Don't Keep Your Goals Secret The power in sharing what you want most, NOW.

It's Saturday night, you're out on a date at your very favorite place to get homemade gnocchi with vodka sauce and a glass of Montepulciano d'Abruzzo - it's not even on the menu but they made it as a special one night and you happen to know the chef will make it because it's one of his favorites too.  You show up at the restaurant at 7:15 and you are seated at the worst table, there are plenty of open tables but still you're given THIS table. You sit, the waiter comes over and asks: What can I get for you tonight? And you reply: Guess! The waiter stumbles...your date is shocked, all you've been talking about is the gnocchi for weeks! But you insist that this person should guess about what you'd like.  Twenty five minutes later and you have a glass of merlot and chicken parmesan with penne in front of you.  You're miserable. Your date is annoyed.

At this point you recognize: You should have asked for what you wanted. 

Of course this restaurant scene would never happen to you. You'd never entrust something as important as having the most incredible gnocchi to CHANCE!

And yet...I bet you have left something even more important than gnocchi to chance. 

Have you told the people in your life, that you work with, that you're connected to what your goals are, what it is you want most right now?

If you haven't shared your goals you've left it to chance how the people in your life can help you achieve them. 

But I can't do that!

You lament channeling your inner 7 year old requesting there uptenth hour of screen time over winter break when told to just go and PLAY (this isn't just me, right?).

I did some asking around and here's what I heard when met with resistance to sharing goals. 

I can't tell people what my goals are, they'll think I have no business wanting that!  To this objection I say this: So what. So what if someone thinks you have no business wanting that? So what. Do you want it? Do you know why? That's good enough. You have 100% authority and all the business to want what you want. I would bet that no one is actually going to think that you have no business wanting what you want. In fact, I would go as far to say that by you declaring what you want you'll inspire them to want something better for themselves...you're basically an inspiration with those goals of yours. Inspire.

I can't tell people what my goals are, they'll watch me fail and then I'll feel even worse! Sure, that is 100% the worst case scenario. People fail all the time, it's even applauded these days. What's REALLY inspiring is when you see someone fail, and then fail again and then you watch them succeed. Now that's a journey everyone can relate to. You're so real! Also- you're not so important that anyone is going to be tracking your goals and waiting for you to fail. It's a wonderful thing when you recognize how freeing that is. Do you not believe me? Tell me about your best friends 5 biggest failures. Were they truly failures or did they make room for something else, something better? Do you look at your best friend differently in a negative light because of those failures?  I would bet you do not. You can trust the same will be true for you.  

I can't tell people what I want - it will jinx it! I always find this one so....odd. My next question to the person is: So you believe in the innate powers of the universe and the connectivity of all energy? And they give me that blank stare back like I'm completely off my rocker because NO, they don't believe that. And yet, here we are holding back for the jinx. That's...funny. The universe, God, a collection of fire ants, all of the readers of Oprah, the people watching the Grammy's are not conspiring against you. You can cross jinxing off your list of concerns along with knocking on hard surfaces that once may have been wood. 

I can't tell people what my goals are...because I have no idea what they are.  Now this...this is a real problem. You can read this post about setting some goals and you can also start right where you are by reading this one. If you want to rally people around you to bring your goals to reality you have to bring your goals to the table that is the only real requirement. 

3 truths I know from sharing my goals with people:

1. People want to help. Genuinely. A few years ago a colleague sent me the most encouraging note.  She said that she'd help me however she could. It was lovely and it touched me so deeply, I have it printed off and on my bulletin board still. The reason I didn't share my goals was because I didn't want to be a burden but in her email she taught me that people will do what they can, that I'm not a burden and that helping me and living a great life can exist in the same space. The same is true for you. 
2. You inspire other people to do the same. Courage is contagious and is more viral than the flu. Imagine what kind of impact you could make by just being brave enough to share what your goals are.
3.   What you want to happen will either happen or something better will. Not all goals will come to fruition but when you look back to the things you set out to do that did not happen are you able to see how what actually DID happen was even better? I find that to be true a large majority of the time. 

I have some BHAG (Big Hairy Ass Goals) right now and I'll share them with you here, if you're interested & willing to help with those goals I would be so grateful and rest assured if you share yours (in the comments or via message) that I will do whatever I can for yours as well.  

• I would like to extend the reach of my posts here on LinkedIn. I'd like to have 1,000 people put eyeballs on this one. It's a VERY big goal but one you can easily help me reach by Liking it (top and bottom you'll see the icon) and Sharing it if you feel it's worthy. 
• Grow my Subtraction Project list for the Spring Subtraction to 10,000 people we've got 6,500 involved so it's a pretty big jump but I know we can do it.  We all have TOO MUCH STUFF and while some other methods are really awesome they involve some monumental fetes of strength to accomplish - Subtraction Project is about small actionable steps to remove the excess so that your life feels lighter. It's where life adds up.  
  If you'd like to help me with this goal you can sign up here. 
• The LinkedIn Boot Camp class is one of my favorites to teach. My goal for this year was to do at least one each month. I've accomplished that for January & February and I have bookings in March and June but I have a lot of months to fill still.  If you have a sales team that you'd like to have leveraging LinkedIn to it's fullest I'd love to help you.  

I'm very curious - when you read my goals did you think I had no business asking for those things? I would bet not. Are you hoping to watch me fail? I would assume you aren't doing that either. Do you now consider me jinxed? I can assure you, I am not. 

OR

Was your first instinct on reading my goals to consider if & how you could help? I would suspect that you felt that urge. You can trust that others will feel that urge to support your goals. 

>>Tell me, does this make you want to set or make your goals public?