Don't Make New Year's "Resolutions"...Do This!

As someone who works in the health and wellness field, I’m reminded by dozens of articles that it’s time to make New Year’s Resolutions. Time to revisit our to do lists from last year and take stock of what worked and what didn't. 

Tempting as it may be, I don’t make New Year’s "Resolutions."

To me, they feel more like an overwhelming, uninspired laundry list of tasks and less like an inspired vision for how I want my life to be. Making New Year’s Resolutions doesn’t work for me, and I'm not all that crazy about the word "resolutions" either. It doesn't excite me. 

But I’ve discovered something that does.

An impromptu trip to a neighborhood bookstore last year sparked me to do something differently this time of year. My husband and I were walking around an eclectic neighborhood in the heart of Baltimore on New Year’s Eve and ventured into a bookstore. I stumbled upon Danielle LaPorte’s book, The Desire Map.

As I flipped through the first few pages, I came upon Danielle’s story of turning away from the checklist style many of our New Year’s Resolutions tend to take. Instead of focusing on what she wanted to DO that year, she asked herself a different question:

How do I want to feel?

Once we get clear on how we want to feel, we can spend our time and energy being intentional about specific ways to generate those feelings, as we craft an inspired vision for how we want our lives to be. 

It’s amazing how much clarity going through this process has brought me and the thousands of other people who have done the same.

After brainstorming words that capture how I want to feel, I narrowed them down to the top five words that energize me the most and came up with my core desired feelings for 2015: 

I thought about what it meant to feel each of those feelings and what I could do to generate them as often as possible. 

To be RADIANT is to be bright and bold; to send out light; to shine or glow brightly. I’m radiant and feel like the best and most authentic version of myself when I’m speaking, teaching, presenting and writing. I’ve done more of all of those things in the past year than ever before. I’m gearing up to do the same in 2016 with my first national speaking gig in April in Orlando! 

I also feel radiant when I eat nourishing foods that make my skin glow and my body feel energized. That’s my primary motivation for eating the way that I do - how it makes me feel.

To be CONNECTED is to be linked, banded together, joined, and united. When we feel connected, we feel close, safe, wanted, supported, and understood. We are hard-wired for connection and designed to be in community with others. I’ve felt more supported and connected this year than ever before. Networking with passionate people, spending more time with friends and family, serving my community, giving back and paying it forward, and sharing my story have helped me generate feelings of connection.

To be WORTHY is to be “good enough.” Like many women, I’ve struggled to feel “good enough” for most of my life. It’s exhausting and draining to feel that way. I love what Brene Brown has to say about worthiness in her book, The Gift of Imperfection:

 “If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging. Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”

When we feel worthy, we open up the possibility for amazing opportunities to enter our lives and instead of asking “Why me?” we can confidently respond, “Why NOT me?” and say “Yes!” to what is meant to happen in our lives instead of resisting it. 

Starting 2015 by focusing on how I wanted to feel gave me a sense of clarity, purpose and direction for the year, and I had the best year ever in my career. 

I was bolder and more open than ever about what I wanted to bring into my life and about the impact I wanted to have. I won national awards, met internationally recognized leaders in my field, felt more purposeful in my career, was asked to speak at the national level, grew financially, and connected with other like-minded, life-giving people who are also striving to become the best version of themselves.

By owning how I wanted to feel and getting clear on what action steps made me feel that way, I came alive. I felt inspired and had the opportunity to inspire others.

It was a great year.

I’m looking forward to all that 2016 will bring, and as a result of what I’ve experienced over the past twelve months, I’m tweaking my list and keeping what still resonates and modifying what doesn’t. For 2016, my core desired feelings are:

I felt incredibly ABUNDANT at the end of the year when our CEO gave each of our employees a gift so we could "Pay It Forward." I wrote about it in this post. I was so inspired by what happened that my husband and I are going to continue setting aside money each month to give to specific people and families. We'll be looking for opportunities to give back.

I'm eager to find out what abundance I attract into my life as a result of declaring that feeling. Energy flows where attention goes, so by focusing on giving more freely, I anticipate feeling more abundant than ever.

How about you?

Are you uninspired by New Year’s Resolutions?

Tired of looking at your incomplete checklist each December?

Done with being “motivated” by guilt at the start of each new year?

Give this exercise a try:

Ask yourself how you want to feel.

Decide what you’ll do to generate those feelings - what do you do or can you do to make yourself feel that way?

Feeling stuck? Check out this guide to walk through the process of mapping out YOUR core desired feelings. You might be surprised by what comes up for you!

What are three to five words that capture how YOU want to feel in the coming year? Feel free to share your words in the comment section below!