Don't Listen to What They Say - Watch What They Do

I had a friend years ago who would talk non-stop about all of the many things she was going to do.?

She was going to buy a new house in the city.

But actually decided to rent in a different city.

She was going to pay back money I was owed, and she would do it every week. Guaranteed.

I never received a penny and to this day, I am still waiting.

She became to me - a clown, doing a series of endless tricks.

What people say and what they do are often two entirely different things.

"Well done is better than well said." - Benjamin Franklin

Certainly - and we've known this for years - that has been the case with politicians, those nasty creatures who we have learned cannot be trusted.

But it's true also of most people.

The conventional advice in business and in life is that we ought to listen to people.

Because "listening" has vanished from our relationships.

While I agree that "listening" is far better than "ignoring" it has been my experience, especially as of late, that we need to take the words of people with a grain of salt. Meaning that "they say they'll do this and that." But what actually will happen is a large question mark.

I wonder, then, why it is that people are so unreliable - why their intentions and actions are so different.

"A tongue doesn't get things done"- Amit Kalantri

There are probably many reasons.

For one - what is inside the heart is something a lot of people have learned to closely protect. We tend not to divulge what we really believe and hope will happen, for fear that it won't take place and we'll look foolish. Or, that we have been "burned" so many times in the past by people who have discouraged us when we reveal our inner most desires, we opt to not disclose anything at all.

There is, of course, the matter of these very uncertain times. When people declare their intentions, they really have no idea if the circumstances will allow those intentions to turn into reality.

Still - many of our friends and family members are trying desperately to negotiate life in a world that has simply gone mad.?

And so - for the most part, it is not that people deliberately are trying to deceive us (although some are - trying to elevate their importance by telling you about the great things they have planned, yet deep down, have no intention of following through).

But rather, they are swimming in rough seas and prone to taking a rapid right turn without warning.

This can sometimes produce a strange paradox.

Years ago as a hapless furniture salesman, I noticed that the people who walked into the store and enthusiastically told me they loved everything and would be buying a lot - in fact, never bought a single item. But those who said nothing, spent the big bucks.

Advice given to me by an old manager was simply to never tell others what I planned to do, and instead - just do it.

"Don't talk about what you have done or what you are going to do." - Thomas Jefferson

So sure - tell me your plans, hopes and desires.

But I'll believe it when I see it.