Don’t Let Domestic Violence Destroy Children’s Lives

Barnardos Australia (Barnardos) has launched the continuation of an important awareness campaign about the impact of domestic violence on children. The reason we are investing in this type of campaign is because the evidence shows us that children are the hidden victims of domestic and family violence (DFV). Children don’t choose to grow up in homes where violence and coercive control exist. They are the voiceless victims of DFV and how they are affected must be acknowledged and action taken to prevent the potential life-long impacts which can destroy lives.

In our research report, Truth Is the Abuse Never Stopped,?we asked Australian adults who had lived through domestic violence as children about their help seeking practices. 70% said they did not know where to go for help as a child, 63% were afraid that telling someone would make things worse and 42% did not want to talk to anyone about it. And so, it remained hidden.

We also don’t often hear the stories of children and young people’s experiences in the media. Instead, we hear reports that the children were ‘unharmed’ or ‘uninjured’ when there is a story of family or domestic violence attacks. But of course, children are harmed. Our research shows that 88% of child victims of DFV suffer from profound psychological distress, leaving a deep and enduring impact on their well-being. Even after the abuse ends, these children continue to grapple with low self-esteem, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, self-harm, and, tragically, sometimes even suicide. Their suffering does not dissipate with time; it lingers, affecting their growth and potential, unless addressed. And so, we are bringing attention to this issue.

At Barnardos, we work with children and their families everyday who are living through some terrifying situations. But there are always positive stories to be told, those who have managed to go on to live healthy, happy lives, with the appropriate support in place. One such story is Mia’s. Mia is 19 years old who grew up in a family where DFV was present. When we first met Mia, she was in a constant state of fight or flight. This affected her behaviour at school, and she began to act out and rebel against authority. She explains this as a “cry for help” that no one was hearing. She lost trust in those closest to her and lost hope for the future. At her lowest moments she even contemplated suicide. Thankfully, she reached out to Barnardos for help.

Our youth workers were able to gain Mia’s trust and help her see that she was worthy of a loving home. By consistently being there for her, no matter what, our workers and the other young people at our youth centre provided the vital connection that Mia was missing. It is so important that we give young people a safe place to be themselves, share their story and build their trust of others and belief in themselves again. Today, Mia is a confident young woman, motivated to share her story and help other children who have experiencing DFV.

To truly protect children from DFV, we must start by listening to them. Their voices, their experiences, and their needs must be at the forefront when formulating policies and laws that shape their lives. We need to let these young people know that we believe them and that it’s not their fault. It takes a lot for a child or young person to feel safe enough to talk about what’s going on at home. Sadly, domestic violence is so common that we must be alert to the possibility that children and young people in our own communities are victims.

But there is hope. While the damage can run deep, children can also be supported to heal from their experiences. When they find someone to believe in them what emerges is a strong, inspiring young woman like Mia.

Watch and share our awareness campaign here.

Don’t let domestic violence destroy children’s lives.