Don’t let COMPETITION & COMPARISON kill the tender Childhood

I was in a residential school in Andhra Pradesh; I was surprised to know that the school timing were from 6 a.m. till 6.00 pm in the evening. I spoke to a student and he told me that he starts from his house at 5 o’clock in the morning and reaches back at 7.30 pm in the evening. After that he is hardly left with any time for socializing, watching TV, any other entertainment or even talking to his parents.

This story doesn’t restrict itself to this single boy, but extends to thousands and lacs of students across the country. It is saddening that children, at this tender age, do not have any time to play, enjoy and share their good or bad experiences. They have no scope to strengthen themselves with emotions. Such life refrains them from emotions like love, sympathy, hope , togetherness, appreciation and respect.

The programmed robotic life of school, home work, snap tests, exams leave them emotionally weak.. When, for higher studies, these boys and girls move out of their home towns, they have no support system. They get exposed to the external world. External world of pressure, competition and comparison strikes them hard. Alas! They have to face it all sans any guard or shield.

The situation becomes grim, when this immense pressure gives birth to depression among students. Unfortunately, in the absence of support system, some kids succumb to enormous pressure and the take extreme step. Too much competition for two few seats coupled with parental and societal aspiration leads to a pressure cooker like situation which is ready to burst any time. Many families put everything at stake just to make their child engineer or doctor and in this rat race; they become totally unconcerned about what their child wants to be.

In a recent suicide note by a girl in Kota, she has accused her mother of manipulating her as a child into liking Science. She warned her against doing the same with her younger sister. Further in the suicide note, she wrote “Some might even say that she was so strong that we would never have imagined that she would do something like this… This is because I helped many come out of their depression and make a comeback. Funny, I couldn’t do that to myself.” “I had interest in astrophysics and quantum physics and would have done a BSc… I still love writing, English, history (sic)… and they are capable of exciting me in the darkest times…”

The girl also advised her sister to do what she loved. “…only what you love brings happiness and that is the only thing you can excel in…”.

When you stretch rubber band beyond a limit, it is bound to have repercussions. We need to get out of our routine, conventional thought process .Our current education system also shares the blame. Indian Education system also defines success and failure in terms of marks and degrees. The purpose of education is not to produce citizens with 100% marks who are unable to handle social and emotional pressure. The purpose of education is to provide a platform to a child to find his inner voice (antardhavani) and subsequently find a path which connects his inner voice with societal needs. That is when you produce masters like Tendulkar at the age of 16.

Success in 21st Century is not about being good enough. It is about the being the best and to be the best you have to choose your career which is close to your heart. There are thousands of career options which are promising and paying and as parents we need to look at them with open mind.

Enough is Enough! Wake up parents! It is high time now. Give some breathing space to your kids. Let them grow up enjoying and making pleasant memories of their childhood. There is much more to life than being and IITian or a doctor.

This article has been written by Avinash Agarwal who works as CEO with AIETS –a research based educational organization.