Don't Let Things Get the Best of You: Rip-a Page Out of Kelly’s Book & Toss It!

Television viewers received more than their normal dose of daytime drama over the last week.

No, they weren't watching a steamy soap opera; they were getting a front row seat as a real-life drama unfolded on the long running talk show, Live! with Kelly and Michael.

What was the drama? 

Former National Football League (NFL) player turned television host, Michael Strahan, is leaving Live! for a spot on Good Morning America (GMA).

The drama isn’t that’s he’s leaving – people leave jobs all the time.

The drama involves how the situation unfolded. Management decided to leave Strahan’s co-host, Kelly Ripa, in the dark about the decision. Even though both Strahan’s current and future shows are part of the same parent company, Ripa was informed about the decision only as it started to become public.

Ripa felt wronged. Her career on the show predates Strahan's, management kept her in the dark, and she's left wondering about the company's commitment to the show and her role. Add to that suggestions that her and Strahan's relationship was already strained, and it's not surprising that she was upset.

To be clear, the intent of this post isn't to criticize Ripa. Admittedly, I've reacted in ways that I wish I hadn't to past frustrations. We all have.

I hope to simply offer two Don'ts to help all of us react better in the future. 

 1.  Don't Skip Work

Numerous sources report Ripa had a “meltdown” about the departure and she skipped work to avoid saying something she would regret. True, showing up and saying something she would later regret in front of millions of viewers would have hurt Ripa’s brand; however, she missed a chance to really enhance her image in the eyes of others. Had she simply shown up for work and handled the situation with grace and charm people would have been glued to their television sets to watch the situation unfold. Ripa’s brand would have received a huge boost.

Instead her fans turned against her and the media took notice:

“Ripa had a tantrum and gave herself a time-out at the same moment. Yet by Tuesday Ripa had figured out that what people value in their chat-show hosts is their perceived niceness.”

I have no knowledge of Kelly Ripa’s circle of confidants. She may have some wonderful advisors who she turns to for counsel. If she does and she used them, I think she might consider expanding her circle.

We all experience situations that get the best of us. We become emotional, anxious, and angry. Whether you want to lash out or disappear, it’s important to pause, seek the counsel of others, and make a wise decision.

Stephen R. Covey famously said, “Leaders beware! The higher they get in an organization, the harder it is to get feedback.”

Perhaps this was true for Ripa. Maybe those around her told her she was right, her feelings were justified, and she needs to make a bold move. The problem with this is that all of the counsel focuses on Ripa.

Who provided the voice of her fans?

Perhaps if someone had reminded her of the bedridden woman who enjoys her daily dose of Kelly on Live!, the sponsor who is investing critical funds to advertise on the show, and those in the audience who traveled across the country to be in the studio, she would have chose a different path.

2.  Don’t Confuse Your Fingers

Do you love where you work and the type of work you perform?

If so, that’s wonderful. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Appreciate it.

However, don’t confuse work with home. Work is work. Sometimes it's amazing and fulfilling. Other times, it’s just plain work.

I’m fortunate that the former CEO of Kraft, Roger Deromidi, often speaks in my classroom. The students enjoy his real world experience and hearing stories about launching new products and running a global business.

What often resonates most is when he discusses trying to maintain a work-life balance. Deromidi explains that he met a man on a train one day year’s ago. It was simply a passing moment, but what the man shared stayed with Deromidi.

The traveler told the future CEO to consider the five fingers on his hand. The first finger represents you and is all about independence. It’s the only finger that matters as you are growing up and going through school. Eventually, a second finger, your career, catches your attention. It often competes with the first for your time, energy, and attention. For those who find a life partner, the third finger becomes important. Have children and the fourth finger appears. Ultimately, as you mature, the fifth finger, which represents your contribution or legacy becomes key.

His point was that each finger is unique and that successful people learn to keep them separate and treat them NOT as the same thing. Don’t combine your partner finger and your children finger – calling it the family finger. Both your partner and your children require different Each finger requires a different type and amount of attention. Those who confuse them often learn they don’t know their partner once the children have grown.

Ripa admits that she considers Live! her second home.  I get the sentiment. We spend a great deal of time at work. We are invested at work. It matters. However, don't strip away the realities of the arrangement. You wouldn't walk into your living room and tell your daughter, “Well, your performance wasn't very good last quarter. You need to find a new family.” But, this can and does happen at work.

In the end, Ripa returned to Live!, said farewell to her colleague and shared with the audience that the company was committed to the future of the show. A new co-host will likely be hired and everything will continue. Over time, this will be but a small part of her career. I wish her the best and hope that we all can learn from the situation.

Here are a few questions for you to consider...

• Do you often react to situations? Or, do you pause, reflect, and act?
• Do you have a circle of advisors you can confide in about situations that frustrate you? 
• Are you confusing your fingers? Or, are you clear on each one?

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Best- Patrick