Don’t Let Loyalty Ruin Your Career

No one is worth sacrificing your goals to.

Especially not bosses and middle managers who may not have your best interests at heart. It sounds harsh, but it’s true. You must eliminate these fake attachments at work.

The reason most people fail to act is because they feel bad. They don’t want to rock the boat and they want everyone at work to like them.

It gives them a false sense of job security. Instead of admitting that fake company loyalty is holding them back, these people get emotional.

Look — the only way to keep making progress in your career is by leaving negative people behind. You were meant for something more than fake job security. You were meant for something more than being tolerated.

You just can’t see your potential because you’re surrounded by the wrong people.

Researchers from The University of Tel Aviv and MIT found that in general, we’re all pretty terrible at accurately perceiving our relationships. While 95% of participants thought that their relationships were reciprocal, only 50% matched up in the bidirectional friendship category.

In other words, only 55% of your connections are reciprocal.

In measuring relationships, their algorithm found that lack of reciprocity or a “unidirectional” relationship occurred in many of the friendships that we could identify as being our closest and best. What does this mean?

It means that even some of your “closest” colleagues do NOT want what’s best for you.

There’s nothing better than a true connection — a reciprocal connection. But there’s nothing worse than a coworker or manager that you treat as true, but that only tolerates or abuses you.

People in reciprocal relationships enjoy greater progress and overall success as a result of that influence.

A fake connection can pull you off course and sabotage your career goals.

It’s time to eliminate toxic people from your work life to make room for some more true connections. Here’s how…

1. Fake connections are highly conditional.

Fake connections at work are only there for you when it’s convenient, when you agree with them, or when you’re not pursuing your goals.

Otherwise, these fakers are inconsistent and unreliable.

They might only support your career if you’re doing something they approve of… or something that benefits them. All they care about is their goals.

As a result, you’ve forgotten about your career goals. Instead, you’ve dedicated yourself to THEIR career goals, or the goals of your company.

Now, you’ve become a twisted reflection of their goals, not your own goals.

Stop adding value to people who will never reciprocate. End these highly conditional fake friendships now.

2. Blind company loyalty is based on obligation.

History means nothing. Things change. The company that was meaningful to your career path yesterday may not be relevant today.

Look — fake company loyalty will hold you captive with your past for the rest of your life, if you let it. It will keep you as the person you’ve always been. It will keep you from improving.

Loyalty is a choice that isn’t based on history or obligation, but on values and character.

Your job is to go after what you want in your career without being trapped by obligations that limit your freedom. This obligation is skewing your perspective.

The only way to gain a better perspective is to create some distance. Distance creates clarity.

3. Staying loyal doesn’t challenge you.

If you’re ambitious and motivated at work, you will outgrow your position at work. This is a good thing.

Stop feeling bad about it.

Instead, focus on finding new, like-minded people who have their own goals in life and start chasing your goals with these people — independently but in parallel.

Find true professional relationships that revolve around mutual accountability. These connections should be stimulating.

Fake connections, on the other hand, are de-energizing.

Realize that cutting someone out of your professional life doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a better person.

After gaining distance and clarity, you’ll be in a strong position to decide if the work relationship is right.

Be focused on what matters to you. Do a regular scan of who you are connected to at work and your circle of influence. Look for people that actively reciprocate your connection, reflect your values, and are aligned with the goals you have for your career right now. Scrutinize those other tepid or toxic relationships at the same time. Take a break from anyone that doesn’t amplify where you are and where you’re going. Lose the clutter of fake professional connections and be bold enough to permanently cut out people who are actively holding you back from reaching your goals.

Where do you draw the line on company loyalty? Tell me in a comment below.

I also write for Fast Company and Entrepreneur Magazine:

• The Skills You Need To Grow Your Business
• 10 People Who Will Destroy Your Business
• 5 Benefits Of Being A Misfit Entrepreneur

Check out my book of personal and professional advice, Black Hole Focus: How Intelligent People Create A Powerful Purpose For Their Lives.