Don't just hear, listen.

One of the most important skills at work, in my point of view, is to -truly- listen. What often hinders us from listening effectively are three key factors.

1. First, we tend to believe we are already good listeners.
2. Second, we live in an attention economy where we are constantly bombarded with information, leading us to filter out much of what we hear.
3. And third, our own brain can be a barrier.

Let me explain this last point ??

Your brain's ?? primary function is survival, and any time it can take a shortcut to conserve energy, it will. For example, if someone comes to you wanting to discuss geometry—a topic that can be both boring and mentally taxing—your brain might immediately jump to something familiar, like a square ?. It will continue to signal "square, square, square," until you feel like you understand, and then it shuts down your listening. Worse yet, you might even interrupt the speaker before they've finished explaining.

This tendency to simplify can have serious consequences, especially for leaders. While it's a personal issue to misunderstand information, the bigger problem is that the person speaking now knows you aren't truly listening. This lack of presence erodes trust, leading to harmful consequences for relationships and workplace dynamics.

To illustrate this point, consider the following scenario: If someone starts explaining a geometric shape, my mind might jump to the conclusion that they're explaining a square ?, because it's the shape I'm most familiar with. However, the speaker might actually be explaining a triangle ▲.

Even if you're truly listening, your brain might still try to simplify the information. For example, if the person is explaining a right-angled triangle ◥, your brain might automatically think of an equilateral triangle ?, a shape you're more familiar with. This can limit your ability to understand the person and appreciate the true complexity of the subject.

Solution: Retraining Your Brain to Listen

To overcome these challenges, we can retrain our brains to listen more effectively.

One solution is to follow these three steps:

1) Ask open-ended questions: Give the person in front of you the space and attention they need to fully express themselves. This helps them feel heard and valued.

2) Repeat what they said: Instead of interpreting or planning your reply while they’re talking, simply repeat what they said to ensure you've understood. You might say, "Let me see if I got this right," and then paraphrase their words.

3) Clarify and confirm: Ask, "Is this all, or did I understand you well?" This is crucial because sometimes people may talk about one thing but mean something entirely different.

By following these steps, you can minimize misunderstandings and foster better communication.

Let me know in the comments if you have another strategy that helped you become a better listener, and what results you’ve seen from it!