do you find yourself in situations where you just want to scream? Let’s be honest, it happens to the best of us—both at home and at work. Something goes wrong, and we’re quick to jump to conclusions and point fingers. In that moment, we just want to explode.
Recently, I found myself on the receiving end of such a situation. It was not pleasant and, naturally, it triggered me to want to react in the same way: to shout, accuse, and lash out. Fortunately, I managed to keep my composure, but it made me realize how helpful a lesson in self-control could be in these moments.
So, next time you’re in a similar situation, consider these steps:
- Take a breath. When emotions run high, taking a few deep breaths really can help. Pause, calm down, and resist the urge to react immediately.
- Write it down. Before taking any drastic actions, jot down your thoughts. Reflect on what happened and why it affected you. Most importantly, identify what’s fact versus assumption (such as actions and intentions).
- Let it sit. After recording your thoughts, give it some time—an hour, a day, or however long you need. Distract yourself with a walk, a workout, or another task to help gain perspective. This distance allows your frustration to ease, revealing a clearer reality.
- Re-visit and re-assess. When you feel ready, go back to your notes with a calmer, more rational mindset. Often, our initial frustration stems from an undesired outcome that we quickly attribute to incorrect assumptions.
- Respond rationally. With a clearer understanding, invite everyone involved to calmly discuss the facts, resolve the issue, and work toward preventing it in the future. Most of the time, you’ll find that everyone had good intentions but that miscommunication or misunderstanding got in the way.
This process is much easier said than done, but it’s essential for effective problem-solving and maintaining good relationships. Don’t react—respond.
As always, I hope you found this post helpful. Feel free to share it with anyone who might benefit, and I’d love to hear your thoughts here.
