Don't Put the Cart Before the Horse
I was sitting in front of an important prospective client with my colleague who was in town visiting for a few days from our Chicago office. My colleague was a seasoned partner who I assumed was good in front of clients.
“No need to prep him for this meeting.” I thought. Mistake number one.
The client, my colleague, and I exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes, and then it began. My colleague switched gears and said, “well, I assume we are meeting today to talk about me and my experience…”
It was a train wreck happening in slow motion. He went on for 25 painful minutes talking about how great he and our firm were. I sat there stunned and did not interrupt. Mistake number two.
The client started to check out. I could see it in his eyes. He nodded politely, but I was sure he was thinking about when he needed to pick up his kids from school, and anything else beside what was coming out of my colleagues’ mouth.
It was the last time I ever had a meeting with that client. This happened 15 years ago yet it stays with me like it happened yesterday.
I understand how this can happen. Whenever someone wants to impress the other person, they often jump right in and start talking about themselves first before learning about the other person. It is a knee jerk reaction that can happen in any professional or personal conversation.
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I call this putting the cart before the horse.
It is often difficult to make the right impression when talking about yourself first. How about flipping it around. Let the other person talk about themselves first. Learn what is on their mind and what is important to them.
Once you learn about them and the spotlight shines on you, you can be more on point in the conversation and discuss topics that are of interest to the client.
Now you have an engaging conversation!
The train wreck I experienced with my colleague and the prospective client was a lesson I will never forget. I could have potentially prevented the conversation from derailing by better preparing my colleague prior to the conversation, and tactfully interrupting him 10 minutes into his autobiography. Instead, I made assumptions that he knew what he was doing with regards to BD meetings which cost me a client.
The moral of the story – listening and learning first will make a much bigger impression than you think.
Executive and strategic leadership team advisor, coach and author of “Executive Ownershift, Creating Highly Effective Leadership Teams”.
8 个月Great message here Doug Ott and great image to support your story, thanks for sharing this.
Trusted Advisor | Triangular Leadership | Talent Retention
8 个月Thanks for sharing Doug Ott! A powerful story to remember, even whilst I haven't been there :)
Executive Advisor | Change Facilitator & Expert | Build a positive culture in your global company | Get people committed to your strategy and plans
9 个月Great story, Doug Ott. ?? It rings so true. My exchanges with customers got infinitely better some years ago, when I stopped trying to sound like a dodgy used-car salesman - pushing my opinions onto customers and started asking more questions. The odd thing was: listening was easier and always felt more comfortable for me.
Adopting AI: Enabling organizations and their leadership teams to change
9 个月Dear Doug Ott, spot on and many thanks for highlighting the importance of listening in conversations. This is a much underestimated skill in today's fast paced business world. The slogan "don't put the cart before the horse" says is all.