Don’t Let The Office Holiday Party Derail Your Career

Jessica had a crush on her manager, but she'd managed to keep it under wraps. That is, until the office party . . . and several glasses of Merlot. Suddenly it seemed like the perfect time to unburden her tortured soul. And unburden she did, to everyone in the room -- including the man’s wife. Not surprisingly, this turned a professional holiday gathering into an excruciating and career-limiting event. 

The holiday office party offers a great opportunity to socialize with co-workers and develop or deepen relationships. It’s a wonderful time to mingle with colleagues in a less pressured setting. It might give you a chance to personally thank those who have been helpful or supportive throughout the year. It could even be an opportunity to meet with senior executives, either to introduce yourself or get to know them on a more informal level.

While some behaviors (like having “just one more” drink) may sabotage your good intentions, other behaviors can give your career a boost. Here are six tips to keep in mind:

1) Dress up – but not flashy or trashy.

Clothes make a strong visual statement about how you see yourself. By all means, dress in party fare when attend the holiday office gathering. Just remember, you're not on a date, you’re at a work-related social event that is just as important as any other business function. So, keep it tasteful. Don't wear your "club appropriate attire" to the party. Save your midriff-baring tops and micro-mini skirts for socializing with friends.

2) Practice your party intro.

The way you greet your fellow party-goers can have a huge impact on their perception of you. The best party introductions combine business information with a personal twist. An example would be: “Hi, I’m Stacy from the PR department. I’ve been with XYZ for just a few months, and this is the first social event I’ve attended. It’s so nice to meet co-workers face-to-face.” (Another tip is to wear a conversation opener – a scarf or unique piece of jewelry.)

3) Let your body show that you are at ease.

If you want people to see you as comfortable and approachable, don't cross your arms and legs or use objects (your drink or plate of food) as a barrier. It looks as if you are closed off or insecure. Instead, stand tall and assume a comfortable position with your legs about shoulder width apart and your arms loosely at your side. Smile to show you are friendly and open.  

4) Mirror gestures and expressions.

When we meet people for the first time, subconsciously we scan the other person's body to see if they move or gesture in a similar way to us. When you subtly mimic the person you are speaking to, it is a way of silently saying, "We are alike. We feel the same and have the same attitudes."

5) Shake hands - but don't get too touchy.

A warm, but firm, handshake is a business skill worth developing, and a light touch on the arm or shoulder can create an instant bond. But if you hang on people or touch them too frequently, you send unintended signals of neediness or flirtation.  

6) Pretend you’re the host or hostess.

We seldom remember what people we meet at social events have to say – but we are deeply impressed by how they make us feel. So pretend that you are the party’s host or hostess, and that your job is to make others feel welcome and at ease. Approaching co-workers with this attitude will immediately resonate in a positive way. And remember to make eye contact as others are speaking. It lets people know you are paying attention to what they say – and it makes them feel special.

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is an international keynote speaker and leadership presence coach. She's the author of "The Silent Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help - or Hurt How You Lead" and creator of LinkedInLearning's video series: "Body Language for Leaders." #LinkedInLearning #bodylanguage #officeparty #career@holidayparty