Don't kick my donkey over
A coach posted this on LinkedIn yesterday ‘I’ve seen it happen time and time again, when a business starts to turn around and becomes more successful, that confidence creates a momentum that often the owner can’t explain. What do you need to do, say, think differently? What would you do if you were already successful?’
I read this well meaning quote whilst stood in the sunshine next to the river Thames at Blackfriars and, up to that moment, I was enjoying the grounded, happy feeling that comes from a clear state of mind. I felt my state begin to shift to irritation and annoyance. You see this kind of ‘personal motivation’ stuff kicks my donkey over……..
So here, on day four of my change manifesto blogs I want to clear up one of the most misunderstood aspect of personal change.
Motivation…BOO YAA
A whole industry has built up around this fist bumping, goal setting, affirmation chanting and positive mind set obsessed weapons grade bullshit.
I know because I fell for it. I bought into the mantra led coaching world, be more, do more and you’ll have more blah blah blah…..
It is not how success works!! It is not the framework within which my clients create success, the many highly successful people I’ve met (note: I do not measure success by money alone and if that were the only measure I should have stayed in my hugely paid corporate role) and the stories I studied.
In fact the only books that allude to this are, you’ve guessed it , written by people trying to sell you a model of personal success, or people who have achieved success but are re-writing their story to make it more heroic or sellable.
The most important business book I have ever read was the semi auto-biographical story of Steve Jobs. Why? Because it was brutally honest and it laid him out bare, warts and all. There were no goals, affirmations and mantras in that book. Just the story of a flawed man who connected with and stayed true to his most innermost voice, no matter what the collateral cost to those around him. I respect him more for this book than his amazing creations, which I use and love.
Here is my starting point with you.
There is someone you already are, that knows what it is you truly want and that can effortlessly bring that to life; if only you would get out of your own way.
So if that is the truth then why would you risk losing the moths from your wallet to invest in me?
Simple…you don’t have an embodied experience of yourself and your circumstance that allows the above statement to feel true for you.
Add or Subtract…it’s a matter of fact
You don’t need to add to your goals, do more stuff, read more books, attend more events, motivate yourself and keep focussed. That might get you some results but it is not the fastest way to grow a business/career that will deliver you the wellbeing and lifestyle you want.
Do the reverse; subtract. Remove the noise, complexity, distractions, things to do and the meaningless goals until you get to the essence of three things
· Your optimum performance state, who you are when you show up at your best. This state that is so natural to you it requires no effort to ‘be’ like it
· What you actually want. The very specific version of success that you deeply hold and probably hide from the world. The one that doesn’t fit with what your parents, friends, societies or the marketing agencies told you that you are supposed to want.
· The perspective you hold of how business, and the world works, and how that moves you forward or holds you back. A simple shift in calibration here opens up the potential for effortless breakthroughs
So in essence there is no such thing as authentic transformation; only a return to a state and a way of being that has always been there for you, quietly whispering to you in amongst the noise of a busy mind.
……….as I looked back over the river I immediately felt my donkey kicking anger subside as my mind effortlessly found its way back to its calm, optimum state and words began to flow……I’ll share them with you tomorrow.