Don't Judge - It's Their Journey

You see someone make a post on social media you vehemently disagree with - do you ever stop to think about exactly why?

Perhaps you think someone should make changes in their lifestyle, diet or political choices. Why do you feel this way?

There are a litany of sources - from environment to parenting to other influencers - that impact our choices and beliefs. We will spend much of our lives being judged - by tests, people in positions of authority, or even by others who have a different experience. Few things - unless they directly and intentionally negatively impact others, merit negative judgment from others. Certainly, we will be assessed and ranked by school and job reviews - we will have strengths and areas of opportunity in everything we do. But passing judgment has no place. Why? Because it's their journey.

The age old adage of "walk a mile in their shoes" before you judge holds a lot of weight. People's choices and actions and their reactions are a result of everything that's come before; sure, people can change, evolve and make new choices. But there are a wide array of influences you're not privy to that has led the person you're watching to do the things they do.

We live in a time of polarizing politics, when many people choose to write people off solely because of who they voted for or the political posts or memes they share. Political beliefs often stem from being told by a parent early on who's good and who's bad; we grow up and perhaps start to form our own opinions, are swayed by what we're told by celebrities or we see from a biased source, or we gravitate toward one or two very specific issues that mean a great deal to us. It does not make any of these things wrong. Where we go wrong is when we decide that because of what we choose to see - a vote or support for a candidate - is the reason to choose to hate. It's not. Where we fail is choosing not to understand why others gravitate toward certain issues they are passion about; we mutually decide in some cases to fuel the passion into blind hatred - and that's never OK.

We're all on a journey. The destination is sometimes unclear, and the terrain uncertain, but one thing is apparent - we're all in this together. It falls upon us to make choices that help ourselves and often others but certainly do not hinder them.

In our careers, we're often faced with decisions that can aid ourselves, aid others, or hurt others; you may not see it in the moment, but the value you can bring to someone else with a decision can be a tremendous investment in that relationship which pays dividends down the road. It's why you invest in people and make decisions that not only benefit yourself, but bring benefit to those you impact.

We'll encounter a ton of people who we are in a position to impact, and the more often you choose to understand them and their perspective and the more often you choose to lead with kindness and empathy, the higher probability you have of leaving a positive mark, building a brand of integrity and comradery and being someone others want to associate with, work with, help or partner with.

Look no further than George Bailey, the protagonist of "It's a Wonderful Life" - like we all do, the man had his ups and downs. He made some tough choices - some he'd likely change if given the chance. But when faced with decisions that impacted others, he always did everything he could to benefit the community as a whole. No spoilers here - it paid off for him when he needed it most and the relationships paid a major personal and emotional dividend.

We make a lot of choices - personal, professional, spiritual - and not everyone is going to agree with them; we'll disagree with others as well and sometimes, if we really think about it, we may not even know why. Could be jealousy, could be something ingrained in us long ago or even something we blindly follow. Truth be told, we rarely enjoy judgment - specifically undeserved - and this will be true of the person you're judging as well.

Faced with the same circumstances, others may make different decisions - they are also not going to be privy to the same set of choices or opportunities. Furthermore, if we could make decisions differently given a second or third chance, it's possible we would as well. Understand where someone is coming from. Take time to invest in the relationship and understand their journey - it can truly only help broaden your perspective. Don't write someone off until or unless you've truly determined that their choices and blind hatred is a detriment to those around them and they are unwilling to change. And, even then, be willing to help them on their journey if they ever call upon you to aid their evolution.

We're all on a journey, and we can't do it alone. Do your personal best, but be very open to the perspectives of others - you cannot have any positive impact with them if you don't care about what they care about. They will help you complete your perspectives, and they will enrich your journey like you enrich theirs.

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Carson V. Heady has written a book entitled "Birth of a Salesman" and sequels "The Salesman Against the World" and "A Salesman Forever" which take the unique approach of serving as sales/leadership books inside of novels showing proven sales principles designed to birth you into the top producer you were born to be. If you would like to strengthen your sales skills, go to https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ICRVMI2/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_yGXKtb0G

Heady posts for "Consult Carson" serving as the "Dear Abby" of sales and sales leadership. You may post any question that puzzles you regarding sales and sales leadership careers: interviewing, the sales process, advancing and achieving.

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